National Coming-Out Day

I am a straight, white, female, atheist supporter of equal rights, tolerance, and co-existence. I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend, who longs for a world, where no-one is discriminated against because of looks, gender, skin color, race, ethnics, sexual orientation, faith (or the lack thereof), etc. Today is National Coming-Out Day. It is a day where also Atheists, who are according to some recent surveys the least trusted group of people in the US, stand up and proudly acknowledge themselves, along with many other minority groups, especially gays, lesbians, and transgendered people.

Along with a large group of atheist friends, I also have several gay/lesbian friends. Some of them have defied conventions and risked persecution and punishment for standing up for themselves and their partners. I am ecstatic about every one of my gay friends, who actually manages to get married, because this is something that even today, in the 21st century, which people claim is the most enlightened of all, many gays and lesbians are still banned from enjoying the same benefits and security that is so normal for us straight people. Not so long ago the case of an elderly couple from California has made headlines and proved that even the best preparation for the worst-case scenario can be simply voided by government officials. Why do things like that still have to happen in our society? Why are people forced into hiding just because some people don't approve of their life style? My message to all people who are against gay marriage: Don't marry a same-sex partner and move on! If you are a minister and your church has a negative standpoint towards gay marriage, fine, don't officiate one. Marriage, however, is more of a legal nature today than a religious. Marriage gives me certain benefits and rights. Thus, no-one should be prevented from entering into such a contract with another competent person. This should be reflected in federal law, and if you are an elected official and consider same-sex marriage objectionable, well, get over it. You are a CIVIL SERVANT, so it's your duty to serve all citizens. If you can't do that, resign from your office and become a private citizen yourself.

In this sense: Happy Coming-Out Day to everyone. Let's work together for a future that truly offers the same opportunities to all people.

Hammock Dreamin'

This weekend was simply wonderful, like the last wink of summer before she leaves until next year. The coolness of autumn is already in the air, some leaves have turned already, maybe the last chance of shorts. t-shirt, and sandals for a long while. Today, we spent with my friend Kathrin and her family, who are stationed in Wiesbaden. After a 2.5 hour drive and great lunch we headed for the yard to enjoy the sun and let the kids tire themselves out; Emma insisted to get out the hammock as well along with all the other yard toys. After chasing down Lily for a while, I ended up in said hammock with little Violet; it was put up between two large trees, whose leaves were still green. The sun shone through them and cast an interesting pattern on us while we were just relaxing and looking up at the green canopy above us. Violet was scratching at the fabric of the hammock and chewing at her fingers. After a couple of minutes, Lily decided to join us and stayed for a while swinging before joining her new friend Julian for more playing again. Violet and I remained in the hammock, just being there and enjoying the here and now.

In our hectic lives, these moments have become so rare. On any given day I haste from A to B, not thinking, not stopping, not seeing the world around me. In these minutes today, I saw my tiny world in these moments, the hammock, the trees, the leaves, and the sun, more clearly than I have in a long time. It seemed as if time had stopped for a while, and I was simply calm and content. In this world of haste, stress, irritation, confusion, and other negative feelings, something as simple as a hammock on a sunny late-summer afternoon made an impression on me that makes me think: why don't we take time-outs any more? What keeps us from just taking a few minutes every day for ourselves; no children, no work, no chores, just us to reconnect with ourselves and recharge. I have already informed my husband that I would like to have a hammock at some point. Just to have my very own space for me-time at least every couple of days. I believe if people took more time to just calm down and give up the world around them every once in a while, this world would be a better place. Who could still hold grudges and negativities in the face of something as beautiful as this planet? I couldn't, and I feel very much refueled to take on the challenges of tomorrow, next week, and whatever comes after that.

9/11 Project

As announced earlier on this blog and my Facebook page, I have started reading the Qur'an. I am doing this out of personal interest, and to understand more of a religion that has been in the focus point of much criticism and misunderstanding since the horrible attacks by a few fanatics on this day 9 years ago.

Before I start writing about my first impressions, I want to clarify that even though I personally am an atheist, I do not hate religion, none of the many faiths out there. I even think that for many people religion is a good thing since it helps them to have someone to turn to in difficult times and definitely provide a good social network. This issue has even come up during a brunch of our Atheist/Agnostic parent group some time ago. Many atheists miss this type of social connection many churches provide but don't find it in their hearts to join just for the company and actively deceive the congregation on how they truly feel. I myself know several wonderful people, some of whom have invited us to join them in their congregations, which we had to decline. This, however, never hurt our friendship, because we agreed from the beginning to disagree on certain issues and leave it with that; additionally, we were always honest about our feelings and convictions. Our friendships are based on the most simple principles of love, tolerance, and respect, which most faiths teach to begin with.

Unfortunately, there are people, like said Mr. Terry Jones, the members of Westborough Baptist Church in Topeka, KS, and fanatics of any faith, who use religion as a tool and a justification to hurt others. This leads me to my preliminary favorite passage of the Qur'an. As in the translation by Sahih International, the Holy Book of the Muslims talks about these fanatics:

"2:13 And when it is said to them, "Believe as the people have believed," they say, "Should we believe as the foolish have believed?" Unquestionably, it is they who are the foolish, but they know [it] not. 2:14 And when they meet those who believe, they say, "We believe"; but when they are alone with their evil ones, they say, "Indeed, we are with you; we were only mockers." 2:15 [But] Allah mocks them and prolongs them in their transgression [while] they wander blindly. 2:16 Those are the ones who have purchased error [in exchange] for guidance, so their transaction has brought no profit, nor were they guided. 2:17 Their example is that of one who kindled a fire, but when it illuminated what was around him, Allah took away their light and left them in darkness [so] they could not see. 2:18 Deaf, dumb and blind - so they will not return [to the right path]."

Especially the picture of the lighted fire that will turn into darkness so reminded me of Mr. Terry Jones and his planned burning of the Qur'an. Indeed, he lighted a fire, even if by now only a figurative. He managed to be in the spotlight of attention from all over the world. But this spotlight was a dark one, which could easily ended in more deaths of innocent people. He, along with all fanatics, who call themselves "reformers" of their faith, are walking a dark path ending in nothing but chaos. The only way for them out of this mess they have brought themselves into by their very own pride and vanity is to turn around, go back to the beginnings, really READ the words and don't interpret them to fit their ideas.

This all might sound like a heavy load from an atheist like me, but as I said before, I respect religion and all people of true faith, it is just not for me. I am just a person who tries to leave a positive trace on this planet and who dreams of a better world for her children.

In this sense: Let's commemorate the victims of 9/11, who were of many races, nationalities, and faiths. Let's commemorate the innocent victims of two wars that ensued these attacks and together as one work for a more peaceful future for everyone.

Letter to Mr. Terry Jones

Dear Mr. Jones:

I am writing this letter on behalf of every right-minded person on this planet. First of all, let me congratulate you on getting world-wide attention for your despicable plan. If I had a say in matters like that, an utter and total media ban would be ordered for spectacles like the one you are planning for this Saturday. The reasons for that are simple: your master plan all along was to get attention to humiliate and provoke an entire religious community over the fanaticism of a small minority. In my opinion, NOT reporting about your “protest” would have been the way to go, because it would have been the only way to counteract your malicious plan, because that’s all it is. Your behavior has nothing to do with being a good Christian, even an educated atheist like I can clearly see that, and I am sure that true Christian communities all over the world are turning away in shame from your actions.

I think I am speaking the minds of many if I say that your behavior resembles more that of a stubborn and unruly child than that of a reasonable adult. Are you even aware that your actions will endanger Western peace and developmental aid workers all over the world? In burning the Koran, you plainly display the ignorance many Muslims dislike about the Western societies. Instead of educating yourself about what Islam truly teaches by actually READING the Koran or invite Muslim scholars and members of the Islamic community to open discussion, you display a disregard, disrespect, and unbelievable ignorance towards a religion that is clearly the younger sibling of Christianity and its millions of faithful followers.

You should be ashamed of yourself, and everyone who supports you as well. I definitely know that Jesus, who you claim to be your Lord and Savior, would cringe and turn away in disgust knowing of your plans. Jesus’ message only contains love and tolerance for EVERYONE, not just the ones who think like you. I obviously know what I am talking about, because even though I am an atheist I care to educate myself, and even though we dare to disagree I have nothing but love and respect for my religious friends, whichever religion they may follow. All those dogmas and concepts are clearly foreign to you, a pastor, who should lead his congregation in the true words of Jesus. When have you last dared to open up the Bible and truly let Jesus’ words speak to you? I bet it has been a long, long time, and in the meantime, hatred and ignorance has consumed you to a point where you spit on Jesus’ message by burning the Holy Book of your brethren.

As a small attempt to counteract the magnitude of damage to the entire Western world and especially the true Christian communities, I will take the opportunity on this Saturday, September 11, 2010 to buy a copy of the Koran and start reading it. I have planned on doing that for a while, so why not start now? And I call upon every enlightened and truly tolerant, open-minded and loving person to do the same. Instead of allowing that this 9th anniversary of a tragedy caused by a fanatic minority will be marked by yet another act of ignorance and provocation, let it become known as a day where people come a little bit closer in tolerance, respect, and understanding. Let’s reach out to a community, which does not think so much different after all, and attempt to understand them a little better. Thus, I am calling for “Read the Koran Day” this Saturday; join me and others to broaden your own horizon by READING, not BURNING the copy of the Koran you obviously already own. In the end, you might be glad you did.

Sincerely,

Stephanie M. Powell

Of Happiness and Woes

It's been a while since I've written a post, life has just been too busy, sleep has been a luxury with our teething baby, and work just crazy but so interesting. I think I've learned more useful things in these two months than ever before, for which I am really glad and grateful. I finally feel as if my hard work is somewhat paying off and just hope for the best toward the end of the year.

Well, in all that craziness that is still called my life, I found myself at the grocery store last Saturday morning to pick up some pizza and cake for lunch and coffee since our friends were about to come over to help us put up our monstrosity of a wardrobe. Pushing little Violet in the shopping cart through the store, I was suddenly stopped by an older couple wooing over our little girl, who was at her best and decided to smile at them with her adorable toothless smile. I our little conversation that followed, the man said something along the line of "Isn't it amazing how little they need to be happy; it's because they know so little about life's woes yet". I was somehow too confused about that remark to reply right away, but it stuck, and on the way out to our car, I thought, that it's not only our kids learning from us as they grow, but if we allow it, we can learn so much from our little ones.

Just looking at both of our girls and watching them teaches me so much about the beauty of life itself, and what life is REALLY about. People, and I am no exception, worry too much about lesser issues in life that they lose their focus on what really counts. How often has you smiled today? I am looking at Lily and Violet, and they smile constantly about seemingly meaningless things. I remember Lily's eyes lighting up when the doorbell rang today and her friend was there picking her up to play downstairs. Or Violet being just content as she lays in her bed with her pacifier and one of my t-shirts to soothe her while she falls asleep holding my finger. She had a full tummy, a warm bed, and someone who loves her right there to feel safe, this is all she needed.

When were we last truly grateful for just not being hungry, having a warm home and loved ones around? Most of the time people complain that the house or the TV aren't big enough, they needed a new car because the one they have already has a few years under its belt, and so on. Next time you think this way, just switch on the TV or check the news online to see that for the majority of people in this world these simple needs cannot be met. People are still going hungry or even starving in most countries in the world. Parents have to watch their hungry children unable to feed them, don't have a home of can provide even the most simple needs like shelter or medical care. At this point, we should really take a second to step back and look at what WE have rather than what the person next door has. Let's take a second and learn from our children what's really important in life, and maybe this will eventually make a difference and help us lead a happier and more content life. I personally will go now and watch our girls sleep, kiss them good-night a final time for tonight and turn in myself. To a better tomorrow, everyone!

Dear Bigotry...

I think all of us have those moments, where we're just completely flattened by other people, either positively or negatively. I had one of these experiences of the less pleasant kind the other day when I was browsing around on my facebook news feed page and came across a new album labeled "Muslim". It was more or less a photo documentation of a little boy having his arm crushed by a car as punishment for stealing some bread. I agree that this punishment is totally cruel (if it was real at all, since an oftentimes omitted seventh picture identifies the scene as a stunt and shows the boy completely unharmed afterward); what I deeply disagree with, and what had me fuming was the ensuing bashing of Islam by people who claim to be Christians but never even read the bible and talk about Islam and its values without ever having read a single page of the Koran. Even as an atheist I can say that I've read the bible and the Koran is actually fairly high up on my to-read list, just to be informed. This person has been known to criticize everything non-American without actually having traveled enough to be able to compare.

I am well aware, that Islam is by far not the most peaceful religion out there. The Koran explicitly states that the new religion should be spread, if necessary by conquest. While the Judo-Christian religion does not favor violent conversion itself, it clearly says that genocide to clear the country out of foreign faiths is the way to go (see the Old Testament, the story of King Saul). Given that Jesus had probably no intention of his teachings becoming such a world-wide hype, he would be outright appalled if he knew that people were killing and oppressing others to spread the faith (let's think back to the crusades and the missionaries in Asia). Even today, atrocities are committed in the name of Jesus. Let's just think of the current Iraq war; ex-President Bush claims that God himself ordered him to attack Iraq, which is probably the greatest crap I've ever heard (my personal theory is it was Chaney via the White House intercom system; Bush is not known for his high IQ after all). Thus, thousands of modern-day crusaders march out under the blue-red-and-white banner of their leader to invade and Americanize yet another country that does not bow to their demands (as we all know, the USA is God's chosen country, right?). Atrocities such as the torture of innocent people in the notorious Abu Ghraib prison and the rape of 14-year-old Abeer Qassim al-Janabi, who was attacked repeatedly by several GIs before being executed along with three of her family members.

But these incidents are conveniently ignored when it comes to bashing the obvious enemy: Islam. Cruel punishments that are executed by a backward government or even just lynch justices under the cover of Islam are dragged into the spotlight to denounce the whole religion. That similar punishments are written down in the bible are again ignored. It is further ignored that only about 150 years ago in Texas people were hanged for stealing a horse, and only during this past century people were killed for loving someone of a different skin color (even if the pictures portrayed what the anti-Islam league claims it is, it would look like a rather unofficially lynch practice rather than a punishment handed down by the government).

So my question now is: Do the atrocities committed by US soldiers in Iraq not count because it affected only brown people who are not Americans anyways and cases like those of the little boy are dragged in the spotlight to denounce a whole faith? Definitely seems like it. I know several Muslims myself, as well as Christians of different faiths, Buddhists, and people from all corners in the spectrum of atheism and agnosticism. And believe me or not, there are good people among all of those groups, as well as bigots who abuse religion as something to hide behind. Even though I am an atheist myself, I see all people for who they are, no matter their faith. I don't see their every actions as based on their religion, but as coming from their own free will.

Does the Koran say that for stealing a loaf of bread your arm shall be crushed by a car? I don't think so, since cars were't quite mainstream yet when the Koran was written. Actually, the maximum penalty for stealing under Sharia Law is the amputation of the hand, but this sentence cannot be handed down to a child, and not if something inexpensive was stolen, especially if food was stolen due to hunger (get your facts straight before speaking up!). Does the Koran have some punishments that are completely out of proportion under today's consideration. Definitely, just like some of the punishments in the Bible (which also supports mutilation for theft!). Do some backward people still apply them today to portray their power? Sadly yes, and this applies for both Muslim and Christian societies. The only way to get away from this kind of society is continued developmental aid in form of infrastructure and offering alternatives. But sadly it seems as if it is in the interest of the World Police to maintain the status quo in those countries, which then leads to complaints that those countries are the breeding ground of fundamentalism and terrorist activity (see: vicious circle).

PS: I also love the bigotry of certain people, who love to stress at any occasion how great and free America is just to turn around and oppress other people's opinion (= Freedom of Speech). I'm off now!

Of Energy And Life

Many years ago I read a book called "The Calestine Prophecy". I can best describe it as a mid-90 New Age Indiana Jones, if that makes any sense. As most New Age stuff, it is full of fairly wacky ideas, but definitely had some very substantial concepts. The principle of treating even small kids like individuals, and not as semi-persons appealed to me even when I first read this book as a teenager. One concept I've been thinking about a lot lately is that of the struggle for aura or life force. At first, I put this one in the wacky category, until I recently went through my old room, and found said book. Over the next days, this idea just kept going through my head. Not just as it was described in the book, with actually seeing an aura, but just the way the effects are described, that most people are constantly struggling to gain this life force in so many different ways. Just think about it: Have you ever walked away from an argument feeling better about yourself because you know that the other person feels bad now? I hate to say it, but I have, and it really scares me and makes me feel like a bad person. Lately, I have felt a lot on the other end of this struggle. Whenever I am with my family in close contact for a longer time, I feel completely drained. I feel belittled and pushed around, like a little kid. Sometimes it even seems as if I can feel the energy being drained from me.

Usually, I am someone who can easily stand up for herself and is very independent. But around my family I am suddenly reduced to a person who has brains but little other skills. The daughter who is the bad driver, is not musical, or any good at handy skills. From our teenage time on, these skills were attributed to my sister, to build up her ego since she failed in most of her schooling. I battled major issues, spent years in therapy for various eating disorders, because this seemed the only way for me to take some control over my life, took anti-depressants, and finally pulled myself out of the swamp after moving out to go to college and being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. During my first year in college I gave up therapy and medications and decided to accept me for the person I am, with my sadness and everything else. A little over a year later I met someone, who was almost scarily much like me, with a similar background and attitude to our problems; five months later we were married. We are soul mates, since we never have to explain how we feel, and because we know what to do if the other one feels down. And for the first time I really realized what it means to do what the book describes as sharing aura. Instead of struggling for this life force by trying to make the other one feel bad about him- or herself, we support each other unconditionally. Without any expensive therapies or medications we lifted each other out of our depressions and became stronger individuals within our unit.

Now, as parents, we are determined to raise our daughters to be strong individuals; we love them for who they are, with their strengths and weaknesses. We are strong enough as parents to not feed off our children, but to nourish them to strive. I am so proud to see Lily growing to be this wonderful, independent girl, so full of energy and life, even though it is sometimes draining. Violet has a much different personality, but we can definitely see, that she will be confident as well. We agree that we will support our children equally in their interests and will not hold them back in their potential. Who knows, maybe the tone-deaf klutz that's me will one day play the piano with the girls...