Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Do They Believe?

It's that time of the year, the season of coziness, of baking, and cooking, and eating, of getting together and enjoying each other’s company cocooned in our warm homes as the end of the year (and the dark season at the winter solstice on December 25 according to the Julian calendar) approaches.

It's the time of the year for our children to leave through toy magazines, stroll by the displays in the mall, and meeting Santa to tell them their wishes for the holidays.

Well, now it happened that Santa (or Saint Nick) visited Lily and Violet’s kindergarten to give them some chocolate santas and listen to their songs. When I came home from work Friday night, a slightly annoyed Lily met me at the door, complaining that they weren’t visited by the ACTUAL Santa, but it was only Manuel, their intern, in disguise. Violet, at the same time swore that the REAL Santa had visited her class.

A few years ago, when Lily was born, Richard and I discussed how to handle Santa, the German “Christkind”, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy in the future. We strongly believe not to lie to children. On the other hand, we both remember fondly the years of being excited about the respective figures coming to visit at their appointed time. So we decided to let things go. To let them make their own experiences. To think for themselves what to believe in and what not. We do not heavily support either way, even though we are known to mention Santa or the Tooth Fairy on occasion.

I'm not sure yet how the experience with the false Santa  has affected Lily. We’re definitely going to make the wish lists and put them out for Santa to find. There will the customary “T’was the night before Christmas” good-night story on the 24th. I know my parents will arrive with gifts that the “Christkind” has left at their house for the kids, and the in-laws will inquire on what Santa left for them under the tree.

Sometimes I think that they still believe in Santa and co. because they want to, not because they are deep-down convinced that they exist (except the Tooth Fairy, how else could possibly this coin have ended up under Lily’s pillow??). I don’t think there will ever be a “Santa isn’t real” talk at home; whenever they ask us whether they exist, we answer with the question “what do YOU” think?”, and leave it with that, because most of the time, they give themselves the best answers anyway.

Do your children still believe in Santa and friends? Do you support it or leave it up to them what to believe?

10 comments:

  1. Right now my girls totally still believe, but last year my brother dressed up as Santa for the girls and Emma told me when she saw a picture recently that this was indeed Uncle Michael helping out the real Santa. So, I think she believes, but she then again recognizes a fake one (in the form of her uncle) if that happens to show up in her line of vision.

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    1. With Lily being the smartie-butt she is, I bet she'll figure out sooner rather than later. But I enjoy the magic as long as it lasts :-)

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  2. This would be PERFECT for the carnival!!!!

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    1. I thought so, too :-) Please include it, Karen!! It was fun to see that you had a guest post on a similar issue on your blog yesterday :-)

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  3. Yeah, my family always did "Santa" but, at the same time, I always really knew he didn't exist. I think I had the best of both worlds.

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    1. I'm actually pretty sure that at least Lily doesn't REALLY believe in Santa any more either.. She sees the boxes and gifts arrive, and suddenly, they are gone. But being somewhat in between believing and knowing the truth is actually fun, too! Thanks for sharing, Susannah!

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  4. We are just entering the phase of our girls starting to grasp the concept of Christmas, Santa and the rest. I don't remember believing in Santa, but then again, I don't remember the day I stopped believing, either. I think I'll follow my parents lead of letting the "spirit" of Santa exist, as we got presents on Christmas morning until my mom died. It was the spirit of giving that I loved, and I don't think knowing if there was a real dude or not made much difference.

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    1. I remember believing in the German version of Santa, and when the doubts came, and eventually when my parents told me what I had already knew: that the Christkind didn't exist. We definitely enjoy the spirit, even though we're grown up, and we enjoy sharing the spirit with the girls :-)

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  5. I'm not sure how we will handle it bc AJ is still so young. But I think that he will get one or two presents from Santa and the rest from us as to not put too much emphasis on "the lie".

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    1. We leave it open a lot for Lily and Violet. But they have seen the boxes and envelopes arrive and disappear with a "that's nothing" in our room. The gifts have tags on them who sent what, and we read those to them. It's definitely a big in-between for us here, but kids are creative, they make up their little fantasy worlds without our help, and that is fine!

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