Saturday, November 22, 2014

Week in Review - Ten Things Of Thankful (75)


Ten Things of Thankful


Parts of last week I've spent in a blurr. I stood as the world was moving besides me, unable to move with it myself. It's much better now, but the sadness is still underlying.  Thank you everyone for your kind words last week. Opa sure will never be forgotten! 

Still, in all grief, there are many things to be thankful for last week.

1. Getting to attend my grandfather's funeral on Monday as a family. All three kids behaved wonderfully. It was hard for them, especially the part as the gravesite, but it also helped them to express their emotions and process them. And they got to hang out with their cousin afterward.

2. Meeting all of my extended family. There were people I hadn't seen in years. Most I was really happy to see, a couple of others I could have done without, but still.

3. Witnessing once more how many lives my grandfather has touched and how many people have come to honor him and his life. I was most touched by an old childhood friend, who was obviously devastated, and by the veteran's honor guard, where he had also been a member. They offered their last salute and lowered the flag over his grave, it was so solemn.

4. Getting back into a routine.. Somewhat.  I admit that my grandfather's death has caused me plummet into a huge bout of depression. I couldn't sleep at night and dragged all day long. I couldn't do the chores around the house, or support the children properly.I was such a mess, but thankfully got back on trap, wit the support of my much, much better half!

5. My wonderful husband. He is my rock, my love, and my life. In the past week, he has taken over many of my family duties without complaining once. He's been our backbone during my grandfather's funeral and there for me when I needed to talk about my feelings. I could not ever even imagine a better life partner for myself and father for our children.

6. Lily being an ├╝ber-performer in school. During the entire meeting, her teacher had not the slightest negative point to say about her. And we also reached an agreement about the prayer-issue: Besides the quick prayer, in which Lily still won't participate, the teacher will also read a short poem for the Atheist/Agnostic/Secularist/Humanist children so there's something they can participate in as well to start the day with.

7. Calvin being healthy and developing wonderfully. He is around the 75th percentile for both height and weight and has the motor skills of a 6-month old. It seems we have to start baby-proofing soon!

8. A dear friend making me leave the home where I had dug my trenches and go shopping with her. I had a great time and not only found a comfy pair of jeans but also got to dress up my beautiful friend in clothes I could never ever wear because I'm not the Indian queen she is but rather a boring chunk of Swiss cheese, at least in terms of color. I convinced her to try on a shirt that she would have never even taken off the hanger. And not only she but also her husband loved it. I have officially permission from him to go shopping with her again  :-)

9. Officially having neighbors. They arrived on Wednesday night, with all their stuff arriving the following two days. We had them over for dinner twice as their own kitchen wasn't set up yet. It's so exciting not to be living by ourselves in the townhomes any more!  And today, another family moved into the duplex right behind our townhome. It's getting full around here!

10. SKIP (Happy Birthday to him!!!), and Zoe for making my Saturday evenings brighter with sharing tons of pictures of that cute, little, old guy  :-)


Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

28 comments:

  1. I firmly believe children should be at funerals. Especially for family. It does do so much for them to process and understand.

    I am glad you have a friend to help you out of the trenches of depression.

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    1. I totally agree with you, therefore it was important to us that Lily and Violet got to go. It definitely helped in the healing process.

      I am so thankful having my husband and friends who give me a kick in the butt sometimes when I need it most :-)

      I hope you had a wonderful week!

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  2. I, too, think it's good to take kids to funerals. While your pain will last a long, long time, I hope this coming week is easier for you.
    Yay to finding comfortable jeans that fit. That is no easy task! Glad you had someone who knew you enough and wasn't afraid to force you out of the house.
    And neighbors! We don't have any here on the farm. We really do need to start inviting people over more.

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    1. I'm a unrepenting social animal and having people live around me now makes me really happy.

      I was really glad that the kids got to go to the funeral. It helped them understand and their sweetness to others was a great comfort. I am so proud of our girls!

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  3. YAY for neighbours. I do like having neighbours.

    And...the funeral for your Opa sounds really beautiful, what with the flag and the tributes and all of the people who attended. So hard, but so important and in a way a kind of bit healing.

    I'm SO glad the prayer issue with the school got sorted out. Thank goodness.

    YAY NEW CLOTHES! I'm glad your friend pulled you out and made you go :)

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    1. I am truly glad that my friend dragged my butt off the couch and made me get out. It truly helped to get out of the hole for a while.

      The funeral was very, very special, and I am glad that we got to witness it.

      Believe me, I am very happy, too, that I got to talk to the teacher about the issue while previously she avoided talking about it with other parents.

      I hope you had a great week, Lizzi!

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  4. there is a perspective of connectedness, relatedness that seems to show more at funerals than at other family gatherings…
    new house, new neighbors!

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    1. Indeed. But I was also glad that at the get-together after the funeral, the happy mood prevailed mostly. I was glad it was more a celebration of his life than a very subdued affair, as this is how he lived and ths is how he would have wanted it to be.

      We're very thankful for all the new neighbors. Finally, there's life around here ;-)

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  5. I'm very sorry for your loss, and happy that you have new neighbors. It's wonderful that you had them for dinner. I was always that neighbor too. :) And yay, for having a great friend to pull you out of the darkness, if only for a little while.

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    1. Thank you so much for your thoughts! I definitely needed this special friend so much these days. I love her practical personality, her directness, and her way of not indulging me in my mood by being to sympathetic, exactly what I needed :-) We are so excited to have neighbors, finally some life around here!!! Of course we had them over for lunch. They were in the middle of a move without a kitchen and at the end of a crappy day, you need a good warm dinner! We're so looking forward living next to wonderful people like them!

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  6. So many people are opting out of funerals these days and it saddens me. The funeral is for those of us left behind for all the reasons you mention. The coming together as a family, the hearing of stories that amaze and comfort you in loss. I am so glad you got to have that opportunity as you said goodbye. _May@Achieving Clarity

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    1. Thank you so much for your thoughts, May! It was important for us to go, and also allow the girls to say their good-byes. When I was 12, a close family friend died and my parents wouldn't let me go to the funeral; I was really, really upset about it. Sharing in the celebration of his life did make things easier. These days, those little precious memories come up every once in a while and make me smile. Opa was such a special person!

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  7. There is joy that comes from sadness, it is true. All of the things you mention fit there in one way or another. I wish you peace as you continue your journey through this sad time.
    And jeans that fit? And are comfortable? That's huge!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Lisa. It's indeed still a way to go, but I am glad that we can go that way as a family.

      The jeans are comfy and sort of fit, but mostly they are comfy, and that's the important thing :-)

      I hope you had a great week, Lisa!

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  8. Wow New neighbors! How cool! And how sweet are you guys to host dinners? Love #10! Thanks so much ... glad its not just me who is humored by my constant pushing him in everyones faces!
    I am so sorry the loss of your grandad sent you spiraling but am happy to hear there is some recovery... take it slowly it will come... Thinking of you. Z and S (woof)

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    1. Yes, I'm so excited to have people living next door now! I can't wait for all the yards being green and bbqs happening all summer long in a couple of years..

      Thank you for always sharing about sweet little Skip, looking at those pictures definitely lifts my mood each and every time!

      I hope the two of you enjoyed your week, Zoe!

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  9. I know just how you feel about losing your grandfather. There is joy in seeing the whole family together. My husband is also my rock. Nothing like some retail therapy to cure the blues and get your mind off the sadness. Things are looking up for next week.

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    1. It's not so much retail therapy as getting to spend time with this particular friend, She's a lot like me, even more staight forward and direct, and that's what I needed at the time.

      Thanks a lot for stopping by, Val!

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  10. I'm glad you got out of the house for a little girl time.

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  11. I am glad to hear about the prayer issue being sorted. In the whole debate-as nasty as it can get on my side of the fence-I wonder about kids who don't fit in that plan. They deserve recognition too. That is part of tolerance, how to appreciate differences and move forward together. The solution makes my heart glad.

    I am so sorry about your Grandpa. It sounds like your grieving was in a safe place and full of love-outside of the few family you'd rather not see. Having the kids there is wonderful.

    Retail therapy! 'Nuff said.

    Thinking healing thoughts for you this week as you walk through the blue clouds.

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    1. Thank you so much for your thoughts, Rebecca! I am also very glad that the teacher decided to make a step in our direction. Lily said that now, each morning after the prayer (in which she is not participating), the kids take the hand of the kid next to them and wish each other a wonderful day. I think this is very appropriate and a nice gesture.

      It was so important to us to take the kids to the funeral. Even though the concept of death is still fairly abstract to them, it was helpful to say their good-byes. During the service, sweet, kind little Violet klimbed on her grandma's lap and hugged her to make her feel better. She's such a special little girl!

      I really appreciate your thoughts so very much, Rebecca. Thank you!

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  12. I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather and I do hope your family helps bring you peace. The first funeral my children ever attended was for my father in law almost five years ago. I think it helped them just a little bit to understand, to say goodbye, and to see how loved he was. I know it's a hard, hard thing. I'm grateful to your friend for pulling you out of the trenches as well. It's good to have friends that will do that.

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  13. I love seeing several people mention Skip in their post. He's so cute! I'm so happy that you have your amazing husband and that your week had some thankfuls in it despite your sadness. You seem to be doing so well. I know it will get better and better for you. I'm glad the kids were well behaved at the funeral. :)

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  14. While funerals are sad occasions, they do tend to bring extended family together. It can be therapeutic to remember, laugh, and cry together. Be patient with yourself as you grieve.

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  15. I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I too plummeted into a depression after my grandmother had passed. She had meant the world to me. I am glad that your husband is stepping in without complaint and is just doing both jobs of husband and "wife" (I don't know how else to say that).
    Hold on to to those wonderful memories as you go through the grieving process. The pain will lessen over time. It won't go away, but it will lessen. xoxox

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  16. Love this and definitely relate to so many. And so sorry for your loss friend.

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    1. Thank you so much, Sarah! It's slowly getting better, and I so need to get to start on the picture book. Hope to find some among my parents' pictures as well that I can add .

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