Updates 2011

It's been a while since I've written on here. A good 3 months to be exact. To be honest, I missed it, and there are so many things floating around my brain at times that will hopefully have the chance to come out bit by bit. I stopped writing last year because I was seriously burned out; oftentimes it was the choice between sleep and writing, then I was at a point where it wasn't much of a choice any more. Working 40+ hours a week and still being a hands-on mom to two little girl, a wife, daughter, sister, and friend just took a lot out of me. But my desire to write has become stronger and stronger, and here I am.

What has changed since last year over here? I got my contract with Siemens and due to the better salary and more time off (how do 30 days sound?), we'll be able to treat ourselves to a trip to the States in March/April and spend Violet's first birthday with her Grandma Cat. We celebrated an awesome Thanksgiving (late, since everyone had to work on Thursday) with family and friends; during our 4 years in the US, Thanksgiving has almost become my favorite holiday, because it focuses more on spending time with each other than consumerism. And of course I have this special memories of my first Thanksgiving celebration with a special young man and turkey stir fry back in 2005 :-) The Yule holiday was finally as picturesque as could be. We had tons of snow, which "forced" us to stay home for Christmas Day instead of visiting my family; Lily decided to make up for it with a spontaneous trip to the playground, facing down thigh-high snow and a somewhat hesitant and snotty Mami. New Years.. Well, what shall I say? We slept through it. I remember thinking: "That's not normal" when a former student once told me that she and her family had slept through the night at New Year's Eve, and here we are. But to be honest, there are so many New Year's Eves to come, and sleep was just more important at that point.

During this last months I managed to reconnect with some old friends and make some new ones, start and complete some projects, laugh, cry, and pick myself up again. It's not always easy managing everything, but seeing the love in my girls' eyes makes up for everything. Right now, Miss Violet is starting to walk and Lily is getting ready for starting kindergarten next Tuesday. I can't believe how fast time flies and would give a lot for it to just stop for a while, but then again I can't wait what each new day brings. And while reflecting on this past year I can't wait for what this new year, which is almost a month old already, brings (hopefully less change than last year!). A belated "Happy New Year" to all of you!

Perceiving Me, Perceiving You

The entire Powell family is down with a cold right now, which resulted in a lazy afternoon at home rather than the planned moving sale. Since I had nothing better to do (and needed some time to relax) I turned to Netflix and found "World's Greatest Dad" starring Robin Williams. It is a movie aboutLance, a teacher at a private school (and unsuccessful writer), who writes a suicide note in order to make his teenage son Kyle's death as a result of a "freak accident" (let your imagination take off, or just watch the movie!) look as if he had hanged himself. The suicide note is a hit, inspiring students at the school to look into themselves and change their lives. Seeing the impact of his note, Lance writes a journal he accredits to Kyle, which becomes a huge success at the school. Lance's poetry class is overbooked with students, and Kyle, who - to say the least - was a total jerk, becomes a hero with a large fellowship posthumously, based on the persona delivered by the journal and suicide note his father wrote.

In the progress, it seemed to me that Lance has described the person he wanted Kyle to be, while the students were able to identify themselves with different aspects of the persona Lance created. When Lance admits to the scam in the end, the disappointment can be clearly seen in the students' and faculty members' faces. Their little world of a perfect, troubled young hero a la Werther (see "The Sorrows of Young Werther"/"Die Leiden den jungen Werther" by J.W. von Goethe) was shattered, and the grim reality of their own lives set in again.

Analyzing the the movie's premise, one can see that it is nothing but an exaggerated depiction of daily life. Oftentimes we are perceiving people the way we want them to be rather than the way they really are. We love them for what we see in them whether it is truly there or we just imagine it because we want it to be there so badly. On the other hand, many people are going through life taking on disguises only to please people. I wonder how much effort is wasted in creating these perceptions on whatever end, and how this energy could be used to more effective ends? What would happen if people simply sat down, looked in a mirror and asked themselves: "Who am I?" Would it make them happier? What if people didn't go through life trying to change people to fit in their narrow-minded world view but accept them for who they are? Would it make the world a better and happier place to live? Would it help our society to be more productive and less depressed? Questions over questions... Unfortunately, we might never have a real answer for it, because it seems like an unachievable utopia.