To All Of You Out There!

Today's prompt in Jenni's "Blog Every Day in May!-challenge: A letter to my readers! For some reason, writing doesn't come easy today, but here it comes:

My lovely readers out there:

Today was not a perfect day. I hardly slept at night due to a restless little girl in bed next to me. I went to the finance department during my lunch break to hand in my tax return just to find there being 48 people in front of me; and after 8.5 hours of work, I joyfully headed to my last appointment of the day; the dentist. There were some minor repairs scheduled, and since I'm not yet scared of the dentist and also don't plan on changing that anytime soon, I asked for the anaesthesia. A good hour later, I walk home with half my mouth properly numbed up. The hubby almost breaks in half laughing at me (you look like you had a stroke!!), the girls think my speech is funny, and I cannot eat until the drugs wear off. Let me tell you, reading Aesop's fables as a good-night story while not being able to ariticulate was not a good idea, I think Lily thought I was wasted, even though I'm sure she doesn't even know what "being wasted" is.

In the end, I decided to start dinner before I could completely feel my mouth again, which was an adventure all by itself. Why am I telling you that? I'm not sure, maybe I don't really have anything to say today. Maybe: check when you have been to the dentist last and go make an appointment if it's time. Have your fillings and sealings checked regularly and your teeth cleaned. Not just for having good-looking teeth, but because bad teeth can make you seriously ill.

That, dear readers, was the Public Service Anouncement of the day.

Love,  Stephanie

****************************************

Me From Other's Perspective

Today, Jenni's "Blog Every Day In May"-challenge promts to share something - good or bad - that someone told me about myself that I will never forget.

Well, there are two things that kind of stuck with me. The first one was back in highschool, I think 7th grade or so. I was definitely an outcast and one of the weird kids. I had major body image issues that I was keeping to myself. So one afternoon in recess, some girl mentioned to me: Wow, you have beautiful eyes! A few of the other kids came over to look at my eyes and agreed that they were very nice. It was definitely a major compliment to me, since it came from kids that usually spend their time ignoring or bullying me. I think, I felt a tiny bit beautiful in that moment.

A not so nice comment came just about a year or so ago from my mom (yes, the usual thing). I've cut any ties to my sister back in 2011. Long and painful story, but I feel better with the situation as it is; I should add that the initial prompt "ok, we are no sisters any more!" came from her, and I just went with it and following through instead of rowing back, apoligizing, etc., as it has been numerous times before. Ever since, mostly my mom keeps badgering me to make up with her, to seek her out and talk about it. I refused over and over again, because it would be her turn to contact me, not vice versa; and since she doesn't seem to see the need to talk to me, I'm (again) fine with it. The comment that really stuck one day, after discussing the whole matter for the nth time was: "You are so cruel and cut-throat, I wouldn't want to have you as an enemy!" Thank you, mother! I know that you claimed time and again that you would NOT chose sides in the matter, but I also know that you have picked your side from the beginning, the side you chose probably once the test back in 1985 was positive. It hurt me, it really did. But I am starting to come to terms with it. I know that she will never be on my side, no matter if I'm right or not. I also know that I can be stubborn and insist on my point if I feel right, which I definitely am in this case. If that makes me cruel and cut-throat, so be it. I know that this is not who I am. There are plenty of people in my life who can attest to that. So once more, her opinion should not cut as deep as it does.

What are the most interesting or memorable things you have heard about yourself?

*************************************************

My Personal Top 5

Today's prompt on Jenni's "Blog Every Day In May"-challenge is to to make a list of my favorite posts from my archives. I chose to make a top 5, because five is a good number. Here we go (in no specific order):

1. Lily's Birth Story
    - Part 1
    - Part 2
    - Part 3
    - Part 4
This was my first series. It happened to be that this year, the days of the week aligned just like they have been 5 years ago, and since I haven't shared Lily's birth story yet, it was a prime opportunity to share the journey that ended with getting to hold our beautiful daughter.

2. Violet's Birth Story
Sorry, just love to read the birth stories all over again.

3. When Mommy Brain Hits
A little trip into my brain. Ironic, funny, sad??  You decide!

4. I Am Beautiful
On body image and the importance raising our daughters healthy and happy.

5. 3-Hole Devil's Food Cake
A recipe I love to share over and over again. It's easy, vegan, absolutely delicous, and quick to whip up should an unexpected visitor show up on your doorstep (we Germans are all about coffee and cake in the afternoon, it's what hospitality means around here!). ENJOY!!

***********************************

 

House Update - The Struggle Continues...

And here, the "Bog Every Day In May"-challenge has made it on our house journey page, as indeed, it is what we struggle most these days. I am totally aware, that this is most definitely a first world problem, but still, we've gotten ourselves into it, and need to figure it out.

So, a few weeks back, in the end of April, I've had a letter from the district building department in our mailbox. I was cautiously excited, hoping for the building permit (haha, says Murphy). Well, it was a letter telling us that they would reject our application at our expense if we would not recall the application voluntarily because the total squarefootage of the house in relation to the property size (Geschossflaechenzahl, short GFZ in German  --> a bonus point for you if you can pronounce it!) was much above the legal maximum. Ok, panic attack is coming on since I have no idea what the GFZ is and what that means for us. I call our building engineer and learn from his assistant that he is out of the office already and would not be in the next week due to vacation. In the meantime I google all the information and double-check our building application just to notice that about all the info in the application had been entered incorrectly. The size of the property was entered as 120 sqm instead of 164 sqm, and instead of 2 full levels they entered 3, increasing the size of our house by 50%. Come Monday, I call the office again and tell them to contact the architect, who has mastered this piece of work (= building application), and tell him to double-check it. The assistent promises that the issue will be taken care of and that she would call me back on Wednesday at the latest. Well, Wednesday passes, Thursday is a public holiday, so I call back Friday, since the assistant has not called me back as promised. She tells me that she doesn't have any info yet but calls in to check; a minute later she returns with the information that indeed, there were mistakes in the building application (duh!!), but that our building engineer will have to look at it on Monday.

Come Monday, he really calls me, just to ask what the matter was, as the only info he had received was to call me back urgently. I explain him again what had happened and he promises to check and call me back immediately. Indeed, he gave me a call back a few minutes later and confirms that there have been major mistakes but that they will send in the necessary paperwork to correct the matter. More time passes, and the following Monday I call in again, since no-one gives me any info. I learn that my building engineer had had an accident the week before but was now back in the office and would take care of the issue. This night we received two pages with correction to sign as appendix to the building application, which we return immediately. However, when I called the district building department to confirm that everything is fine now, I learn that indeed no paperwork has been received to correct the matter, and that another minor issue has, as well, not been taken care of. Pretty annoyed I call our building engineer again to ask what the matter was. He informs me that the case worker has been on vacation and will take care of the matter in person as to not having to take the "official" route.

So I hope that tomorrow, we will finally learn that everything has been figured out and corrected. Keeping fingers crossed and knocking the heck out of all the wood around me, trying to keep Murphy at bay. Richard and I have asked ourselves multiple times if there was any way out of the whole matter, but of course there's none. Too much money has been spent already, so the only way to go for us is forward. We know that once the house is actually built and we have moved in, the struggles we're facing now will not matter any more, but right now, we're at a point where we're not even looking forward to owning a house any more. All he stress, issues, and obstacles we've faced so far before even a single worker has set foot on our property to start building has taken the fun out of it all. Had we known 9 months ago what we know now, we've never even set foot on the path of building our own home but waited until the right house had popped up on the market; yes, buying an existing house would have been a lot more expensive in terms of fees and taxes, but it would have saved us a lot of nerves and stress on the way.

**********************************

Being Ugly

Today's prompt at the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge: Tell a story from your childhood.

Well, do you remember when you have felt ugly for the first time? I hope you never have, but seriously, most of you who will read this are girls, and I suppose the large majority of us has felt ugly at one or the other time during our lives. I do remember this moment quite vividly... I was 5 years old, as old as Lily today. We've had a picture day in kindergarten, I had been so excited. I had been allowed to dress up in a skirt and blouse, and we were going to the gallery in the newly-built wing of the kindergarten to have our picture taken. The photographer fixed my hair, and I posed. I felt pretty, and it was exciting.

A few weeks later, we got the pictures back to take home so our parents could select which ones they would purchase. I saw how my mom's jaw dropped and she frowned when she looked at my pictures. And then the bomb went off: she said, she didn't like the pictures and wouldn't get any of mine. They picked several of my pretty sister's pictures, but none of mine. I asked my mom why, and she said that she didn't like them, she didn't like how the photographer combed my hair in a side part and didn't like how I looked in it. I remember how I begged her to buy at least one of my pictures. She did, at last, pick one of my pictures. And I felt ugly for the first time in my life.

Today, this picture is still hanging in my parent's staircase. It is one of the few pictures of me as a child that I actually like, because I look like a girl, not like a boy, who occasionally wears girl's clothes. But the picture also always makes me remember how I felt back then, a quarter of a century ago, and I know that I will never hurt my girls like that!

***************************************

How I Love Them!

For today's "Blog Every Day in May" challenge I'd like to share a favorite picture of myself with you!

This picture was taken in early December, at 7 months pregnant with our Lily. It was such an exciting but also stressful time. I was working a full-time job, studied for my second Bachelor's Degree, and grew a little baby inside me. At this point, we did not know that only a couple months later we would have a daughter.

I had been struggling with my body for such a long time, battling various eating disorder since being a teenager. My husband was worried about me getting pregnant and having to deal with the weight gain, how I would take the changes in my body. Shall I tell you something? I loved it! I loved seeing the changes and how pregnancy and birth has shaped my body. I'm not all firm anymore, the six-pack is gone, but I enjoy my new curves, knowing how my body was remolded carrying those beautiful little girls in it.

********************************

My Today...

Today, Jenni's "Blog Every Day in May" challenge asks me to describe a typical day of my life (including pictures).

Well, I've already blogged about my typical day as a mom with a career, and also a not-so-typical day, when I took a day off to head down to Munich with the whole family to celebrate Violet's birthday.

So, what's really left to tell you?  Maybe a not-so-typical day at work?

Today, instead of getting up, running to get ready and run out the door to catch my bus, I took my sweet time to get ready, had breakfast, put out the girls' outfits for kindergarten, did Lily's hair, filed a whole bunch of paperwork that was lying all over the house, prepared some healthy kindergarten lunch (about which they both complained tonight), and around 45 minutes after my usual time, I idled out the door, because today was not a typical work day, since my colleague and I were heading out to the big city to meet people at the headquarters (therefore: no pictures!!).

That's where I was today! (Source)

We had a lot of fun, meet nice people, and gathered all the information we had come into headquarters for, and then some. I got back home a little later than usual, around 6:15. We had dinner together, Richard had prepared an awesome Spanish cream spinach tortilla that even the girls loved. After dinner, we headed out to the playground for some fun time before bathtime and bed. Right now, the hubby is putting the DVD in for a little spontaneous movie night, so off I am.

PS: Can you guess where I was today??

*************************************

Oh Happiness...

Jenni at Story Of My Life asks today to share 10 things that make me very happy. Nothing better to make my day than thinking about things that make me happy.. Here it goes:

1. My family.. All three of them!!

2. The first colored leaves in fall (Source: Forestfoliage)

3. The first green leaves of spring (Source: Wikipedia)

4. The smell of a summer shower (Source: Crimsoncorvus)

5. The first snow in winter (Source: Noworkday)

6. A great book (Source: Phlmetropolis)

7. Watching a new episode of Doctor Who with the hubby (Source: Telegraph UK)

8. An afternoon with good friends and good wine (Source: Etsystatic)

9. The sparkling in the girls' eyes when the see the Yule tree for the first time.

10. Weekends!!

What makes YOU really happy??

********************************

Me In 10 Words

Today's cue at Jenni's Blog Every Day In May challenge is: Sell yourself in 10 words.. At this point, I will give theword to someone, who might (or might not) be a little more constructive on that issue than me: the Mister. He complained about having to do that a fair share, and his complaining caused a lot of laughter on both of our sides, but in between nagging about the task, he came up with the following (with his comments in parentheses):

- smart

- OCD

- blond (naturally)

- dedicated

- overworked (but you do that to yourself)

- nerd

- nice ass

- asthetically pleasing (not to say "pretty")

- honest

- tolerant (of my excentricities)

Love my hubby!!

PS: The hubby wants to point out that there is much more to a person than just 10 words, and that he is not a fan of today's cue. Duly noted, sir!  :-)

**********************************

Breathe...

Jenni's Blog Every Day In May challenge tells me to hand out a piece of advice.

Well, the advice I meditate over the most in the last months and maybe even years is: Change what you can, accept what you can't.

I am a control freak. I only feel safe when I feel in control. All my life I have been in a safe place, everything was laid out for me months in advance. By the time I graduated high school, I already had my acceptance for college while many of my class mates were still wondering what to do and just starting to apply to universities. Several weeks before class started, I had signed the lease for my apartment. Well, the first time this changed was, when I met Richard and we were making plans to get married. We were not able to set a date because we had no idea when his paperwork would arrive from the States. To be honest, I'm surprised to this date that he actually followed through marrying me, taking all the tantrums I threw into consideration. Well, it is common knowledge that we did get married at the end.

Uncertainties followed regarding the visa; until a couple of days before his departure it was not sure whether I would be able to go with him or if we had to separate for a few weeks until my visa was done. Tantrum-time! The few months leading up to becoming pregnant with Lily.. I put my poor husband through a lot of stress, I freely admit. His getting out of the Army, our move to Washington State without a job or any other real prospects with a little baby. Becoming pregnant unplanned when I couldn't imagine it the least to expand the family. Giving up our lives and moving to Germany, again without any jobs with a toddler and a newborn baby. And now, the house, our current bane.

During the last 7 years I have learned the importance of this advice. There is no benefit in panicking and wasting energy on things that are beyond my power to control. Yes, it still bothers me and sends me into the occasional panic attack, but I am getting better. I have ayquired skills to ground me if panic is sweeping me away, mostly breathing techniques and meditation, and focusing on things I am indeed able to control.

**********************************

Of Fear, Love, And Trivial Things

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I have been off work today for a bunch of appointments; the highlight of the day, maybe even the week so far, was having a little breakfast date with the hubby. The kids were in kindergarten and the two of us had some time before our first appointment, so we sat down in a little cafe and had breakfast together, loved it!

This brings me right to the point of today's cue at Jenni's Blog Every Day in May blog challenge: The thing(s) I'm most afraid of.

It might sound stupid and worn off, but my greatest fear in life is anything happening to my family. Richard is the love of my life, my partner, my rock, and my friend. And the girls.. There aren't no words to describe my love for them. They are truly a part of me and I couldn't imagine a single day without them. There was a n incident when I almost lost our oldest, Lily. It was the worst experience of my life, and it would break me losing any one of those three. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes, because the pain is just so unbearable just to think about it.

I'm also afraid of not being able to always provide for them. I'm a planner, and if variables are involved that I have no control over, I panic. I know that most of the time, my fear is mostly unfounded, but I love my family so much, I always want to be able to take care of them.

On a more trivial note, I'm afraid of:
- cockroaches and large spiders
- hights
- white sharks
- the dark after I've watched a scary movie
- tornadoes, but only after I've seen one coming right at us in Manhattan, KS in 2008; the baby destroyed
  parts of town, but luckily missed us (had no shelter).

**********************************************

More Than Just My Job

Today's cue at Jenni's "Blog Every Day In May"- challenge is: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question "what do you do"?

Well, from the time I was about 14 or 16 years old, I've never just "worn one hat". I've been a student and tutor, or waitress, or bar tender, or translator, once even a nude model for a drawing class. Once I entered the workforce, I've been an employee and a wife, shortly after also a student on top of it. But my favorite tag besides my 40-hours per week job that pays my bills is being a wife and a mom.

I love to do nerdy stuff with my husband and chase our girls around outside. I love to go swimming, to the playground, or a theme park with the entire family. I love to watch the girls draw a picture or play a game with them; and yes, I do love just cuddling them on the couch reading a book or watching a movie with them.

 I’m also a writer – sometimes. My life is definitely not boring and I certainly could use a few more hours in my day.

*****************************************

I'm A Fan!

 Today's cue for the Blog every Day in May challenge is to show love for our favorite blogger out there. There are so many wonderful bloggers out there, and I read your posts, even though I might not always have the time to comment. Anyways, I couldn't cut it down to one, but I would like to express my public appreciation for two amazing bloggers out there:

First, I would like to say thank you to Jessica at The Wondering Brain. Jessica does it all, and makes it look like a breeze. She's a mother, wife, employee, PhD-student, and blogger. I'm sure she has found the secret to adding at least 12 more hours to her day, or she's just so much better than I am managing it all. I have done full-time job plus college, newborn plus college, and full-time job plus family, but never family, work, and school at the same time. And on top of all of that being a very active and involved blogger. You have my fullest admiration, Jessica!

Second, I would like to express my love to Jen at The Adventures Of Our Army Life. Jen is an Army wife, supporting her husband and the unit by being an active member (and soon to be leader) of her Family Readiness Group (FRG), which is a support and information group for the spouses and dependents of the soldiers (for those who never had any affiliation with the military). Something I admire about Jen more than anything else is her positive outlook. She's struggling with repeated miscarriages, but doesn't give up. I remember back when Richard and I were trying to have a baby, and each month (all two we were unsuccessful) I was just a total wreck. Jen is such a strong person, who I adore beyond anything. I know that she and her husband will be successful at the end, because she's a fighter. I'm such a fan of her, because she shows me every day what a wimp I am and that I, too, can get beyond my issues, because if she can smile through her struggles, I can as well, since my issues are so much smaller than hers.

*********************************************

Words, Words, Words

I am a lover of words, and language. Even though I have ended up working in the financial sector (my high school math teacher will draw up a formula within minutes how long it will take me to calculate my company into the ground, if she knew...), I am a translator at heart. Right after high school, I went to college and studied to be a translator and interpreter. Unfortunately, I have never really worked in this field. One of my friends is my best client, even though I have never taken a single dime from her (I'd never accept money from one of my best friends, but babysitting is fair!).

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" - I wouldn't sign that. Everyone who has ever been a victim to mental abuse or bullying will tell you, that words can be a very vicious weapon. When it comes to being a translator or interpreter, you become a gateway, not only between two languages, but sometimes also between two cultures, however slight their differences may seem. In general, the realm of the translator is the written word, while the interpreter's world is the spoken word. Are there any other avid watchers of the "Game of Thrones" series? If so, you might be just watching season three, which has a wonderful example of an interpreter: the slave girl Missandei interprets for her master, the slaver Kraznys mo Nakloz, to sell Unsullied to the Targaryan princess Danaerys. The slaver doesn't even try to hide his disdain for Danaerys, while Missandei relays his message in a respectful manner, not knowing that Danaerys understands the slaver's every word. Professionally, her interpreting would have been quite a far stretch, even though both as a translator as well as an interpreter, I have tremendous power. Under each and every one of my translations, I certify that I have translated the original document true and to my best ability, and I have alwas done so. However, there is something beyond simple words, there is the tone, which we can steer sometimes from one end of a sprectrum to the other. Sometimes I wondered whether there have been wars started or prevented by interpreters, what their input was in the rise and fall of corporations, but since most of these negotiations happen behind closed doors, we might never know.

To end my little trip into the land of language, I'd like to share with you a little professional joke. This is said to have happened during a business conference in Japan, where a US business man appeared for a panel. As most Americans might do, he started the speech with a little joke. Since this would have been fairly inappropriate in Japanese business culture, the interpreter, instead of relaying the American's joke, he simply told the audience that he speaker is starting with a little joke, which is not funny at all, but the correct response would be to laugh at his sign. The audience cracked up when given the cue and the panel became quite a success.

***********************************************

This was day 2 of the "Blog every day in May" challenge!

That's Me

This is the story of my life, from birth (can't really remember that, or the next few year that follow this event) to today:

I was born on February 25, 1984; it was a leap year, and my grandparents' greatest fear was that I would be born on the 29th. I grew up in small-town Germany and suppose it was quite a normal childhood, apart from the fact that I was a loner. Right in the middle of an infamous party streak, graduated school better than expected and moved out from home to go to college at 19. I studied languages to be a translator and interpreter; I love languages, their dynamics and ideosyncracies (maybe I'm just in love with words in general, since I've been an avid reader since I've learned how to read). When I was 21, my life changed profoundly, when I met my fuure husband. Five months later we were married and another three months after that, just two days after graduating college, we were on our way to our new life in the US. I was an Army wife for a little over 2 years, when my husband chose me and our newborn daughter over the military and quit his service. We moved to our home-at-heart, Seattle but after finding out that we expected another baby, we decided to move back to Germany for the benefit of our family. I found a job with the company I've always dreamed of working for within weeks of our arrival. It's been three years, and we've become settled and building our home here. I guess we've finally arrived.

Blog Every Day In May Challenge

I have come across this blog challenge on a couple of other blogs I read on a regular basis. It was created by Jenni at Story of My Life:

Here are the rules and daily cues, copied and pasted from Jenni's post:

Here are the rules:

1. There really aren't any rules. If you miss a day, you can make it up or skip it. The blog police will not come knocking.

2. I will be including a linkup option at the bottom of my post each day, so you are welcome to leave your links here for others to peruse, as well. 

3. You can still post other things every day, too. I plan to do normal outfit posts, life posts, around-Austin posts, and sponsor posts just like usual.

4. I'd seriously love you if you also include the "blog every day in May" button (below) either on your sidebar or at the end of your posts, but again, the blog police will not come knocking. My main goal here is to get us all back to the basics of blogging, not to gain a million new readers (though I wouldn't mind that). 

5. Here are the topics. You can be as creative and awesome or as boring and bland as you like with these. Take 'em and run with it. Use creative post titles. Interpret each "prompt" however you like. There's no wrong way to do it. Have fun.

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)

Day 2, Thursday: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable

Day 4, Saturday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it

Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member

Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 

Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it
Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers

Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory


Since I'm kind of in a pretty bad place mentally these days, I hope that this challenge ties me over until I have pulled myself out of the hole again. Can't take me forever, right? (yes, and afternoon with my friends and some meditation on "happiness" already helped a little).

Come join me in this fun challenge!