Tuesday, June 23, 2015

How To Do Things Right?

I read a short comment about the plight of the modern woman: it is impossible for her to do things right.

If she decides not to have children, she's selfish.

If she decides to have children and stay home, she's a lazy home-body.

If she has children and goes back to work, she's abandoning her children.

If she's having a few pounds too many, she's lazy.

If she's in a good shape, she's self-centered and ego-centric.

In order to not feed the Tumbler-feminists, these comments are rarely ever made by men. They are made by women about other women.

Why is it that some women seem to have to look down on the choices others make? Are they so unhappy with their own lives that they have to berate others for their choices? Are they so self-conscious that others can't do right in their eyes if they not make the same choices?

Why do women have to make lives more difficult for other women?  Why not accept the choice not to have kids, or take into consideration that it possibly was not a choice but a result of circumstances or medical issues. Why not accept that a woman wants to stay home raising children if the family can afford it?  Why not accept that being a mom may simply not fulfill a woman completely, or that it may not be a choice and the additional income is needed to support the family? Why not accept other people's looks without assumptions, criticism, and judgement?

Meeting other people with kindness instead of criticism may make lives for everyone much easier. No matter our choices, I have to admit that I sometimes wonder whether it was right to take that particular path. And meeting random judgement instead of support or constructive criticism can be hard and I often second-guess myself as a result; and even if I am sure of the path I've chosen, being met with open criticism is painful.

Even if we may be insecure and other life choices may prompt us to question our own, being graceful and kind should be the way to go. It's free, and ultimately, good thoughts will make ourselves feel better as well.


  1. Aw, I am so with you on this Stephanie and not sure why we all just can't be a bit kinder to each other as women. Seriously, it wouldn't kill any of us to try a bit harder.

    1. I absolutely agree. Men are generally a lot nicer to women than women to each other. It may be a lot based on self-consciousness and insecurity, but still..