Why We Didn't Circumcise Lily

No, I did not go completely nuts. I am absolutely aware that female genital mutilation (FGM) is illegal in the US, Europe, and many other parts of this world. But still it was our first pregnancy, which we decided to spend as "team green" and eventually resulting in us meeting our beautiful daughter, that we had to discuss a practice that is still very common throughout the United States: Infant Boy Circumcision.

While routine circumcision is not practiced in my native Germany, I was aware that it was "what you do" in the U.S. I talked to my colleagues, who, with my mom being a continent away, were the women I primarily turned to with my questions and concerns about pregnancy. They all had boys, and they all had them circumcised. I learned that a circumcised boy is easier to clean, will have a lower risk for a number of diseases, and since his nerve endings are not quite developed yet he will not feel anything. After all, can the majority of families of newborn boys be wrong (as of 2010, a good 58% of newborn baby boys were circumcised according to the CDC)?

Before discussing circumcision for our son I may be carrying with hubby, I was slightly pro-circumcision, assuming to do the right thing adapting to he culture I was now a part of.  The discussion with hubby was, however, quite short and admittedly also a bit surprising for me. Asking him whether he would prefer circumcision for a son, he plain and simply answered: "No, why? It's an unnecessary procedure."  With him having such a clear stance against circumcision, we had made our decision for our potential son.

However, after watching an episode of the TLC-show "Bringing Home Baby", where a little boy suffered from pain and bleeding after being circumcised at the hospital to the point where even the father, who was a doctor, could not do much to relief his boy's agony, I felt compelled to do more research on the issue. What I found was horrible. After the episode of "Bringing Home Baby", all I needed to see to be personally absolutely against circumcision is the so-called "circumstraint", the board where the babies are tied to before the procedure:

Source

I knew that no-one will ever be allowed to tie a son of ours to one of these contraption. Why would they need to tie the little ones down like that if it didn't hurt?

Furthermore, there is a long list of potential complications of circumcision, including, among others:

- removal of not enough or too much skin
- adhesions and skin-bridges
- urinary retention
- sexual dysfunction
- urinary tract infections
- hemorrhage (excessive bleeding)
- death

What about the commonly perceived benefits of circumcision?

- it's easier to clean.
I wouldn't know how cleaning a raw, bleeding penis is easier than wiping an intact penis. From experience I can say, cleaning an intact penis is as easy as cleaning a finger.

- circumcision decreases the risk for diseases.
There are indeed studies that suggest that circumcision lowers the risk of certain STDs and even HIV/AIDS - by a very small percentage than more traditional prevention methods like condoms. In order to be save, just practice safe sex as an adult, don't cut babies!

- baby won't feel the pain, as the nerve endings aren't fully developed yet.
En contraire! Circumcision is extremely painful for babies; why else would they scream in pain and sometimes develop attachement issues, nursing issues, or even symptoms of PTSD after circumcision? Furthermore, a piece of skin with an extremely high number of nerves is being removed, which certainly will affect the sex life later (I know, nothing we as parents want to think about now, but it's still their bodies!!)

If you are expecting a boy, or plan on starting a family, I ask you to please do your research - for your sons' sake. Not only girls deserve protection from FMG, also boys must be protected from random cosmetic surgery on their private parts. Genital Mutilation affects the lives of both genders, but while people are appalled by the rituals around FGM, male genital mutilation (MGM) is widely accepted and even paid by many insurances. Check out resource pages like Saving Our Sons, and if you seriously consider having your son circumcised, do yourself (and HIM) a favor and watch a clip of a circumcision on YouTube. We all are watching birthing videos at the birth preparation class, but how many women really know what happens to their sons when they are taken by the medical personnel to be circumcised.

Obviously, Lily is not circumcised, and neither is any other of our children. Should any of them prefer any body modifications later, they are welcome to do them. But it's their bodies, and therefore their decision alone.

Questions To Free Your Mind 31 - 40

Continuing stealing from the wonderful Jenni my journey to enlightenment with no. 31 to 40 of the 50 questions to free my mind. I definitely enjoy learning things about me and be challenged to look beyond the surface.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Probably teaching the class at work back in January. This feeling between being absolutely nervous, hoping not to collapse in front of everyone, but truly excited about the interaction and the whole experience.

32. If not now, then when?
Well, depends.. Project baby no. 3 has been approached earlier rather than later. More travelling will happen once the kids are older; we can't wait looking at architecture with them, exploring museums, a lot of things they are not interested or simply too small at this point. All in all, I'm really happy where we are in life right now, so not very many things to postpone..

33. If you haven't achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Well, thinking about coaxing little kids through museums or big cities doesn't really sound appealing to me, so fun and truly enjoying myself is what I have to lose. But in the meantime, we enjoy ourselves going to zoos or doing other child-appropriate activities, which are fun as well.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
There are definitely people who don't need much words. That's been always the case with hubby and me, we don't always need words to know exactly what the other thinks, feels, and needs.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
I guess they believe that their religion is the only true one and therefore their message must be brought to others, and if they don't appreciate it, force them to feel the love. Honestly, I don't understand it either. Not the crusades from back in the days, nor the hatred against other religions, or people who are different in general. The legislation about to be passed in Arizona that allows religious people to refuse service to others who are not living according to their standards is just another step up the latter. It is not in line with the Christian religion, and if the politicians in questions would ever open the bible at the right places, they'd know.  I think that it's probably people's own intolerance and bigotry disguised as religion is what's causing the  conflicts.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
I think this goes hand in hand with the question about the truth from the last set of questions. Good and evil are not absolute, but depend on individual moral and ethical standards, society, age, and many other variables. Most people will agree that murder is evil. But what about assisting a dying person to end their suffering? Some people go even so far as to justify killing people of other religions (see above) as the will of their deity and therefore a good deed. I know what is good or evil in my eyes, but even these are not always set in stone.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Honestly, no. I like my job. I would certainly cut hours considerably, but wouldn't give up my routine all together.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
I have tons of work I enjoy, but honestly, sometimes I'd like to have a little less on my plate these days, as I could work 50 or more hours a week and not be done.

39. Do you feel like you've lived this day a hundred times before?
Not right now, because I'm on vacation, but once I'm really back in the routine, yes, most of my days are structured the same, which again is ok. I like routine, to be honest.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? 
That was about three and a half years ago, when we packed up all of our stuff that we could take, got rid of everything else and moved to Germany. We knew that this was the right thing to do for our family, but there was nothing planned out at that point. We knew that we had a place to stay and a little bit of income from the child benefits and parental benefits that everyone receives in Germany. It was a jump into cold water, but two months after that, we were once again on our feet, and things have been getting better and better ever since. We could have failed miserably, but we had the right attitude and simply knew that it will be alright.


To know what Jenni thought about these questions, visit her blog Flying on a Rainbow!

Sunday Social - Plans And More

Sunday already? I'm not quite sure yet if I'm ready for a new week yet; actually, I'm ready for a true day off, just sleep in and wedge, even though it was a good weekend, I just feel drained. Anyways, I'm wrapping up this week as so often with Ashley's Sunday Social:

1. What is something you've always wanted to do but are afraid of?
Not sure. I've done so many things I wanted to do, and I did it, even if it was scary. My goal is to not have regrets or wonder if I missed something that's close to my heart. Something that is left might be taking a year off work. It is scary, worrying about the finances, but I would like to take some extended time off to spend with the family. We'll see what time brings...

2. Where do you see yourself in five years?
In our house, with nice neighbors, maybe a step up the ladder at work, just enjoying life...

3. What are you looking forward to before the end of 2013?
The things I'm always looking forward in the second part of the year. Fall, the holiday season. Maybe getting the house done and move in before the end of the year, but that's still a BIG maybe.

4. What are your hopes for your blog?
To continue having fun writing, keep up the relationships with other bloggers I was lucky enough to establish. My focus on what is important in blogging certainly has changed in these last few months, but I actually like it better how it turned out than the scenario I had planned for initially.

5. Do you always see yourself living in your current city or town?
Maybe not exactly this town, but definitely this area. We're currently living in a small suburb and love it here, it's perfect for raising a family. But once the kids are safely out of the house, we might want to move into the city just to be even closer to everything.

6. What is your morning routine?
Getting up, brush my teeth, make-up, getting dressed, packing breakfast and coffee, kiss the hubby and the girls good-bye and head out around 7:40 to catch the bus. Sometimes, there's brushing teeth with the girls, making kindergarten lunch for the girls, morning cuddles, etc. My mornings are never the same  ;-)


Ok, ready to take on this new week!

A Not So Typical Day In Our Lives

Another "Finish The Sentence" Friday, and darn, I'm tired. Today's cue:

A typical day in my life looks like... THIS

Therefore, I'm writing about a not-so-typical day, like today. I've been on vacation all week; today was Miss V.'s birthday, so we decided to celebrate to take a little trip to Munich to visit Sea Life and meet up with the girls' favorite Auntie.

7:15: Violet wakes up in my bed (she's come in sometime earlier to cuddle) and decides it's time for
         breakfast. We cuddle her and wish her happy birthday.
07:30: We get up, Lily joins us; I make coffee for us and hot chocolate for the girls; Lily helps putting out the
         plates for breakfast.
08:00: Violet's dashing to the table with the gifts and starts unwrapping. She LOVES all the gifts.
08:15: I convince the girls to go brush teeth, wash their faces, and comb their hair. The girls get to wear their
        new shirts.
09:00: The car is packed with the family and all the stuff we need. Off to Munich we go.
09:45: Potty break somewhere off A9; the toilet seats are metal and friggin cold!
11:00: We arrive at the Olympia Park in Munich; my friend is waiting already.
11:15: We enter Sea Life. It's so much fun!

Missy V. checking out the fish

12:45: We're emerge on the other side. Potty break with Violet and we're off for lunch.
01:15: Arrival at Pizza Hut.
01:30: We are seated.
01:45: The world's second-most unfriendly waiter arrives at our table.
02:30: FOOD!!

Pizza for the birthday girl

03:15: We head out to the Olympia Tower.
03:30: Up we go; yes, I hate hights, and see the girls fall down 500ft through a wall that comes up to my shoulder and the fence on top of the wall.

I don't show it, but I feel REALLY uncomfortable

03:45: There's a rock music exhibition in the tower! And we have muffins at 500ft above Munich.
04:15: Muffins at 500ft above Munich.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sweetie!

04:15: Lily stops at the visitor's center to ask a question.
04:30: We say out good-byes; Violet and I score presents  :-) We're heading back home.
05:00: Out of Munich, searching for a gas station. We're lucky and will be able to drive home that night
          without the help of AAA.
06:30: We arrive back home; I make fruit salad for dinner for the girls while they play with the new toys.
06:45: Great-grandma no. 1 calls to say happy birthday to Violet. The girls eat dinner.
06:55: Great-grandma no. 2 calls to say happy birthday to Violet. The girls eat dinner.
07:10: Oma and Opa call to say happy birthday to Violet.
07:30: Bath time!!!
08:00: Story and bed time!
08:10: I wash dishes and clean up the dining table.
08:30: Checking my email, FB, blog.
10:00: joining the hubby to watch a show.

Good night!!