Hi everybody, it's me again.. I know you haven't heard much of me these past weeks and months; I used to write a post a day pretty much for months last year, which I had to give up due to heading straight for total exhaustion trying to do it all and ever since I have been trying to getting back to some sort of a routine. There are many ideas flowing around in my head, which are forming to very coherent constructs at the oddest times of the day (e.g. while laying awake for a few minutes after nursing Violet at 3 in the morning or while walking downtown during my lunch break). For some reason, I seem to be creative when I am least able to write, and at night, during those couple of hours when the girls are in bed (and sometimes even Richard), I sit and seem not to be able to form a coherent, sensible thought. And to be honest, I'd rather NOT write than writing trash, out of respect to you, my readers, and a little bit out of respect to myself.
Probably this little blockage in my head that keeps me from expressing myself gives me some time to collect myself, digest some pretty heavy loads I've been facing (partly ignoring them for too long) and which will partly find their way into some future posts. Richard and I have been using the time to spend some evening quality time together, enjoying old favorites and discovering new gems. But still, I've been doing a lot of thinking, general and more particular. A couple of weeks ago I met my best friend for brunch and she brought me a little calendar with a collection of mostly African proverbs and sayings, which have also inspired me and directed me in a direction I feel is helping me getting over some things I will never be able to change and grow by acknowledging them.
In order to not be caught off guard any more, I decided to carry a notebook with me. I dug out a little black note pad Richard bought me as a journal a long time ago, I think when I was pregnant with Lily and wanted to write down some of my weird pregnant thoughts (guess what, of course I was way too busy to do so). I hope that soon I will be able to return with more regular posts, so keep your eyes open!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
If You Can't Say Anything Good...
Today, going through my Facebook page, the only thing that came to my mind was a German proverb, saying "If you can't say anything good about the dead, don't say anything at all" (it is my current Facebook status; in German, since the hubby wanted to avoid extensive FB wars almost sure to ensue).
Of course, all this refers to the death of a person hated and hunted as few in the last years. But seriously, public parties to celebrate a man's death?? Barack Obama calling it "good news", David Cameron said he was "happy", and our very own Secretary of State, Guido Westerwelle was "celebrating the very good news". Again, seriously, people?
No doubt, Osama bin Laden was not necessarily a good person. He caused a whole lot of grief and sorrow to many, many people. One may hold him responsible for the general anti-Muslim movement in the US; please don't forget that Muslims were among the victims during the 9/11 attacks, and their families now have to deal with the doubled burden of having to do without a loved person AND being Muslim in the US. He caused death, upheaval, and chaos, but beneath all this, he lived and died for what he believed, and this is more than many people can say of themselves. Osama bin Laden was born into a rich family, enjoyed an excellent education in the West, but turned to fundamentalism at some point, which started his career as being outcast, banished, hunted.
But for all the bad things he has caused, we cannot forget those who are now grieving for him. He had a number of wives, children, and grandchildren, who are now mourning the loss of a loved one. Am I the only one who thinks that public celebrations are disrespectful to the pain this family is feeling? If anything, I go with what our Chancellor, Angela Merkel published after the news broke: relief. Not happiness, not joy, but relief. There may be some people now who can lay back and sleep better knowing that this "enemy of the state" is no more. I personally never felt threatened or scared, and now feel no relief but mostly disgust of people's reaction. I can understand that the families of bin Landen's victims feel that justice has been served and may be able to deal a little easier with their loss, but those crowds at Time Square and the White House? Is this really necessary? Please, if you think it is, tell me, maybe I'm just too much of a liberal humanist to understand.
Thus, today, a day that may stand recorded in history I would like to ask for moderation and keeping those in your thoughts who are in pain, whether it is for the death of the man they called husband, father, or grandpa, or for the renewed pain of having lost a loved one during the attacks of 9/11.
Of course, all this refers to the death of a person hated and hunted as few in the last years. But seriously, public parties to celebrate a man's death?? Barack Obama calling it "good news", David Cameron said he was "happy", and our very own Secretary of State, Guido Westerwelle was "celebrating the very good news". Again, seriously, people?
No doubt, Osama bin Laden was not necessarily a good person. He caused a whole lot of grief and sorrow to many, many people. One may hold him responsible for the general anti-Muslim movement in the US; please don't forget that Muslims were among the victims during the 9/11 attacks, and their families now have to deal with the doubled burden of having to do without a loved person AND being Muslim in the US. He caused death, upheaval, and chaos, but beneath all this, he lived and died for what he believed, and this is more than many people can say of themselves. Osama bin Laden was born into a rich family, enjoyed an excellent education in the West, but turned to fundamentalism at some point, which started his career as being outcast, banished, hunted.
But for all the bad things he has caused, we cannot forget those who are now grieving for him. He had a number of wives, children, and grandchildren, who are now mourning the loss of a loved one. Am I the only one who thinks that public celebrations are disrespectful to the pain this family is feeling? If anything, I go with what our Chancellor, Angela Merkel published after the news broke: relief. Not happiness, not joy, but relief. There may be some people now who can lay back and sleep better knowing that this "enemy of the state" is no more. I personally never felt threatened or scared, and now feel no relief but mostly disgust of people's reaction. I can understand that the families of bin Landen's victims feel that justice has been served and may be able to deal a little easier with their loss, but those crowds at Time Square and the White House? Is this really necessary? Please, if you think it is, tell me, maybe I'm just too much of a liberal humanist to understand.
Thus, today, a day that may stand recorded in history I would like to ask for moderation and keeping those in your thoughts who are in pain, whether it is for the death of the man they called husband, father, or grandpa, or for the renewed pain of having lost a loved one during the attacks of 9/11.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
ADHD, Or Simply Being Three
It seems that ADHD is the most over-diagnosed disorder among children nowadays. Whenever parents can't (or don't want to) deal with their lively offspring, it's an easy excuse to medicate them into compliance. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to say that there is no such thing as ADHD, or that any parent should ignore potential indicators of this disorder, but it puzzles me that the number of diagnosed cases of ADHD among 3 to 17-year olds has risen by an average 3% every year between 1997 and 2006 according to a 2008 study conducted by the CDC, which amounted to 7% of children and teens in this age group in 2007.
Why all this unusual collecting of data? Well, I, too, wonder sometimes if Lily might be affected. Everyone who knows her also knows that she is a very spirited girl. She rather jumps and runs than walks, delights us on occasion with the most epic (and random) temper tantrums, is known to play with five things at once and simply hates sitting still. Looking at the symptoms of ADHD I am less concerned with her being hyperactive rather than inattentive. She has sometimes driven me nuts with her inability to focus on one activity, not even a new toy can hold her attention for very long most of the time. Thinking about these things sometimes just makes me wonder.
Having the oldest child among my family and friends with whom I get together on a regular basis, I sometimes feel left alone. Since moving away from Washington we have not yet found a parent group that fits our needs and therefore our primary source of inter-parental exchange is gone. What remains is often-times the internet, and with it its infinite amount of information, which leads almost automatically to a certain degree of (oftentimes misguided) self-diagnosis.
Luckily, there are some people in my life, who have more experience working with a larger number of children at different ages.Watching Lily whenever she sees her, my best friend, who is an elementary school teacher, complimented us on how wonderfully Lily is able to play and concentrate. If a school teacher tells us that our, in my eyes sometimes giddy little girl is able to concentrate better than some of her 3rd-graders I feel ashamed again for watching her, trying to identify patterns in her behavior that are considered abnormal. If one can believe accounts from people who have witnessed me in my early childhood, it is said that Lily is indeed a mini-me (which then again makes me wonder when I changed to be the sometimes timid introvert I am now, but that's a different story).
I don't want to say that people should close their eyes from obvious problems their children might have; if you have a concern, please talk to your child's health care provider about it. But please also note that all children are different. Some are more active, others rather sit in a corner with a book; most likely both of them are normal and healthy as can be, they are just different. I could tell that much about my two girls after just a few weeks after Violet's birth. Most children will not be able to quietly sit through a feature-length movie but rather get up and do something else for a while before returning to the couch, which is perfectly ok. Most three-year olds will rather play with 5 different toys at once than sit down and study the alphabet or numbers. Most of them will rather run around and get dirty than sit at the dinner table and only get up after everyone has finished.
There is a time and place to teach them all these important lessons. But at least during these very early years, let's our children be just that: children. Their lives will be full of pressure and stress early enough. Let's just give them these few years to be who they are and to what they do best without worrying too much or always compare them to the child that is best in the respective area. In future, I will focus more on Lily's own achievements and all the things that bring joy to her.
Why all this unusual collecting of data? Well, I, too, wonder sometimes if Lily might be affected. Everyone who knows her also knows that she is a very spirited girl. She rather jumps and runs than walks, delights us on occasion with the most epic (and random) temper tantrums, is known to play with five things at once and simply hates sitting still. Looking at the symptoms of ADHD I am less concerned with her being hyperactive rather than inattentive. She has sometimes driven me nuts with her inability to focus on one activity, not even a new toy can hold her attention for very long most of the time. Thinking about these things sometimes just makes me wonder.
Having the oldest child among my family and friends with whom I get together on a regular basis, I sometimes feel left alone. Since moving away from Washington we have not yet found a parent group that fits our needs and therefore our primary source of inter-parental exchange is gone. What remains is often-times the internet, and with it its infinite amount of information, which leads almost automatically to a certain degree of (oftentimes misguided) self-diagnosis.
Luckily, there are some people in my life, who have more experience working with a larger number of children at different ages.Watching Lily whenever she sees her, my best friend, who is an elementary school teacher, complimented us on how wonderfully Lily is able to play and concentrate. If a school teacher tells us that our, in my eyes sometimes giddy little girl is able to concentrate better than some of her 3rd-graders I feel ashamed again for watching her, trying to identify patterns in her behavior that are considered abnormal. If one can believe accounts from people who have witnessed me in my early childhood, it is said that Lily is indeed a mini-me (which then again makes me wonder when I changed to be the sometimes timid introvert I am now, but that's a different story).
I don't want to say that people should close their eyes from obvious problems their children might have; if you have a concern, please talk to your child's health care provider about it. But please also note that all children are different. Some are more active, others rather sit in a corner with a book; most likely both of them are normal and healthy as can be, they are just different. I could tell that much about my two girls after just a few weeks after Violet's birth. Most children will not be able to quietly sit through a feature-length movie but rather get up and do something else for a while before returning to the couch, which is perfectly ok. Most three-year olds will rather play with 5 different toys at once than sit down and study the alphabet or numbers. Most of them will rather run around and get dirty than sit at the dinner table and only get up after everyone has finished.
There is a time and place to teach them all these important lessons. But at least during these very early years, let's our children be just that: children. Their lives will be full of pressure and stress early enough. Let's just give them these few years to be who they are and to what they do best without worrying too much or always compare them to the child that is best in the respective area. In future, I will focus more on Lily's own achievements and all the things that bring joy to her.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Home Is Where The Heart Is...
It is our last evening here with our friends in Washington. Tomorrow, come 4:30am we will pack the luggage and kids in the car, me most likely squished in between the girls under a whole bunch of bags on the backseat, and head out to the airport. While, on the one hand I am looking forward to returning to normality at home, I do not want to leave all those people behind once again.
Taking in consideration the often-cited saying (see headline), in have to say that my heart is all over the place. I still miss people terribly that I am friends with from when we lived in Kansas. And even though I did not like Kansas in particular (can you say: tornado!!), I felt like I left a part of me behind when I left the place where I was welcomed with so open arms, the place where Richard and I had our first home together, where I got pregnant and brought our firstborn daughter home.
Here in Washington, we have spent 2 years, building a family away from our actual families. Arriving here in July 2008, I thought it to be our home, where we would raise our girls and build our life post-Army. Little did we know that we would end up at almost the exact place where we started out in 2005. When we left Washington last year, I left my home to a uncertain future, just the way we did for our move there. And once again we pushed through it and build a new home for ourselves, meet new people and reconnected with old friends.
Now, as I am getting ready to return to Germany, I feel it more than ever how much I will miss Washington once we're back. I felt elated as our plane from Texas descended upon Seattle, and I know that I will feel the same once our plane will hit German ground. And while my home will be wherever Richard and the girls are, I know that a piece of me will remain in Washington, with those people who have been more than friends to us, who have taken us in as family, and with all those wonderful memories we have shared during our 2 years here. But while I am sad I also know that this family will always be there for us, and we will return to create more and more wonderful memories for everyone to cherish.
Taking in consideration the often-cited saying (see headline), in have to say that my heart is all over the place. I still miss people terribly that I am friends with from when we lived in Kansas. And even though I did not like Kansas in particular (can you say: tornado!!), I felt like I left a part of me behind when I left the place where I was welcomed with so open arms, the place where Richard and I had our first home together, where I got pregnant and brought our firstborn daughter home.
Here in Washington, we have spent 2 years, building a family away from our actual families. Arriving here in July 2008, I thought it to be our home, where we would raise our girls and build our life post-Army. Little did we know that we would end up at almost the exact place where we started out in 2005. When we left Washington last year, I left my home to a uncertain future, just the way we did for our move there. And once again we pushed through it and build a new home for ourselves, meet new people and reconnected with old friends.
Now, as I am getting ready to return to Germany, I feel it more than ever how much I will miss Washington once we're back. I felt elated as our plane from Texas descended upon Seattle, and I know that I will feel the same once our plane will hit German ground. And while my home will be wherever Richard and the girls are, I know that a piece of me will remain in Washington, with those people who have been more than friends to us, who have taken us in as family, and with all those wonderful memories we have shared during our 2 years here. But while I am sad I also know that this family will always be there for us, and we will return to create more and more wonderful memories for everyone to cherish.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Things To Do At The Alamo
As some might now, this little liberal is currently holding out in Texas. So far (and it is already towards the end of our visit), it has been quite nice, much better than I had expected. Last Sunday, after the major sicknesses in our family had passed (and Grandma Powell's had just come on), my sister-in-law, Ruth, and her family took us downtown San Antonio for the usual tourist traps, like El Mercado (note to self: there is a reason why the Mexicans don't eat at the food court there), the River Walk (didn't end up making it due to tired kids), and of course, the Alamo.
Listening to general conversation in the car on the way there and later looking around at the site itself, there seem to be a few fun (or less so) activities to do at the site Texans are most proud of:
1. Taking a leak. Not recommendable if you plan on returning to Texas anytime in this life (just ask Ozzy Osbourne). Also: there are respect and yuckie factors involved!!
2. Taking a tour. Unless you are a high school class on a field trip it is kind of unnecessary at the Alamo. Just take your time, read the information provided everywhere, and you should be fine.
3. Take an audio tour. Are you seriously charging $6.00 for this friggin audio tour? I actually couldn't believe it. Take advice from #2 and spend your six bucks at the Haagen Dazs just across the street.
4. Nursing. Yes, you heard right, nursing. That's how I made my visit to the Alamo memorable, right on this little bench outside the Alamo Museum. Why? Well, Violet was hungry, I was getting uncomfortable, and Melanie (aka "Tinkerbella") and Matt were checking out the museum. Being in Texas I almost expected at least some weird looks (I was for once nursing without a cover, since it was hot and we didn't have our blanket with us), but surprisingly: nothing! I even overheard a comment from a young woman walking by saying how cute it was. Well, never underestimate Texans!
Unfortunately, this moment will not be documented for generations to come, since Miss Violet decided that she was done just as Auntie Ruth was about to shoot the epic pic :-(
Listening to general conversation in the car on the way there and later looking around at the site itself, there seem to be a few fun (or less so) activities to do at the site Texans are most proud of:
1. Taking a leak. Not recommendable if you plan on returning to Texas anytime in this life (just ask Ozzy Osbourne). Also: there are respect and yuckie factors involved!!
2. Taking a tour. Unless you are a high school class on a field trip it is kind of unnecessary at the Alamo. Just take your time, read the information provided everywhere, and you should be fine.
3. Take an audio tour. Are you seriously charging $6.00 for this friggin audio tour? I actually couldn't believe it. Take advice from #2 and spend your six bucks at the Haagen Dazs just across the street.
4. Nursing. Yes, you heard right, nursing. That's how I made my visit to the Alamo memorable, right on this little bench outside the Alamo Museum. Why? Well, Violet was hungry, I was getting uncomfortable, and Melanie (aka "Tinkerbella") and Matt were checking out the museum. Being in Texas I almost expected at least some weird looks (I was for once nursing without a cover, since it was hot and we didn't have our blanket with us), but surprisingly: nothing! I even overheard a comment from a young woman walking by saying how cute it was. Well, never underestimate Texans!
Unfortunately, this moment will not be documented for generations to come, since Miss Violet decided that she was done just as Auntie Ruth was about to shoot the epic pic :-(
Sunday, March 20, 2011
You Can't Say No To This.. It's Free!!!
Last Friday I went downtown in my lunch break to run a bunch of errands for our impending vacation in the US. As I am walking, minding my own business, someone suddenly stepped into my way, holding out a fan of scratch tickets to me. I tried to politely refuse but was met with a wave of words, from which I could hardly make out the words "doesn't cost you anything", "takes you only a minutes", and others along that line. Slightly annoyed I took a ticket and noticed relieved that I had won a "small price". Happily taking the pen he handed me (I am one of these people who are always happy about receiving pens, since there never seems to be one at hand if I need one), his speedy monologue continued. Being presented with a chart about rates and plans, I was showered with information on how I could receive two cell phones plus some wonderful flat rate all inclusive package at no cost. I attempted several times to politely interrupt him, referring to the cell phone I already had and barely ever used. Ignoring this, the waterfall of words continued without me even being able to take in much of what he said. A few minutes later he had finished his speech and I again reminded him - this time slightly unnerved - that I already had a phone and didn't need two more. Seriously, for what does one person need 3 cell phones? Unless you have a business and want to separate your private life/cell phone from your business, one doesn't even need two. He looked at me fairly blank and said: You can't say no to this offer... It's free!!
At this point, something snapped inside me. As calmly as I could, I told him again that I could, because I have absolutely no use for two more cell phones and awesome plans attached to them. Heck, I barely ever use the cell phone I have, except for calling Richard or friends for a minute or two if I'll be late, etc; all the talking I do from my home phone. And even though I know that it wasn't his intention to do so, I was annoyed by how he took excessive and useless consumerism for granted. Just because it doesn't cost me anything right now doesn't mean I absolutely need to have it. My life is cluttered enough as it is, without two more cell phones to keep track of. Why is it, that something should suddenly gain a purpose just because it does not cost me anything at this point?
It does not make sense to me, thus, I walked on running my errands, contemplating senseless consumerism in this world. I know, I'm definitely not beyond being sometimes a thoughtless consumer, but especially recent scandals concerning food have made me become more aware of certain things. I am on the brink of becoming a vegetarian (if Greek and barbecue meat weren't so good), insist on organic animal products and buy other organic food and clothes whenever feasible (not for every price, and please, organic bananas are a joke!). Consuming is part of our daily lives, and in itself nothing bad (why not take advantage of the offers available), but after a certain point, it's not merely consuming any more. This is to actually taking a step back and thinking before buying the next-best thing next time, just because it looks like a good deal, since just because it doesn't cost me anything, it may still not be free.
At this point, something snapped inside me. As calmly as I could, I told him again that I could, because I have absolutely no use for two more cell phones and awesome plans attached to them. Heck, I barely ever use the cell phone I have, except for calling Richard or friends for a minute or two if I'll be late, etc; all the talking I do from my home phone. And even though I know that it wasn't his intention to do so, I was annoyed by how he took excessive and useless consumerism for granted. Just because it doesn't cost me anything right now doesn't mean I absolutely need to have it. My life is cluttered enough as it is, without two more cell phones to keep track of. Why is it, that something should suddenly gain a purpose just because it does not cost me anything at this point?
It does not make sense to me, thus, I walked on running my errands, contemplating senseless consumerism in this world. I know, I'm definitely not beyond being sometimes a thoughtless consumer, but especially recent scandals concerning food have made me become more aware of certain things. I am on the brink of becoming a vegetarian (if Greek and barbecue meat weren't so good), insist on organic animal products and buy other organic food and clothes whenever feasible (not for every price, and please, organic bananas are a joke!). Consuming is part of our daily lives, and in itself nothing bad (why not take advantage of the offers available), but after a certain point, it's not merely consuming any more. This is to actually taking a step back and thinking before buying the next-best thing next time, just because it looks like a good deal, since just because it doesn't cost me anything, it may still not be free.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Crossroads
Do you know those moments in life when there are decisions to be made that are just going to change your life? When I look back, there are several of those. There was the decision for Richard to leave the Army and to move to Washington instead of staying and moving to Alabama or the decision to leave the States and move back to Germany just after Violet's birth instead of waiting a couple more years as we had planned before she announced her impending arrival.
Sometimes I revisit these crossroads, wondering what would have happened had we decided another way, didn't make a decision at all. And I have to say, even though at some point I might have wished to have decided differently, I am no happy for the way everything has unfolded. I am a firm believer of the butterfly effect, and without all those decisions and sometimes struggles we wouldn't be where we are now.
The crossroad that I most frequently revisit is one that I faced back in November of 2005. I was in my last year of college and seriously asking myself what to do. Many of my friends were already sending out applications for jobs or university while I was not yet quite sure of what to do with myself except that I wanted to go live abroad, to the US to be exact. It was at that point that I got in contact with a concert agency that operated offices in the US, UK, and Germany. They were looking for a translator/interpreter who would be the liaison between them and the German-speaking artists and agents. I was in heaven when they asked me to come to an all-expenses-paid interview to Liverpool. But just a week before I was supposed to fly out to meet the agents, something happened that I would have never imagined: one night, when the TV program was too bad even for my standards, I surfed Myspace (back then, Myspace was still the site of choice for most) and stumbled over the profile of this guy. He was kind of cute, but actually that wasn't what caught my eye. What really got me was what he said, and I just couldn't help emailing him. A day later I actually had an email back; after exchanging a few more emails I took the plunge and asked him for his phone number. We talked for more than 2 hours that night, and the next, and the one after, and then we agreed on a date for the following Saturday, the day of my interview in Liverpool.
There I stood at this crossroad, contemplating my future. There was the job too good to even dream about; and then there was the guy, who I knew was my soul mate without having ever met him in person. I took a deep breath and stepped on the path that might well decide over the rest of my life. I called the concert agency and canceled the interview. Call me crazy, but I gave up the job of my life for a first date with a guy I haven't even met in person, and I haven't looked back ever since. Five months later we were married and this year we will celebrate our 5th anniversary in one of the places where we've been most happy: with our friends who have become our family in Washington.
When I revisit this crossroad it is not because I regret my decision, because I know that my job would only kept me happy for a little while; what I really wanted was a family. I revisit this point in my life and wonder, whether the other path would have just been a little detour that would have led me back to the other one, or whether it would have meant a completely different life which I don't even want to imagine. I am happy with my life, happier than I would have ever dared to dream. Without all of these crossroads and the decision we made, we would not be where we are today, and at least I can't imagine my life without my soul mate and our wonderful little crazy girls!
Sometimes I revisit these crossroads, wondering what would have happened had we decided another way, didn't make a decision at all. And I have to say, even though at some point I might have wished to have decided differently, I am no happy for the way everything has unfolded. I am a firm believer of the butterfly effect, and without all those decisions and sometimes struggles we wouldn't be where we are now.
The crossroad that I most frequently revisit is one that I faced back in November of 2005. I was in my last year of college and seriously asking myself what to do. Many of my friends were already sending out applications for jobs or university while I was not yet quite sure of what to do with myself except that I wanted to go live abroad, to the US to be exact. It was at that point that I got in contact with a concert agency that operated offices in the US, UK, and Germany. They were looking for a translator/interpreter who would be the liaison between them and the German-speaking artists and agents. I was in heaven when they asked me to come to an all-expenses-paid interview to Liverpool. But just a week before I was supposed to fly out to meet the agents, something happened that I would have never imagined: one night, when the TV program was too bad even for my standards, I surfed Myspace (back then, Myspace was still the site of choice for most) and stumbled over the profile of this guy. He was kind of cute, but actually that wasn't what caught my eye. What really got me was what he said, and I just couldn't help emailing him. A day later I actually had an email back; after exchanging a few more emails I took the plunge and asked him for his phone number. We talked for more than 2 hours that night, and the next, and the one after, and then we agreed on a date for the following Saturday, the day of my interview in Liverpool.
There I stood at this crossroad, contemplating my future. There was the job too good to even dream about; and then there was the guy, who I knew was my soul mate without having ever met him in person. I took a deep breath and stepped on the path that might well decide over the rest of my life. I called the concert agency and canceled the interview. Call me crazy, but I gave up the job of my life for a first date with a guy I haven't even met in person, and I haven't looked back ever since. Five months later we were married and this year we will celebrate our 5th anniversary in one of the places where we've been most happy: with our friends who have become our family in Washington.
When I revisit this crossroad it is not because I regret my decision, because I know that my job would only kept me happy for a little while; what I really wanted was a family. I revisit this point in my life and wonder, whether the other path would have just been a little detour that would have led me back to the other one, or whether it would have meant a completely different life which I don't even want to imagine. I am happy with my life, happier than I would have ever dared to dream. Without all of these crossroads and the decision we made, we would not be where we are today, and at least I can't imagine my life without my soul mate and our wonderful little crazy girls!
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