Thursday, September 26, 2013

Mean Kid

On Wednesday evening, Lily came to me, telling me that a new kid from her kindergarten class has started to bully her. Lily told me that the boy keeps telling her that her pants were always falling off, and that his father said that as well. She said that his behavior was making her angry and that he wouldn't stop.

First of all, I'm very proud of Lily that she didn't blow up at some point. I would have totally understood if she did. I thought about how to handle the situation. At first, of course, I ensured Lily that everything was fine with her pants, and that under no circumstances she should get in a brawl with the kid. We practiced telling him, with a very firm voice, that he was wrong and should please stop it. If he didn't, we agreed that she would simply get up and leave (or finish up her work and leave then), and if she became very upet, she should talk to her teachers. I emailed and talked to a friend about this situation and decided also to talk to her teacher about the situation.

I didn't feel good in the morning but went to pick up Lily from school, and luckily, we were presented with a pristine situation tothe head teacher. She was not aware of the situation, but confirmed that she could see the boy saying those things to Lily, also claiming that his dad had said it. She mentioned that she had never seen the dad at school, and therefore he couldn't have seen Lily ever, but that the little boy would make up things like that. She agreed to have a intervention with both Lily and the kid present, which would have been actually the measure I would have suggested as first step of intervention. On the way back to the car, I told Lily that she and the boy would be called out for a talk at some point, and that she wouldn't have to be scared that she had done anything wrong. I could see that she was so relieved that the issue had been brought up and that something would be done about it.

It is to be seen how the situation works out; I hope that the intervention shows the boy what his words cause and that he's going to stop his behavior towards Lily. Keep your finger crossed!

(Source)

12 comments:

  1. I hate that kids are mean to one another. I hope the intervention goes well. Sending Lily a big hug :)

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    1. Thanks, Pinky, I'll let Lily know! I hope it's going to get better, soon! Hate that my little girl is being treated badly..

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  2. Some kids can be so cruel and truly hope that this solves the problem. I will totally keep my fingers crossed and send good thoughts your way. I worry that this will happen to one or both of my girls someday and think you handled this perfectly.

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    1. Thanks a lot, Janine! The teacher affirmed me again today that she will sit down with both kids as soon as the other kid is back from vacation. I've been bullied as a child, and my parents had the "just ignore them" attitude for way too long. That is why I step in as early as possible that these issues can be eradicated by the root. I hope that none of your sweet girls ever have to experience being bullied!

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  3. I find it difficult to believe that this nonsense starts as early as preschool and Kindergarten...but it does. Sadly, it does. I hope it goes well.

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    1. Thanks a lot, Lisa! I know that it sounds crazy, when I was a kid, children played nice until second grade in elementary school, and now? They're not even innocent children in kindergarten any more!

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  4. :( I am so sorry that Lily is having to deal with this. I just don't understand why kids can't play nicely together anymore.

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    1. Thanks a lot, Jen! I don't understand it either. But I'm glad that Lily is such a strong girl!

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  5. Oh I hope the intervention helps! She sounds like an amazingly strong and sweet girl!

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    1. I hope that the other parents won't have to be involved. I want to believe that 5-year olds are able to clarify things like that on their own, with a little guidance, if they both want to. I just won't accept as first instance that the other little boy is a malicious bully, I want him to be a normal 5-year old, who sometimes doesn't understand how much his words can hurt others. We'll see..

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  6. I just want to say that you are an excellent mom, because Lily felt safe talking to you about this and not embarrassed or ashamed or even thinking that she did something wrong. The whole situation sucks, but I'm glad that she had a strong momma to step up to the plate for her!

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    1. Thank you so much, Melissa. I am also glad that Lily comes to me with her problems, and I will make sure that the situation is being clarified. When it's about my daughters, I'll turn into a lioness ;-)

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