Week In Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (94)

I'm late and the link-up is closed. Life happened (and I'm happy it did), so I simply could not find the time to write my thankfuls for last week on time, but still I feel the need to write them anyway. Tonight, after a few very, very busy days, I finally have the time to sit down and ponder over last week, the good things, the not so good things, what I've learned, and that after all is said and done, I'm thankful for everything!

Last weeks thankfuls:

1. Having an awesome neighbor who gives me a lift to work every day. I asked her if I could hitch a ride with her for the month of March, as I missed to re-apply for my bus pass on time and buying individual tickets both ways would have been immensely expensive. Since Wednesday, I have an active monthly bus pass again, but my kind neighbor still offered to give me a ride to work (we work at the same building) so I can sleep an extra 30 minutes every morning!

2. Getting an email from the wonderful Ivy that my gift to thank her for the beautiful necklace and charms she had made for me has finally arrived. And she likes it, which makes it even better!!

3. Spring break. Lily has two weeks off from school over the spring holidays, which means no afternoon class on Monday, and all other appointments and activities for both girls are also canceled due to the holidays. We as a family definitely enjoy the free time that's opening up!

4. Get-togethers with friends. I spent two afternoons this week meeting friends of mine. It felt so good catching up!

5. Open conversations with hubby. I am so, so thankful that we can talk openly and on eye-level about our feelings, our fears, our emotions.

6. Watching Calvin around other kids his age. Last time I met my friend and her now 9-month old daughter, Calvin was only a few weeks old, and both babies were lying on their blanket without any interest in each other or the toys (of course). Now, they were playing so nicely, even though it took Calvin quite some time warming up to the two girls who were at the play group. Is he going to be a shy one??

7. My boss being flexible and allowing me to switch some days around so I could both work an extra day last week to attend a department meeting and take an extra day off when our friend from the U.S. is coming for a visit later this month!

8. Lily learning the benefits of being always honest. We've had some issues about telling the truth recently, and it was extremely frustrating. In the past, I always knew that I could trust Lily unconditionally; if she said something, I knew that it was true; but due to her lying to me (and being caught lying) a few times in the last months, sadly this deep trust is gone. But it seems that talking to her about how it is important to always tell the truth and that she would never get into as much troubles for admitting to having done something than if she's lying to me about it. The trust is definitely coming back, and I am so, so glad about it.

9. A washing machine. Seeing the piles of laundry a family of 5 produces and the state of said laundry after certain two girls return from their play in the backyard caked with mud (and absolutely happy, which makes me absolutely happy), I'm so glad that I don't have to handwash!!

10. Most importantly: Getting to celebrate Violet's 5th birthday. She has grown to be such a wonderful, caring, sensitive person over these years, thinking about others first and making sure that everyone is taken care of. In the face of her challenges, she's always brave and positive and never complains a single time. It is such an honor to be your Mami, my sweet, beautiful, lovely girl! We all love you beyond words!

What are your thankfuls for last week?

Lily's Caterpillar

Last week, Lily and Violet were invited for a friend's birthday party at a local playground. Everyone had a lot of fun running around, playing, and enjoying the wonderful spread and ice cream that was delivered from the most famous local ice cream parlor. Towards the end of the party, one of the dads there found a tiny little caterpillar. I expected the girls to be grossed out, but they were watching it so intently. Lily was actually so excited about it that she decided to take it home in a paper cup, laced with some fresh leaves. She planned to feed it and watch it cocoon and eventually turn into a beautiful butterfly.

Lily and her caterpillar

On the way back to our car, I was a little behind with Violet, Lily suddenly started to cry. Somewhere between the playground, she must have turned over the cup and lost the caterpillar.

She was so inconsolable about it, worrying for her caterpillar being trampled on the street by someone. I promised her that someone surely would find it, pick it up and place it in one of the many flower boxes that cover the town. I told her that it will be quite happy there, and soon would turn into a beautiful butterfly.

It made her feel better, thinking about the caterpillar going on to become a butterfly; I, however, felt a little guilty about lying to her. I am not at all sure that someone would put it in a flower box. Most likely it will be trampled or die on the street, but I definitely did not want to tell her that.

Early on, Richard and I decided that we don’t want to lie to our kids. On some matters, like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, we’ll leave it up to them to believe whatever they want. Yes, I admit, we do use Santa as some sort of pressure keeping them in line the weeks before the holidays, but I am actually pretty sure that at least Lily does not fully believe in it. Heck, she’s seen me walk in the door with bags full of stuff the weeks before the holidays, and she’s a smart girl, she has figured it out, but still loves to put out cookies and milk for Santa. But in general, we refuse to lie to them. They know about the world, they know about life and death. They know where babies come from, as far as they have asked. We don’t believe in making them believe in a world that does not exist. However, I simply could not bring myself to tell her the truth about the caterpillar. Yes, there is a chance someone actually put it in a flower box, or that she has actually lost it on a patch of green, but that’s a fairly small chance. I don’t think the caterpillar made it, but it consoled her believing it did.

How do you raise your kids in this world, which is doubtless cruel at times? Do you agree with white lies or prefer the truth at all times? I am confused about it sometimes, especially since a friend of mine, who does not have kids, told me at some point that she thinks I’m ruining our girls’ childhood. I don’t think I do, they are happy, feisty, energetic little girls, who would definitely let me know if I was ruining something for them. Mostly, we feel fairly confident in the style we’re raising the girls, but I’m always open for new ways.