Funny Things Children Say And Do

It is so funny to be around children sometimes (or most of the time). This is why:

I try a new recipe, chili loaded baked potatoes.  Lily eats a little bit and then puts down her fork.
Me: Lily, do you not like it??
Lily: Mami, I KNOW you've tried hard....
Thanks, love!!


When Calvin was only a few weeks old, I pick up Violet from kindergarten, carrying Calvin in my Moby wrap.
Violet's little friend to her mom: Mommy, Violet's mom stuffed the baby back in her tummy!!!!!


Me doing chores around the house with a white clay facial mask on.
Violet (startles a little as she sees me): Mami, you look beautiful!
Me: Violet, don't lie to me!
Violet (starts grinning): Ok, just kidding, Mami, you look ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!!!!
Thanks for your honesty, Sweetie!  :-)


Telling Violet that she's going to get a little brother.
Violet: But I don't WANT to be a big brother!!!!!
After explaining to her that she'll always be a sister, she was fine about getting a brother.


Lily and I talking general stuff.
Lily: Mami, on which planet do zombies live???
Very random, but alright..


With which gems do the kids around you enrich your life??

Week In Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (87)

I have a valid excuse for having been absent all week - yet again. It's been a busy week, and I can't believe how lucky I am having the hubby I have who supports and loves me even if I'm a stressed-out, sleep-deprived, nagging zombie who doesn't do laundry and - according to him - kicks him out of the bed at night.

More thankfuls for this week:

1. Completing a big project without hubby filing for divorce while I'm buried over my head in the topic of options trade.

2. Lily bringing home a wonderful first report card. I am so proud of our girl!

3. Two of my favorite things (coffee and red wine) combined: South African Coffee Pinotage. Who ever was the genius who put this wonderful wine into smoked oak barrels: THANK YOU!!

4. Calvin sleeping better. Even though my nights were late nights, at least I got some good sleep 5 out of 7 nights (let's not talk about the other two!)

5. A wonderful lunch with my friend. Hint: if you can, get yourself an Indian friend. All of her cooking is just so out of this world delicious!

6. My new diaper bag. I would have never spent that much money on a diaper bag, but was lucky enough to be chosen as a product tester. I love everything about this bag!!

7. Cuddles in the couch with the kids. As most of us feel under the weather due to lack of sleep and/or being sick, snuggling up under a bunch of blankets in the couch, watching Tom and Jerry cartoons just cannot be beat!

8. The fact that hubby and I are on one page about boycotting Valentine's Day. We don't need to spend money to show each other our love. It's the small things every single day, from a small box of chocolates under my pillow to a book I find in the book store for him. From him letting me sleep another hour after a bad night to me making him coffee.  To us, every day is Valentine's!

9. A great afternoon with my sister, her family, our parents and some of her friends celebrating my niece's birthday.

10. All the encouraging comments regarding my somewhat leave of absence. I will get back in the flow eventually, I promise!

Have a wonderful new week, everyone!!

Week In Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (79)

(imagine TToT Logo here)

It's still TToT this weekend, as usual, just without a logo, or a link up. Poor Lizzi is living the cut-off life I did this June/July, and hope that her issues are going to be resolved quickly!

Because it's late, and I'm tired, and somewhat stressing out with a pre-holiday to-do list, here are my 10 thankfuls for this week:

1. The beautiful sunset Violet and I got to see on the way to her occupational therapy appointment on Monday. Imagine a group of trees, black and barren in the distance, with the sun in the brightest orange shining through in between the empty branches. It looked as if the trees were on fire and blazing. Absolutely beautiful!

2. Getting to attend Violet's holiday party at her kindergarten. The class presented a little play; Violet was a little snowflake - the most adorable little snowflake, if I may add  :-)  Of course, the batteries of my camera gave up just when I wanted to snap some pictures, but oh well. This way, I got to enjoy the play without having to look through a camera all the time!

3. To mimic Christine: I had an appointment with my dentist, and everything looks great. Little Calvin was even patient enough (with the help and doting from one of the assistants in the office) that I could get a good cleaning. Yay for clean and healthy teeth!

4. Having friends over for a playdate. The kids played and were hardly seen at all, and we adults enjoyed good, hot coffee. Not to forget: Mr. Calvin was properly adored, which he did not at all appreciate because he had a miffy day.

5. Lily and Violet being absolutely wonderful during a crazy evening. Richard was out on a rehearsal Wednesday night; the girls had just finished brushing their teeth and getting ready for their shower. Calvin was hanging out on the bath rug and started fuzzing; when I picked him up, I knew that something was wrong even before I saw he gold seeping through his onesie. Lily started her shower while I was changing Calvin's diaper, just to have him pee all around and on himself. Unplanned bathtime for the boy it was. I managed to bathe the little stinker, pre-wash his clothes and put a load of laundry in the washer while Miss Violet was taking a shower all by herself. Both girls were dressed and ready for their good-night story by the time the little brother emerged all cleaned up as well. I cannot say how thankful I am that the girls were being so independent that evening, finishing their routine without discussions or whining. There's definitely a surprise in their future!

6. Chance encounters. I found a CD-player for Lily at one of our local second-hand pages on FB. The guy who sold the CD-player turned out to be a fellow translator, whowas very excited to meet another translator to pass orders off to. And I'm always happy to accept smaller orders. Plus the guy had this awesome British accent I could listen to for hours. I don't care what you say, just keep talking  ;-)

7. Violet's speech therapist being very happy with her progress. She commented that Violet was able to concentrate a lot better on the games they were playing and also was developing a lot more self-confidence. I have noticed this change in her as well, mostly by her being a lot more confrontational at home, but she's also standing up more for herself in kindergarten. 

8. Meeting all my colleagues for a stroll across the Erlangen winter market on Friday. It was great to see everyone, to introduce some of my colleagues to Calvin, and just get updated on the lastest news. My boss said that my return to work is eagerly anticipated, which definitely feels good. About 70 more days until my first day back at work. I'm looking forward to it, but also dread it at the same time...

9. Another fun stroll over the winter market with a friend and a total of 5 kids. The girls rode on the merry-go-round, got a gingerbread heart, and explored the forest themed market. Besides my back hurting big time from carrying Calvin around in the wrap for a few hours, we all had the best time!

10. Handmade gifts: Lily brought home a tree ornament and a card for hubby and me, absolutely sweet!  And Violet got a loop bracelet from her kindergarten teachers. I know that they love Violet (and all the other kids as well), but spendign that much time to make bracelets for all the kids in their favorite colors goes beyond everything. I'm really thankful for Violet's kindergarten teachers! (<- 10-1="" p="" s="" that="">

What are you thankful for this week?

What are you thankful for this week?

Week In Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (78)

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The year is slowly drawing to a close. I remember a lot about this time last year, when I started having the first feelings about our little baby growing inside me. The excitement of the knowledge being all my own for a little while longer until I was sure enough to share the news with hubby. And now, we have our little son with us, completing our happy chaos. It is stressful, and with all the sleep deprivation, it feels as if Richard and I barely have half a brain in between the two of us. But we are happy. And tired. Right now, I am so thankful for getting to spend so much time with the entire family, with hubby studying online from home. This is a chance not many families get, and I thoroughly enjoy it.

More thankfuls of this week:

1. A great visit with our friends on Sunday. We usually meet on a Sunday and have a big lunch together. The kids play, the adults share good conversation, and we usually get home way too late, but happy. The friendship is still fairly new, but we've been growing close so quickly.

2. Participating in a food-drive at Violet's kindergarten. The class is preparing food packages to be sent to the Ukraine to support the victims of the war there. It is wonderful that the teachers are teaching the kids about the situations and to share what we have with those less fortunate.

3. Lily being healthy again. She missed three days of school in the last 2 weeks due to a stomach bug; I had several 3am summonings to change sheets full of puke and clean a terrified Lily, poor girl. Luckily, she was able to make up the schoolwork she missed without a problem, and is already halfway through a book she got from the school library on Thursday. So proud of our little reader!!

4. Baking yummie honey cakes. I've been planning on baking some in forever, but never actually fit it in. So glad Calvin and I got to it this week, they are delicious!

5. Violet's allergy test results being all negative. So she's just dealing with a very stubborn cough and mild bronchitis, but thankfully not a chronic allergic bronchitis!

6. Getting the call that our new dryer will be delivered on Monday. So excited! We're taking a break from doing laundry this weekend and simply wait for Monday and our new dryer  :-)

7. Our sweet little Violet. She is the absolutely most amazing little girl in this world. Today, while shopping, we went to the bathroom, and as we were leaving, an elderly lady was about to come in. And what did my little girl do?  She held the door open and stepped aside to let her in. The door was heavy, but she was so proud to be able to help out. I couldn't have been a prouder mommy  :-)

8. Hubby taking better care of me than I do. He frequently sends me to bed, gets up in the morning to give me an extra hour of sleep, makes me coffee, etc. I don't deserve him, but am so thankful for him!

9. Getting to watch the kids. Calvin was teething like a littke madman on Lily's finger, Lily's sqeaking and cussing him out while Violet is rolling on the floor laughing.  They are so hilarious!!

10.  Not falling asleep at the D&D table again and having a fun time playing. This was probably the last game of the year, but I'm looking forward to playing with this awesome group next year again!


What are you thankful for this week?

Week In Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (76)

It's Saturday, and I noticed that I was MIA more or less all week long. What happened? I've been busy, gone 3 nights this week, and running around like a crazy chicken the rest of the days. I believe one night I even went to bed at a decent time which resulted in a pretty good day this week. Being a mom and a night owl is not a good combination!

This week have been so many things to be thankful for:

1. Monday. This day was so good, I could have made the entire post just with things that happened on Monday, so I simply decided to name the entire day. I've had a good night's sleep (a), got out of bed well (b), and took Calvin on a trip into town to run some errands. Just as we left, hubby found a check from the VA in the mail (c); we were both so surprised and excited! In town, Calvin and I went to my favorite wool store to buy some wool for a holiday present and I left with way more than what I came there for (d). I picked up a prescription I've been slacking on (and which would greatly improve my condition again) (e), and went to H&M for some more gift shopping. I got a great deal on outfits for our nephews (f), which was even more improved when the lady at the check-out issued the credit on the pants instead of the shirt. Before heading home, I stopped at our bank to see whether they would accept the VA check, and they do, at a reasonable fee (g). In the afternoon, Violet had her first appointment with her occupational therapist, and she loves her (h); while I was waiting for Violet, I got to relax with some knitting (i).  Even though Calvin was pretty pee'd off for being left at home (he was napping when we left), he had calmed down when I came home (j) and only shot me a couple of stink-eye glances. We went grocery shopping in the evening and had a great family dinner (k); perfect day!

2. Hubby having earned about 1/3 of his credits towards the associate's degree after only about 6 weeks of school. CLEP-tests rule, and I am so proud of him for working so hard to get his degree as quickly as possible.

3. Getting to talk to Violet's kindergarten teacher during the general parent-teacher night at her school. I know I worry too much and stress out even though there are still almost 2 years till Violet's going to start elementary school, but I see her challenges, which are more serious than Lily's were at her age. Her teacher, however, calmed me down, confirming that she's a very normal 4-year old, and that her challenges will not affect her school-readiness. This mommy went to sleep a little easier that night.

4. Going out for dinner with a few wonderful colleagues of mine. I took Calvin, who was the only lad at the table and was properly adored by all the ladies. I so enjoyed myself, the food was delicious, the conversation even better. I totally needed this time out!

5. Spending some time in town with the entire family. We got a sneak peak at the holiday market in town and I can't wait to actually go there soon!  It's one of my favorites holiday markets; it has a forest wonderland theme, SO beautiful!

6. Ninety-two more days of no work (as of Friday). This suddenly struck me after waking up from a nap with Calvin, watching our beautiful sleeping baby. I didn't want to get up for the rest of the day..  or for the rest of my parental leave.  But I also realized that I have more than twice as much leave now than with the girls.

7. Having a great time with our former neighbor's at the Chinese buffet/Mongolian grill. The food was delicious, and the company awesome as usual.  And it was the second time that week that I was out for dinner. Don't remember when that happened last!

8. Pie-cooperation with the hubby. Hubbie's crust + my filling = delicious pies!  And enough pie crust and filling left over for 4 mini-pies for dessert tonight. Yum!!!

9. Not getting sick. Last night, I had a definite scratching in my throat, so I went into total-defense mode, and obviously it worked! Feeling better today, and we're ready to tackle our Turkey-Day tomorrow!

10. The weather forecast mentioning the words "snow" and "Germany" in one sentence. There's hope!!!!

10-1/2. Being able to remember all of Monday's thankfuls. I am so brain-dead these days that I'm more drifting than purposefully moving into the right direction. But obviously there's hope.. maybe...


I hope you all had a wonderful week with tons of things to be thankful for!!

Week in Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (75)

Parts of last week I've spent in a blurr. I stood as the world was moving besides me, unable to move with it myself. It's much better now, but the sadness is still underlying.  Thank you everyone for your kind words last week. Opa sure will never be forgotten! 

Still, in all grief, there are many things to be thankful for last week.

1. Getting to attend my grandfather's funeral on Monday as a family. All three kids behaved wonderfully. It was hard for them, especially the part as the gravesite, but it also helped them to express their emotions and process them. And they got to hang out with their cousin afterward.

2. Meeting all of my extended family. There were people I hadn't seen in years. Most I was really happy to see, a couple of others I could have done without, but still.

3. Witnessing once more how many lives my grandfather has touched and how many people have come to honor him and his life. I was most touched by an old childhood friend, who was obviously devastated, and by the veteran's honor guard, where he had also been a member. They offered their last salute and lowered the flag over his grave, it was so solemn.

4. Getting back into a routine.. Somewhat.  I admit that my grandfather's death has caused me plummet into a huge bout of depression. I couldn't sleep at night and dragged all day long. I couldn't do the chores around the house, or support the children properly.I was such a mess, but thankfully got back on trap, wit the support of my much, much better half!

5. My wonderful husband. He is my rock, my love, and my life. In the past week, he has taken over many of my family duties without complaining once. He's been our backbone during my grandfather's funeral and there for me when I needed to talk about my feelings. I could not ever even imagine a better life partner for myself and father for our children.

6. Lily being an über-performer in school. During the entire meeting, her teacher had not the slightest negative point to say about her. And we also reached an agreement about the prayer-issue: Besides the quick prayer, in which Lily still won't participate, the teacher will also read a short poem for the Atheist/Agnostic/Secularist/Humanist children so there's something they can participate in as well to start the day with.

7. Calvin being healthy and developing wonderfully. He is around the 75th percentile for both height and weight and has the motor skills of a 6-month old. It seems we have to start baby-proofing soon!

8. A dear friend making me leave the home where I had dug my trenches and go shopping with her. I had a great time and not only found a comfy pair of jeans but also got to dress up my beautiful friend in clothes I could never ever wear because I'm not the Indian queen she is but rather a boring chunk of Swiss cheese, at least in terms of color. I convinced her to try on a shirt that she would have never even taken off the hanger. And not only she but also her husband loved it. I have officially permission from him to go shopping with her again  :-)

9. Officially having neighbors. They arrived on Wednesday night, with all their stuff arriving the following two days. We had them over for dinner twice as their own kitchen wasn't set up yet. It's so exciting not to be living by ourselves in the townhomes any more!  And today, another family moved into the duplex right behind our townhome. It's getting full around here!

10. SKIP (Happy Birthday to him!!!), and Zoe for making my Saturday evenings brighter with sharing tons of pictures of that cute, little, old guy  :-)


Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Grieving With Children - As Atheists

Source

Today we witnessed my dear grandfather to be laid to rest. It was a difficult decision, but we took all the kids with us, Calvin mostly for the reason that he cannot be by his own again, the girls because we wanted to give them the chance to say good-bye and face their grief that way.

I told Violet the news on Friday morning after breakfast. Violet was home from kindergarten because she was feeling sick. Her reaction was a startle. Then not much more. She asked some questions later, but seemed weirdly detached, even though this is probably normal for a 4-year old.

Lily was told by Richard after she came home from school; I was sleeping with Calvin to get my feet under me again after a sleepless night. She started crying, but Richard managed to calm her down, talking with her about Opa's long, rich life.

This was luckily the first death in the family, which the girls consciously experienced, and it came with a lot of questions. What happens afterward, why do people die, etc.

As children, growing up in a somewhat Christian family, we were told that the dead will rise into heaven and live on there. I admit that it was a comforting thought that death does not really exist. Now, as Atheists, we do not believe in an afterlife. Everything ends with death. It sounds final, but makes life itself so much more important to us, as there are no second chances or a better life afterward.

So what to tell little children to console them in their grief without introducing ideas that we do not believe ourselves?

Why do people have to die?  We get all older, and when our bodies are too old to support us in our daily activies, we eventually fall asleep and die. Sometimes, younger people die because a disease destroys their bodies or it is hurt so bad in an accident that it cannot live any more, so this person dies as well.

What happens when someone dies?  They fall in a very deep sleep and never wake up. The body is then buried (or cremated and then interred) and continues to sleep there.

What happens to the bodies then?  (Life) energy cannot die, so in a way, one lives on. Whether it is as fire during cremation creating heat that spreads out to warm our hearts or whether it is our life force to feed grass and flowers, everyone lives on in one or the other form of energy.

The girls loved the idea of grandpa turning into a flower and it did help them over their initial grief. Both of them cried at the funeral; Lily kissed her little rose before she threw it on the coffin in the grave, wispering "good night" to her grandpa. 

I am so proud of them dealing with the loss so well. I expect them to have throw-backs in the weeks and months to come; I will make a photo-book of pictures of Opa, which they can look at, and which will be a prompt of all the fond memories he have of this wonderful man!

When The Job Takes Over

I've been gone the last two days. Work has been crazy busy; this week, we have a group of people from all over the world visiting for training. Tuesday was the official dinner, and yesterday I had one of my colleauges from Portugal over for dinner. At the same time, I started feeling under the weather and developed the first headcold of the season.

After doing my training session and sat through a formal lunch, I was glad to get out a little early with my colleague and we had a nice evening; hubby made his delicious pasta sauce and we played a game with the girls. When it was bath-time, I took my colleague back to her hotel; poor Lily became upset, worrying that I again would leave for the night. But luckily for them, Lily and Violet got to stay up and watch some cartoons until I came back and got to tell them their good night story. Afterward, I went to bed myself, hoping to get over he cold; well, not that lucky!

Today, I managed to get out on time. I made baked tortellini with left-over sauce for dinner, and afterward, I got the best cuddles with the girls. I got to share quality time with the hubby, shower the girls, rub ointment in the injuries of the day and read stories cuddled up in bed.

This is how it should be every single night, but in reality, it doesn't always work like that. And at those nights, I miss them, no matter how fun the night is. Sometimes it does indeed happen, and my job takes over my first, my more important life, my family. 

Let me tell you, I'm so looking forward to this weekend!!

Guest Post By I Can Say Mama - Travelling With A Special-Needs Kid

While I'm out enjoying the outdoors at the Bavarian Forest, Joy at I Can Say Mama has kindly offered to step in for me. Joy has a beautiful little son, Sunny, who is a special needs child. And while I hopefully haven't forgotten anything important at home, Joy faces even more challenges when travelling with her family:

Travelling with kids always takes a lot of preparation and things to take with you on your trip. The smaller your kids are the more things you have to prepare and to take with you. If you have a child with special needs it adds an extra layer to the preparations for going on a trip. Of course it always depends on the kind of disability your child has, like e.g. if you have a child that needs oxygen or if your child has a heart defect and needs a monitor for the night. We are fortunate that these things do not apply to us but we still have some things we need to take into account when we go on a trip. Let me explain what that means to us:

My son has a global developmental delay which means that his gross as well as fine motor skills are affected. Also, his receptive as well as expressive speech are significantly delayed (I have to say, though, that his receptive speech is quite good compared to the expressive speech, he understands most of what we say). He also has a sensory processing disorder and a feeding/eating disorder. Although he is not officially diagnosed as being on the spectrum he shows some autistic behaviour patterns.

When we go on a trip we have to take a lot of things with us. Sunny's eating issues make it necessary that we take his food with us. Since my son does not chew he still eats baby cereal for breakfast and for dinner. This means that we have to take his cereal flakes and also sometimes the bananas he eats with his baby cereal with us because we never know if we get bananas where we stay or while we are on the road. We also always take a lot of milk with us (if possible) because Sunny loves milk and drinks plenty of it. I always say that he would only drink milk the whole day if we just let him (which we don’t because too much milk is not healthy). I always mix a bit of milk with a lot of water in his bottle and that is okay for him. For lunch Sunny eats what we eat, cut in very tiny pieces – just the right size to swallow if he does not try to chew. If we are not sure whether we get anything that he can eat while we are on our way I almost always take some vegetable baby jars with me – just in case. He also still has to be spoon-fed so I always make sure to take his feeding spoon with me as well as some fruit baby jars. Sometimes he just refuses to eat when he is too tired or in unfamiliar places so I try to offer him as much of his favourite foods as possible.

Sleeping is another big thing to be taken into account. At home we have a nursing bed for him with room-high bars. Sunny has something that is called “motor-driven agitation” which means that e.g. he has a hard time to sit or lie still. If he were to sleep in a normal bed he would not stay in there but get up again and again and he would most likely fall out of it at night. The bed is also a safe place for him because he might hurt himself accidentally when he gets out of his bed without us noticing it. However, when you are at a hotel there is no bed like that available. As long as he was little he slept in a travel cot which worked very well. Now that he is older and too big for the travel cot I had to find another solution. After searching the internet I found some kind of fitted sheet for a normal mattress. It has a part like the top of a sleeping bag attached to it. He slips his legs inside the sheet and his upper body slips into the sleeping-bag top. This prevents him from leaving his bed and he loves the coziness of his special fitted sheet. He cuddles into his blanket and sleeps so well and I can be relaxed because I do not have to worry about him escaping his bed.

Due to some motor planning issues and problems with his hip he walks unstable and tires easily which means that we still use a stroller for every trip that we take. It is a special needs stroller for big kids (up to 110 lbs) which means that it is heavy and bulky. But right now we could never do without it. However, it fills a big part of my car’s trunk because it is so big.

Due to Sunny's speech and language delay we have gotten a talker (which is quite heavy and rather unwieldy) for him this year. Because he still has to practice a lot how to use it (you can compare it to learning a foreign language which is not easy, as some of your surely know) it is essential that we take it with us when we go on a trip. That means that we also have to think of the charging cable, too.

Because of Sunny’s motor-driven agitation we have not dared to fly with him anywhere yet since we do not know how he would handle a flight without being able to walk around constantly. Apart from that I would not know what to do with all the stuff we need to bring with us! We would have a lot of extra weight to pay for.

However, we have already taken long road trips with him which always works out fine. Sunny really enjoys driving in the car, watching the scenery pass by. He always has a lot of books and toys to keep him entertained. After two hours we need to take a break in order for him to move and stretch a bit but then we can drive on. It is not even problematic to take long trips with him when I am alone. So Sunny and I are planning to visit an old and dear friend of mine and her son in Austria in August, which is approximately a 5 hour drive without breaks. We did it last year already and he did so well. I am also glad that he does not have any issues with strange surroundings, unknown places or changes in his schedule like many kids with special needs often do. This makes traveling and exploring new things so much easier.

Sunny is obsessed with books. This is partly due to the fact that he often communicates by means of his books. It is so relevant for him that I take his most important books with us when we leave home. If we are away for a longer time and he is missing a book it is very difficult to distract him. He has a very good memory and thinks about this book he is missing constantly, always tells me he wants the special book, is so very unhappy and does not understand why his book is not there. The problem is that he has a LOT of books (because he is interested in so many things) and that his favourite books vary from time to time. So I always pack up plenty of his books, the ones that I know are very important right now and also some of those that I think might become important again while we are away.

From the medical point of view there are fortunately not so many things we have to take into account. However, we always take Sunny’s most important medicine with us because he has a weak immune system and gets sick quite often so I make sure I have the most important stuff handy.

Although there are many things we have to organize when we travel we still like to take trips. Sunny is very open to new things, he is a curious, adventurous little guy who likes to explore unknown places and we try to do trips with him on a regular basis because we enjoy it so much; Sunny, too!

Thanks so much for sharing your travel stories, Joy, and I hope you have tons of fun during your trip to Austria!!  If you want to learn more about Joy and her wonderful family, please go visit her over at I Can Say Mama!

Travelling with Kids - Preparations

Preparing for a vacation with kids can sometimes be stressful, even though I admit that there is quite a difference between starting without pressure, knowing there’s only a 2 hour drive ahead of us and check-in time at the hotel sometime between 1:00pm and 5:00pm. So far, vacation preparations for the Powell family usually consisted of hectically packing everything the night before, doing some last-minute cleaning, trying to get rid of all of our food in the fridge, and heading out at the crack of dawn to hopefully not be stuck in a huge traffic jam on the highway for three hours and miss the plane, hoping that everything would go fine and we will not have to deal with our travel health insurance in the States.

Gladly, as mentioned, this time will be so much different. But still, there are things to prepare ahead of time to not be stuck somewhere in the neck of the woods with only an insanely expensive gas station around to rely on for necessities:

• Make sure there’s sun screen for everyone and that it has not expired.
• Buy combination products (like 2-in-1 shampoo and shower gel) wherever possible to minimize bulk.
• Don’t forget the swim suits.
• Pack extra towels for going to the lake even though the hotel may provide them. Our vacation rental provides towels only once a week and it would be yucky to use the same towels for the lake and shower at night.
• Stock up on travel games. They are usually fairly inexpensive and definitely much easier to transport than full-size board games.
• Pack outfits for every day of the vacation plus one or two extra, just in case (depending on the age of the kids); also buy some laundry detergent paste that can be used to hand-wash some t-shirts or underwear in the sink, if necessary.
• Bring your water-proof sheets, if one or more of the kids are not perfectly potty-trained at night yet; the hotel may not have them on stock.
• Remember the Bunnies (or whatever bed-time friend your little one has).
• If you plan on leaving your electronics (laptop, smart phone, etc.) behind, make sure you make a list of activities for nice and not-so-nice weather ahead of time to avoid stress later.
• If you don’t have meals at a hotel, bring staple foods (such as jam, juice bread, breakfast cereals, coffee, or even butter, milk, and cheese if you have a cooler) and some fruit and veggies for the first couple of days. Then explore the area and enjoy the local specialties!
• Take it easy and don’t stress too much; after all, you are not leaving civilization behind!

Even though our vacation is still a couple of days away, I wish you all a great week!
 

Of Time And Children

I noticed that time passes different since having children. The time around the holidays and birthdays becomes more special, we see time passing day by day, watching the kids grow, learn, and turn from babies to toddlers to little girls.

I remember Lily outgrowing her first newborn outfits. I did not want to accept the fact. She was wearing her newborn suits probably a week or two after outgrowing them, just because I was simply not ready to acknowledge that she has already grown so much, and will continue to grow for the next 12 to 15 years.

She continued to grow, and at some point, I did not notice the change from 12 months clothes to size 18 months or even 2T. Then it was time to unpack all the newborn outfits as we prepared to welcome another little girl into our family. And I was looking at my little Lily, not being able to believe how much she has grown, and that she had ever fit in those teeny-tiny onesies; she was still my little girl after all! This changed after Violet joined us. Seeing Lily with her little sister was undisputable proof on how time has gone by. And it did not slow down. Before I knew it, Lily started kindergarten, and in just a few weeks, she’s going to start her pre-school year in kindergarten, and darn is she excited about it.

My tiny baby, Violet, is attending kindergarten now as well; she’s making friends by herself, and tells me about her daily adventures (which are mostly “I played with my friend Katharina in the play kitchen” and “I fell during play time in the yard and hurt myself”). I don’t know why, but it is much harder letting go of the baby with Violet than it was with Lily. Maybe because Lily has always been the independent free-spirit, maybe because she became a big sister at only 26 months, maybe because she’s my strong-willed girl who puts people in their place if they overstep her boundaries. Violet is even at age 3 still my skinny little snuggle-bug, who loves to cuddle under the blanket with her nucki, her two bunnies, and preferably me.

But while time flies most of the time, there are days I wished would end preferably right after breakfast. Those rainy days where there’s nothing to do, the kids and I are feeling the cabin-fever, and I’m pretty sure we all know that this day would be awful. The girls are arguing and trashing the house. If Violet’s not arguing, she’s attached to my leg so I have shake her off to get to the bathroom, and there’s no chance of nap-time whatsoever. But even those weird days usually end sooner or later, and once I’m reading a good-night story to Lily and get to cuddle her to sleep, I wished that the time would just stand still – if only for a little while.

Time itself has also become more precious. I try to live my life more in the presence, don’t obsess too much about the past and don’t worry too much for the future (still working on that!). I love the moments when Violet comes in my bed to cuddle in the morning or Lily runs me over and hugs me when I step in the door after work at night. There are mornings where I get to enjoy my morning coffee and read a magazine while the girls play in their rooms. I enjoy being able to sit on the porch with a glass of wine at night or have a movie date on the couch with the hubbie. Those moments are much too precious to waste with regrets and worries.

And as I sit, watching time pass by, I sometimes wish for a split second that it could be April or May of 2010 again, those few weeks I still treasure so much, with a 2-year old and a newborn, all four of us spending our days together, enjoying little outings, and catching our breath before the storm of giving up our lives in the States to move over the big pond and start our adventure of living in Germany.

Is there a time in your life you wish you could re-live over and over again?

Linkin' With The Ladies - I'm SO Glad it's Your's!!

Today, I am "Linkin' With The Ladies" being Katie at Dysfunction Junction, her great team of co-hosts, and of course the many bloggers hopping around just like me on the search for gems in the blogosphere.

Well, what else was up today? I got the car ready for our trip to Munich tomorrow to celebrate Miss Violet's birthday at Sea Life (meaning: I gave it a MUCH needed cleaning and now don't feel like a slob driving into posh Munich).

In the afternoon, we all went to a friend of Lily's for a play date. Accidentially, almost all of Lily's friends have sisters Violet's age, two of them being even born in the same month! We had a lot of fun, ate yummie chocolate cake and listened to the girls playing. We talked a lot about the house and Nicole, the mom, showed me a bunch of pictures from when they built their house back in 2006. Yes, Germans are VERY much into building! We all had a very good time, which suddenly ended when it was time to say our good-byes and head home. Lily decided that it was time for an epic tantrum. No, no normal tantrum, an epic one, including lots of screaming, kicking, throwing herself on the floor, fighting the jacket, etc. As if a tantrum had ever helped her achieve what she wanted.. Anyways, after Lily was indignantly carried away from the site by her Daddy, I got Violet ready to leave and apologized again to our hosts for Lily's behaviour. Their response?

"Oh, we've been there... And I'm SO glad it's your's this time!!"

I love people with a sense of humor. I'm heading off with my glass of wine now, planning the route for tomorrow and waiting for the yeast bread to be finished. Cheers!

Powell, Party Of Four, Forever?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself those past few weeks. I have the baby fever really bad at the moment, but with the house and Violet having her issues, right now is definitely not the time to expand our family. However, deep down I feel like I’m not done having children yet for good. From the time I was seriously thinking about family, I wanted three children; if possible, two close together and another one 5 or 6 years after the second.

 

Then, I got married and became pregnant a little over a year later. Once we had our little girl, I wanted to have a second one as soon as possible. As she approached 9 months, the time I wanted to wait until trying for another baby, there was no way we were ready to add to our family. I felt I didn't even have enough time to spend with Lily; however, when she was 15 months old, she started asking for a sibling. To be honest, I was not ready for another one, but Lily was lucky and September 16, 2009 at 4:30am, two little blue lines smiled back at me from a pregnancy test (I would find out that I had been 10 weeks pregnant at that point). Our little girl was over the moon, and we adults were panicked. We tried to decide how to continue from there, as we both knew that something had to change; in our situation back then, having another baby would have really stretched the finances and I already felt enormous pressure as the only bread winner in the family. So we decided to pack up and move back to my native Germany, 6 weeks after our second bundle of joy had arrived. And for once, most things seemed to be in our favor. I found a great job, the social network is a lot stronger in Germany, and we moved to a nice 3-bedroom apartment that we could have never afforded back in Washington.

 

Even with all the change she had to go through, Lily has always been a very independent child; Violet, however, was her polar opposite. She has been suffering from separation anxiety and attachment disorders since she was a little baby; even today, as she approaches her third birthday, I can hardly leave her sight without her following me or crying for me. Those past months, I havenoticed that she is working on taking teeny-tiny baby steps towards becoming somewhat more independent. We are sure that once she starts kindergarten in fall, she will make enormous progress, which now sends me in a huge baby fever. I miss having a huge baby belly, I miss holding my newborn child, I miss nursing, to experience all that just one last time; to have the time to really enjoy this special time as a family since I had to start working full-time much too early after the girls were born.

 

A couple of weeks ago, Richard and I talked about our family and our plans for the future, and as just the idea of never having another baby again sends me into a full-blown panic attack. Richard, however, confessed that he cannot imagine having another baby and going through all of this again, at least not now, maybe several years down the road. 

 

I admit, he had to do most of the work so far; we had decided not to put Lily and Violet in day-care but keep them home until kindergarten (in Germany, children start kindergarten at 3 years). As Violet is now signed up to start kindergarten as well, Richard is turning towards looking for work outside the home once again. And there, I can definitely see his point of view; I am not SAHM-material, as much as I love the girls.I do admit that I would love to work less to spend more time with the girls (even though after a stressful, cabin fever-filled weekend I am looking forward to get back to work). I know that if we decide on having one more, things would be different; we would send the little one to day-care earlier so Richard doesn’t have to give up his job again. I would stay at home longer (maternity leave in Germany is for 12 months) and maybe even cut back on hours afterward. 

 

We have two beautiful girls for whom I am thankful beyond words. I do enjoy every second with them, but somehow I feel as if our family is still incomplete. Lily would love another sibling, she already asked for it, but Violet is definitely not ready for one yet; and Richard and I both believe that we need to care for the girls we have before adding one last child to the family. Maybe my baby fever will pass and in a few years Richard and I will enjoy the freedom of having two girls who can be left in Grandma's care for a weekend while we head off to Rome for a very belated honeymoon. Or we might "fill up" the house we're building (to say it in Richard's words). I know that now is not the time to think about expanding the family and that my reason has to be stronger than my heart, which yearns for a baby. I know that once the time comes, Richard and I will make the decision that is right for our family; I just hope that my health will stay strong for a few more years, so we will still have all the options. And should we remain a family of four, I think that I will be able to learn to say fare-well to my unborn third child and enjoy the family that I never thought I would have.

The Powells: Mr., Mrs. + two beautiful girls!

 

ADHD, Or Simply Being Three

It seems that ADHD is the most over-diagnosed disorder among children nowadays. Whenever parents can't (or don't want to) deal with their lively offspring, it's an easy excuse to medicate them into compliance. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to say that there is no such thing as ADHD, or that any parent should ignore potential indicators of this disorder, but it puzzles me that the number of diagnosed cases of ADHD among 3 to 17-year olds has risen by an average 3% every year between 1997 and 2006 according to a 2008 study conducted by the CDC, which amounted to 7% of children and teens in this age group in 2007.

Why all this unusual collecting of data? Well, I, too, wonder sometimes if Lily might be affected. Everyone who knows her also knows that she is a very spirited girl. She rather jumps and runs than walks, delights us on occasion with the most epic (and random) temper tantrums, is known to play with five things at once and simply hates sitting still. Looking at the symptoms of ADHD I am less concerned with her being hyperactive rather than inattentive. She has sometimes driven me nuts with her inability to focus on one activity, not even a new toy can hold her attention for very long most of the time. Thinking about these things sometimes just makes me wonder.

Having the oldest child among my family and friends with whom I get together on a regular basis, I sometimes feel left alone. Since moving away from Washington we have not yet found a parent group that fits our needs and therefore our primary source of inter-parental exchange is gone. What remains is often-times the internet, and with it its infinite amount of information, which leads almost automatically to a certain degree of (oftentimes misguided) self-diagnosis.

Luckily, there are some people in my life, who have more experience working with a larger number of children at different ages.Watching Lily whenever she sees her, my best friend, who is an elementary school teacher, complimented us on how wonderfully Lily is able to play and concentrate. If a school teacher tells us that our, in my eyes sometimes giddy little girl is able to concentrate better than some of her 3rd-graders I feel ashamed again for watching her, trying to identify patterns in her behavior that are considered abnormal. If one can believe accounts from people who have witnessed me in my early childhood, it is said that Lily is indeed a mini-me (which then again makes me wonder when I changed to be the sometimes timid introvert I am now, but that's a different story).

I don't want to say that people should close their eyes from obvious problems their children might have; if you have a concern, please talk to your child's health care provider about it. But please also note that all children are different. Some are more active, others rather sit in a corner with a book; most likely both of them are normal and healthy as can be, they are just different. I could tell that much about my two girls after just a few weeks after Violet's birth. Most children will not be able to quietly sit through a feature-length movie but rather get up and do something else for a while before returning to the couch, which is perfectly ok. Most three-year olds will rather play with 5 different toys at once than sit down and study the alphabet or numbers. Most of them will rather run around and get dirty than sit at the dinner table and only get up after everyone has finished.

There is a time and place to teach them all these important lessons. But at least during these very early years, let's our children be just that: children. Their lives will be full of pressure and stress early enough. Let's just give them these few years to be who they are and to what they do best without worrying too much or always compare them to the child that is best in the respective area. In future, I will focus more on Lily's own achievements and all the things that bring joy to her.

Of Happiness and Woes

It's been a while since I've written a post, life has just been too busy, sleep has been a luxury with our teething baby, and work just crazy but so interesting. I think I've learned more useful things in these two months than ever before, for which I am really glad and grateful. I finally feel as if my hard work is somewhat paying off and just hope for the best toward the end of the year.

Well, in all that craziness that is still called my life, I found myself at the grocery store last Saturday morning to pick up some pizza and cake for lunch and coffee since our friends were about to come over to help us put up our monstrosity of a wardrobe. Pushing little Violet in the shopping cart through the store, I was suddenly stopped by an older couple wooing over our little girl, who was at her best and decided to smile at them with her adorable toothless smile. I our little conversation that followed, the man said something along the line of "Isn't it amazing how little they need to be happy; it's because they know so little about life's woes yet". I was somehow too confused about that remark to reply right away, but it stuck, and on the way out to our car, I thought, that it's not only our kids learning from us as they grow, but if we allow it, we can learn so much from our little ones.

Just looking at both of our girls and watching them teaches me so much about the beauty of life itself, and what life is REALLY about. People, and I am no exception, worry too much about lesser issues in life that they lose their focus on what really counts. How often has you smiled today? I am looking at Lily and Violet, and they smile constantly about seemingly meaningless things. I remember Lily's eyes lighting up when the doorbell rang today and her friend was there picking her up to play downstairs. Or Violet being just content as she lays in her bed with her pacifier and one of my t-shirts to soothe her while she falls asleep holding my finger. She had a full tummy, a warm bed, and someone who loves her right there to feel safe, this is all she needed.

When were we last truly grateful for just not being hungry, having a warm home and loved ones around? Most of the time people complain that the house or the TV aren't big enough, they needed a new car because the one they have already has a few years under its belt, and so on. Next time you think this way, just switch on the TV or check the news online to see that for the majority of people in this world these simple needs cannot be met. People are still going hungry or even starving in most countries in the world. Parents have to watch their hungry children unable to feed them, don't have a home of can provide even the most simple needs like shelter or medical care. At this point, we should really take a second to step back and look at what WE have rather than what the person next door has. Let's take a second and learn from our children what's really important in life, and maybe this will eventually make a difference and help us lead a happier and more content life. I personally will go now and watch our girls sleep, kiss them good-night a final time for tonight and turn in myself. To a better tomorrow, everyone!

I'm A Mom, What Is Your Superpower??

This is what I read on a bumper sticker a little while ago. At first I only shook my head about it, but then it got me thinking, just the way the most random things make me think sometimes. A list started forming in my head, how being a mom has changed me, and helped me acquire abilities I didn't think I would ever have. Here are a few points on my list:

1. Sleep: I was always a person with an above-average need for sleep. Without my 8-9 hours a night I was a zombie; I remember one instance when I didn't get to bed before 2am because I worked late at the pub, and then had to get up and be in class by 9am. I think I actually fell asleep in computer class that day. Now, I stay up late, sometimes until around midnight, just to enjoy some quiet time after the girls went to bed; I check and answer emails, facebook around for a while, write my blogs, or simply watch a movie or show. I enjoy this bit of couple or me time at night, and am still able to get up with Lily at 6:30, after having been up twice during the night to tend to Violet. I have to say, I'm almost proud of myself :-)

2. Food: Ok, this might be a no-brainer, but before being a mom, I couldn't say of myself that I provided the best and most nutritious food for anyone; in fact, I did not produce ANY food whatsoever.

3. Organization skills: In between lack of sleep, mommy-brain, caffeine jitters, and meeting the needs (and demands) of a 2-year old while balancing a newborn, it is a sheer wonder, that I am able to remember anything. Thus, making lists (and remembering where they are) and keeping my calendar organized is quite a feat sometimes. Also getting said children to their various appointments and activities on time is a challenge, which I mostly master, to my own surprise. This type of organization skills are still new to me; until Violet's birth, I was mostly responsible for making sure that the family gets their necessary check-ups, keeping an eye on the number of diapers still in the box (and providing refills, if necessary), and provide the entertainment at night and during the weekends, which were at times filled with more activities than necessary, just to make up for the time I missed with her while being at work during the week (indeed, SAHM and working moms need a much different set of organization skills, even though I cannot say that either is superior to the other).

4. REAL superpowers (?): Have you ever read/heard reports in the news(paper) about a mother who lifts up a car to free her trapped child? Well, they come up every once in a while, but let's be honest, something like that is EXTREMELY rare, and we all hope we never have to figure out if this kind of super-strength really exist in us. However, we sometimes manage to muster some sort of super-strength, whether it is physical or psychological. I remember Lily being sick and in the hospital for dehydration when she was about 13 months old. I felt so help- and powerless, condemned to stand by and watch. For a few days she would not eat or drink, just nurse a lot, but at that point I didn't produce enough milk any more to keep her hydrated. There we were, in the pediatric ward, trying to get an IV into my completely parched little girl. I remember her lying there on the bed, wrapped tightly in that blanket to keep her from moving while the nurse tried over and over again to get the needle in her small, dry veins. Even though she was completely lethargic for most of the time, our little girl managed to muster the strength to struggle and fight against the swaddles and the nurse, who kept hurting her. And even though it ripped my heart out, I knew I had to be there for her and hold her. This task ripped my heart even more to shreds, but I simply couldn't let anyone else do it, I just needed to be there, look into her eyes, and comfort her in between the attempts, cradle her little head and kiss her eyelids while she drifted off again (writing this still makes me tearing up). At some point the nurse asked me if I wanted to take a break to collect myself. I wondered why she asked me that because I was very calm and determined in my task; at that point I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and almost didn't recognize myself: I was white as the wall with finger-wide bright purple rings under my eyes. I know I must have been completely drained and exhausted, both physically and mentally, but just thinking about my little girl kept me going. This is the real superpower of a mother, being there for their children unconditionally, no matter what. I would never want to go through such a day again, but would gladly do it over and over again for my daughters, to show them in any situation that I love them beyond anything words could possibly express.

But like every true superhero, I couldn't do it without my tireless "sidekick", aka husband. Before Violet's arrival, it was mostly him who was in charge for getting Lily to her appointments and check-ups (that were mostly arranged by me), keep her entertained with occasional Daddy-Daughter dates or trips to the playground, while putting up with my moods at times (especially during my pregnancy with Violet, even though I was not nearly as bad as some women). Being at home since Violet's birth, we mostly share all those activities, even though I try to give him a time-out every once in a while and enjoy time with my girls.

After all that, I suggest a small but important change to said bumper sticker: it would be more accurate to say "We are parents, ..." than "I'm a Mom, ...", because I admit, I would be lost at times without Richard. Yes, I could go and run home to my parents for help, but let's face it, we're grown-up women who need to get their act together by themselves rather than running to their parents for help with every little issue (even though it is never a shame to ask for help or support every once in a while, everyone needs a break sometimes!). Raising kids is definitely teamwork, and I am glad that I have such a wonderful partner, who complements me in every regard and who supports me every step of the way.

+ 1 Changes Everything

Being pregnant for the second time, I have reflected a lot about the changes this addition will bring to our family. The changes a first child brings are more obvious: they turn a couple into a family, it adds a lot of responsibility and requires many sacrifices, especially when it comes to flexibility and activities, but it more than makes up for it with the kind of love that is beyond anything one can imagine: the unconditional love between a parent and a child. One is also rewarded with the amazing experience of watching this child grow from a completely dependent infant to a more and more independent person, with a unique character.

Being pregnant for the second time, I experienced a lot of "been there, done that" (didn't get a T-shirt though). I knew about what I had to expect of being pregnant, even though this pregnancy was much different from my first (that's why it took us 10 weeks to find out). Of course, the birth experience itself couldn't have been more different, with a prolonged 60 hour labor and a birth under heavy epidural at a military hospital with Lily to a 14 hour start-to-finish labor with a completely unmedicated birth in the peace and quiet of a birth center with just the midwife, the student, and Richard by my side.

But how would bringing this precious little angel home with us change our family? I gave that much thought, especially during the last weeks of pregnancy. How would Lily adjust from being the only child at the center of our family to being a big sister? How would the arrival of a second child change the relationship between me and my husband? How will our family transform to include our second child? Over those questions I could only speculate.

Thus, even though we've done it before, we started our family on a completely new experience bringing Violet home on April 5. Early morning on April 6, after not getting too much sleep due to a restless baby, our little Tornado Lily stormed our bedroom to investigate her new sister. All our fears about her being jealous of her little sister for having to share much of the attention that was focused on her so far, were completely unfounded. Lily fell in love with Violet the second she saw her, and we constantly need to hold her back from sharing her excited love with her little sister. She is sharing her toys and her food (which of course she can't quite do at that point), and wants to hug and kiss Violet constantly. Within seconds, Lily has transformed from our baby to being a protective big sister, and we are amazed each time how much love she displays for Violet despite struggling with some issues of being a 2-year old. We as parents also had to learn a few things, most importantly that even though our girls are siblings, they already show different personalities, as well as likes and dislikes. While Lily as a baby was constantly wiggling around and HATED being restrained, we learned fairly quickly that the only way to get Violet to sleep in her own bed was swaddling her tightly in a couple of blankets. But we also enjoy seeing how much alike Lily and Violet are in other aspects: they both are/were very alert babies, being awake for hours at a time, soaking their environment in like a sponge; they are/were both active and enjoy moving around (Lily could hold her head up for a few seconds within a week while Violet already rolls to her side, since she's a determined side-sleeper).

Our family has truly changed in its very foundations. We are all learning our roles and enjoy the experience, even though it sometimes drives us up the wall. We are looking forward to watching our girls grow up together to be strong and independent individuals. I can't wait for Lily helping Violet on her first attempts to walk, and eventually having both girls storm our bed at the crack of dawn. Thinking about the future makes me smile thinking about all the gifts these two little girls are going to give us without even being aware of it. Being a parent of two couldn't be more different from being a parent of one, but every challenge is met with the so much more rewarding gift of love from our daughters. I couldn't be more grateful for both of our miracle girls!