To My Sweet Violet

I remember today, 2 years ago as if it was yesterday. April 4, 2010 was Easter Sunday. The day before I had hidden tons of eggs all around the apartment for Lily to find in the morning since the weather was supposed to be awful and Easter egg search outside not recommended. I took tons of pictures that day; Lily searching for eggs, Lily finding her loot, Lily digging in. I am glad I took so many pictures that day, as we did not know yet when we got up this morning that it would be our last day as a little family of three. I was tired this day and slept a lot. I remember sometime I the afternoon I napped on the floor in the living room with Lily cuddled close to me with her little sister still in my tummy between us. For some reason I lived this day very aware of what was ahead. With my second pregnancy I had arrived at a point of natural spirituality I had looked for all during my pregnancy with Lily. With Lily all I remember is pain, confusion, lack of control. Prolonged prodromal labor, my stubbornness that told me that it was not time yet, that the doctors said it would take another 2 weeks, that the classes weren't over yet, that it was not time yet. Now, I had left work each day as if I would not come back; I cleared my desk, briefed my colleague on open cases. It was the middle of my due week. My first due date had past on March 31st and both of my midwives were safely out of town not to return until the 9th, the day after my second due date on April 8th. The minute my midwife told me that the first time in the history of their practice they would both be out of town at the same time I knew that this was the week my daughter would arrive. This time around I was patient, knowing from the depth of my heart that she would come once she was ready, and in hindsight I am grateful that she chose this first Monday in April, giving me time to live a close day with Lily before welcoming her home into our new family of four.

I love you from the depth of my heart, my sweet little Violet! I cannot believe that tomorrow will mark the second anniversary of your arrival. We are so thankful that you have chosen us to be your parents and all the changes you have brought to our lives, my daughter, my little star, my heart.