A Mommy Post - MiBaby

Thanks to my Facebook sidebar (yes, I am one of those people who occasionally actually clicks on one of the ads there), I have come across a quite awesome upstarting new website for parents to learn about products, write reviews, and discuss about everything baby-/kids-/family-related. MiBaby was founded by two young men, who wanted to create not a shopping website but a place for personal advice and exchange of experience, according to their personal statements. In my opinion, the succeeded!

What I really like about this page is that the reviews are written by people who actually own and have used the product, not professionals paid by a company. The website is easy to navigate and clearly divided between a personal section, the review site and a forum for discussion. An added goody on this page is their team of experts consisting of a pediatrician, a midwife, and an early childhood development specialist, who answer questions and provide advise. The "magazine" page offers interesting links to external articles all around pregnancy and young family, including official test reports, pregnancy calendars and information on the "baby blues" and PPD.

Unfortunately, the page is only available in German as of now, but if you speak German, go ahead and visit the page at www.mibaby.de

Update: I have learned that MiBaby is set to be released in English in early 2014, potentially including translations by me  :-)


PS: I received no financial or other compensation for this post. All information I researched on the page of received from members of the MiBaby team.

Challenge 2013: 12 Books in 12 Months

I have decided that 2013 will be the year I will start to focus back on the important things. As soon as I was able to, I started reading almost everything I could lay my hands on. I remember my mom coming home from a parent-teacher meeting, where my teacher told her that she  had went to the principal to ask for advice on what to do with me since I was reading library books in class instead of listening. Since my grades were good, the principal told her just to let me go; that was in 3^rd grade. And my love for books hasn’t stopped there. Through middle school I did library service during my breaks just to be able to spend as much time as possible there. In the last few years, I have read considerably less. Usually, by the time the kids went to bed, I rather sat in front of the TV instead of reading, even though I don’t enjoy it nearly as much as I do reading a book. It’s just “easier” most of the time. And, to be honest, finding good books to read has become considerably more difficult. Well, for this year I decided that this has to change. I will now pledge to read at least one book a month. New ones, old favorites that I haven’t read in a while, books that I am looking forward to reading to our girls in a couple of years, books that I should have read in high school but didn’t (I was never a fan of the mandatory reading list), classics that I never got around to read. I have already started and I am looking forward to the challenge!

 

Do you know of any books that are worth reading? Let me know and it might show up on my 2013 reading list!

 

Do you have a personal challenge for this coming year?

Running In Circles

I really hate the situation I find myself right now, with my daughter hurting and me not being able to help her. Richard and I have the agreement not to lie to the girls (ok, maybe Santa and the Easter Bunny don't count) but to raise them to be aware of the world around them and reality.

Lily is just about to turn 5, and very much aware of the things going on around her. Tonight, while we cuddled after her good-night story, she turned to me with a very sad face, telling me she thinks that her grandmas don't love her because they don't care about her. Here I am, baffled... What am I to tell her? I tried my best to comfort her, telling her that her grandmas live a distance away and are very busy, but that they still love her.

I am not sure if she believed me; I even did not believe myself... The situation is, safe to say, difficult. We live a continent away from one set of grandparents and about one hour by car from the other, and both sets of grandparents have their priorities, which is the welfare of their other grandchildren. Even when we still lived in the U.S., the American grandparents never cared much for the girls, because they are girls, because they are mine, because they are half-foreigners, I don't know. I could never wrap my head around how someone could reject such a perfectly sweet little girl as Lily is. She never got the presents, she never got the attention, she never got the love as her cousins did. We moved to Germany and hoped to receive more support from my parents, but nothing has changed. Lily and Violet are still second fiddle, if that. It hurts me so much I want to scream. These little girls are my everything, and it is my duty to protect them. but how to protect them if it is not within my power to change anything? I always try to help them focus on all the people who love them so very much, even though we are not blood-related to them. But still, Lily starts to feel the resentment from the people she's related to, and before much longer, Violet will notice it, too.

What to do? I cannot just cut ties, even though it hurts me so much to see how my family is treated. Can you believe that a mother tells her son, who's calling for New Year "well, I cannot talk to you, we're about to head out and buy a birthday cake for our grandson"? At the same time they send him a birthday card that more than bluntly hinted that he should call his parents more often? 

I've been running in circles over this issues for years, and I am honestly quite tired of it, but still no solution in sight...

2013

Happy New Year everyone! I have been off the blogosphere for a couple of weeks due to visitors from the U.S. and the general sickness in our family afterward. I am still not 100% recovered but getting there in due time I'm sure.

Today, we have started in a new year together with good friends, food, and conversation. The firework was awesome and the girls couldn't have been better behaved, we really had a great evening; this morning we started with a family breakfast after what is considered sleeping in for the girls, followed by Toy Story 2 and playing Mr. Potato Head afterward. I feel very lucky and grateful having such a wonderful and supportive family.

On the other hand, we are starting this new year with the realization, that things will not be the way we expected when we decided to move to Germany 3 years ago. Don't understand me wrong, we are very happy with the life we have built for ourselves. I am thankful for the job I have, the benefits we receive, our home, the new friendships we built, etc. But one of the big things I was looking forward to was, that the girls would grow up with an extended family as I did: caring grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. This was the ideal for me, and I was excited that the girls would be able to share this experience. Well, today I stand once again corrected. I had to learn again that blood family cannot be relied upon. There were two decisive events in the past three weeks that proofed that more than anything. I have made excuses and tried to understand for too long, but that will stop now. I am finally at the point where I know that the fight for acceptance and acknowledgment is futile and that I will no longer waste any energy towards it. We four only need each other, and the family we have built over time. And even though it is sad that the girls are obviously loved more by their "adopted" grandparents than their blood ones, we are thankful that we have all those wonderful people in our lives who love those girls as if they were their own blood. And it is comforting for us to know that no physical distance will ever change the lasting bond we have formed. We love you all and consider ourselves happy to have you in our lives!

Our plans for 2013: Build a house and move; find a way to visit with our family in WA and NM; spend more quality time with the girls; spend more time outside; be happy.

My Life As A Mom With Career

To set some things straight, I don’t consider myself a “working mom”, I rather call myself a full-time mom with a career, meaning that I spend some forty-some hours every week at my desk without, however, forgetting for only one moment why I am working as hard as I do. First of all, I want to provide for our family as best as I possibly can; I am lucky enough to have a job that is rewarding in so many ways. But what is important to me as well is being a role model to our daughters, proving to them that if they only work hard and are determined, not even the sky is a limit to their potential.

My normal day is about as follows:

6:00 – Beep, beep, beep, beep...

6:05-6:20 – Getting out of bed, dress myself and perform the morning routine in the bathroom, at which time usually at least one girl joins me or requires breakfast.

6:20 – Making breakfast for the girls.

6:30-6:40 – Putting away clothes I have folded, make Lily’s kindergarten lunch, coordinate their outfits for the day with the girls (this step sometimes does not happen if the evil blanket has taken me hostage a little longer in the morning).

6:45 – Running out to catch the bus

7:30-13:00/14:00 - Working till my brain starts smoking.

13:00/14:00 - Between 30 minutes and an hour lunch break. I usually go into town to run errands, shop for the girls, make calls for appointments, etc.

14:00/15:00-16:30/17:00 - Some more work; I like to take late lunch breaks so the afternoon is shorter.

16:30/17:00 - Run to catch my bus home

17:15/17:45 - Arrive home; most likely the hubby has prepared a wonderful meal by then. We have family dinner and talk about our day.

18:00 - Family time; we play games, dance, read stories, cuddle on the couch, basically catching up on mommy-daughter-time.

19:30 - BATHTIME

20:00 - Story time and off to bed with the two little ones. Oftentimes I cuddle them to sleep and try not to nod off myself.

20:15 - 23:00+ - Catching up on laundry and cleaning, blogging, calling friends, crafting and try to relax a little.

23:00 or later - It's finally mommy's bedtime!

It is not always easy; I admit, at times I am fed up and also feel guilty because of course I would love to take the girls to more play dates myself, socialize with other moms and be involved in Lily’s kindergarten; at times people's scrutiny still gets to me, who claim that I cannot be a good mother since I am away during the day. But then again I am glad to show them an alternative to the traditional ways; show them that they can too one day have children and a career and manage both with a little bit of discipline and organization skills. I truly believe that I am a better mom because I work; we enjoy our time together very intensively, have spontaneous picnic breakfasts on the living room floor or dance together in our bed. I am glad that I have a very flexible work schedule and can participate in the girls' activities and be as involved in their lives as could be. So far, I have not missed a single activity at Lily's kindergarten and I don't plan on ever missing one.

Our girls are my life and my inspiration to become a better person every day; and they are definitely the reason for me to strive to be a better person every day, at home and at work!

House Update - The Planning Phase

As most of you may know from a post a few weeks ago, we are embarking on the journey of building - not buying - a home for our family; rather we will have a home build for us. As you may already know, we have bought the lot, had several meetings with the builder, have signed on two of our three loans (two government loans for environmentally-friendly building and for building a home as a young family and the traditional bank loan). Now, we have set the appointment to meet with the architect to draw the plans for our new home in order for us to hand in the building application to the town in January.

Before building can start in March or April we will still have to get the lot cleared of the trees and shrubs, which will be taken care of by the seller and have the ground leveled and compressed. Keep your fingers crossed for us that everything goes as planned! We'll give you an update after the meeting next week!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

So far, we were not very lucky when it comes to white winter. During the first snow spell back in Washington in winter of 2008, Lily was still too small to enjoy any of it; what she liked most about the snow was the fact that I spent some extra days at home since my office was closed due to the streets being impassable. The winter that followed did not bring any snow at all; in fact, it was so warm that I returned her winter boots to the store in March. Violet’s first winter was marked by a ton of snow being dumped on us just before the holidays. Finding a sled for them as a holiday present was certainly a task! Lily, then 2 years old, went out with me once; she was seriously waist-deep in snow and braved her way to the playground - without any help from me - to go and play on the see-saw (I know, why the see-saw??). She also got to play with the sled until she took a somersault off the back and ended up face-down in a snow hill unable to move because she was bundled up like a little Michelin man. Once back home I was frozen solid and couldn’t get warm for the rest of the day. Jeans and running shoes were definitely not the right outfit for a trip through (for me) knee-deep snow; I had planned on only shoveling a little trail and was not prepared for a lengthy outing. Before we could take any more advantage of the white, both girls got sick – and once recovered, the snow was gone and did not return for the rest of the winter. Last year was a green winter as well with temperatures way above freezing, except that cold spell in February, when it was way too cold for snow. I believe I must have jinxed us all by buying the sled back in 2010!

I almost didn’t believe in winter fun for the girls any more, but lo and behold, on December 2, 2012, just in time for the meteorological start of winter, we woke up to the streets and houses being powdered and little white flurries whirling through the air. The girls stood on their chairs, looking out the windows in awe. Lily’s first question was: “Can we take out the sled??”, and to be honest, I was about as excited for snow as the girls were. If Lily and Violet had gotten their way, we would have run outside in jammies, but since I am the grown-up I made us all hot chocolate and honey and raisin oatmeal for breakfast. After the snow had slowed down a bit, I bundled up the girls and off we went. I was beautiful! While I shoveled the stairs and front yard, the girls went to explore the white powder covering everything. When I was done we even build a little snow man and had a snowball fight; yes, I do throw snowballs at my daughters!  

After two hours, which felt more like twenty minutes, I went back in to make noodle soup for lunch while the girls kept playing with the neighbors’ girls and the dogs. I can tell you, there is nothing better than a nice family lunch after lots of play outside.  Today, the snow is everything but gone, but more snow is expected for the weekends. Cross your fingers that it will be enough for some sled action!

The girls and their snowman