Saturday, November 15, 2014

Ten Things Of Thankful (74)


Ten Things of Thankful


I'm starting this post of thankfuls in a very, very sad note. I received a phone call from my mom today informing me that my dear Grandpa (Opa) has passed away this afternoon. I am still too overwhelmed to feel anything but emptiness. I know that, as usual, this piece of news will need its time to sink in and I will not be able to grief this loss until later.

Right now, I am simply thankful of having had the opportunity to have my Opa in my life for so long.My parents' grandparents had all died when they were still young children, so I do see the privilege of having my Opa in our lives until well into my adulthood.

I am beyond thankful that he got to meet our three children. As his general condition was fast deteriorating, I was not sure if he would ever meet his youngest great-grandchild. But he did not only get to meet Calvin but also all three of his other great-grandchildren being born between March and August of this year.

I am thankful for all the fond memories he is part of. The huge family meetings for the winter holidays or in spring at my grandparens' place; I was always lookign forward to these for weeks, because it meant seeing everyone together again.

I am thankful that besides his upbringing (he was 16 when WWII ended, so I don't think I have to go into detail), Opa came to love and respect my husband for the wonderful person he is. I admit, I was scared of hsi reaction when I told him that I was engaged to be married to an American. I knew his point of view; still, he has welcomed my husband into the family with open arms.

I am thankful for my Opa having always kept his inner child alive. It was fun even when we were teenagers searching for the Easter nests in my grandparents' huge garden. Yes, even when he was in his 70s, he insisted that my grandma hid a nest for him as well.

I am thankful that I was home to see him a few times when his condition became very serious. When my other grandpa suddenly died back in March of 2010, I was sitting 9 months pregnant half a world away; to this day, I have not found the place to grief for this loss. Maybe this will be the chance to work everything up now, or maybe the grief for my other grandpa will always remain penned up deep inside me.

I cannot tell yet, but no matter how this will go, I am thankful for the time in the last weeks we got to sped with him. He was so happy to see us each time we stopped by, even though our visits were very strenuous for him, he never complained.

I am so thankful that I truly got to know this wonderful man. He had his standards that he put high and lived up to. But he was not too proud to change his look on things. He has worked hard all his life; he loved his family, especially the children. I remember several times when he took us to his smithy. He had a very old anvil placed on the stump of an ancient oak tree; he would light a fire in the forge and heat a peace of iron until it was white-hot; he then would wield a hammer of a size you cannot imagine and work a little horse-shoe shape out of it. It was the greatest thing in the world when I was a child.

I am thankful for having spent the occasional weekend with him. I remember this one time, he made us sweep the huge center yard for him. I was about 14, and the least thing I had on my mind on a Saturday afternoon was spending a couple of hours sweeping the yard. But he was so convincing, making it sound like so much fun, that I simply could not bring myself to tell him no. Yes, he was that good!!!

And finally, I am thankful that I am there to bide him fare-well properly. I have no experience with funerals, and I feel totally helpless. I will have to go shopping for jackets at least for Violet if not both girls, and maybe even a skirt for myself, even though the last thing I want to do right now is shopping. But I get to be there, look at him one last time, meet everyone in the family again, share stories about him and his life and will hear new ones. It will probably be heartbreaking, but also comforting at the same time.

I wish you all the best weekend! If you have a grandparent alive, do me a favor and visit or call them this weekend!

32 comments:

  1. Oh, Stephanie Im so sorry for this loss... your Opa sounds truly wonderful. I hope you find your time surrounded by family and sharing in his memory to be a real comfort.

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    1. Thank you so much, Zoe! I feel like the most heartless person managing to go on with my life, but truly hope to be able to face my emotions with my family in Monday.

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  2. It is so very sad when someone so important in our live passes on -- even though they were given a long life. Yes. Be thankful you had such a wonderful relationship.

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    1. I know that he has had a long and good life. He got to watch 6 of his 8 grandchildren reach adulthood and have children by themselves, 9 total. Still I wished he had lived a few more year to get to know Calvin better and see the girls continue to grow. Still, I have no right to complain. Thank you so much for stopping by!

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  3. Oh Stephanie, I am so so sorry for your loss. Truly. I am very happy for you though that your children got to meet your Opa and that you have such wonderful memories of him in your heart. He sounds like a special man who loved you and your family. Beautiful thank you post. I'll be thinking of you as you navigate your grieving process and sending virtual hugs to you and your entire family.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kristi! Today was his funeral and it really helped to be surrounded by family, sharing about his life. I truly believe that the experience helped the girls. I think it helped me with the process, but personally I still have quite a way to go. But I am thankful to have my wonderful husband by my side, who truly supports me!

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  4. I am so sorry to hear about your Opa, Stephanie. But this list shows that his was a life well lived and that he was well loved. Peace to all of you.

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    1. Thank you so much, Lisa!! Today was the funeral, and Richard told Lily: Look at all the people here to bid him farewell! It shows how many lives he has touched and that he had lived a very rich life. I couldn't have said it in a better way! I hope you have a great week, Lisa!

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  5. Ohhhh now I see how poignant your comment to me was, and yes - I'm hugely glad that I went to visit my Grandad. I didn't realise that the loss of your Opa was so recent :( I'm so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful man, and I love the descriptions of your times with him when you were growing up. It takes a truly incredible personality to get a teenager to sweep a yard for him AND make it seem like a good idea. Huge kudos to him for that :)

    I hope that the funeral goes well, and yes - it will be so sad, but you'll also enjoy sharing stories about him with your family, and maybe learn a few things you never knew before about his life, which will be fascinating and lovely. I think you'll feel close to him on that day.

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    1. Thank you, Lizzi! Well, I didn't think for a minute that it was a good idea sweeping hte yard, but he conveyed it in a way that not even a teenager could say no :-) He sure was a very special man.

      The funeral was a good experience, most of the town was there to bid him farewell. The most touching moment was the former soldiers' organization saluting him and lowering their flag.

      I hope you still get to make many good memories with your grandparents, Lizzi!

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  6. Stephanie, I am seriously so sorry reading this and can tell you I no longer have any of my grandparents. My dad's mom (grandmother) passed away when I was only 18 months old, but his dad (my grandfather) passed away when I was 20 years old and then a year later my mom's dad (my grandfather) left us. The only grandparent that made it to my 30s was my mom's mom (my grandmother). She actually got to meet Emma, but passed on a month before I got pregnant with Lily. So, my heart truly goes out to you and admit I still feel a whole at times from these loses. Hugs to you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, too.

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    1. Thank you so much, Janine! And I am truly sorry for your losses! I know how lucky I am that I got to have my grandfathers with me for so long (my dad's father died a few weeks before Violet was born), and I am especially thankful that I got to say good-bye to him

      Have a wonderful week, Janine!

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  7. It is so hard to deal with the loss of someone you love so much. What a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. May your wonderful memories sustain you during the grieving process.

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    1. Thank you so much, Val! Opa had obviously written a timeline of his life, supported with anecdotes at times, and a part of it was read at the funeral. His last words proofed again that he was prepared and ready to go, which is a consolation even though it is still so hard.

      I hope you have a great week, and thank you for stopping by!

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  8. I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds as if he left behind many rich memories for his family to cherish.

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    1. Thank you so much, Vanessa! He definitely left many, many good memories behind; all the people coming to his funeral to bid their fare-well today was proof for this!

      Have a wonderful week, and thank you for stopping by!

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss, Stephanie. I love what you wrote about him, especially about him welcoming your husband. I think it is a mark of a great person that he can challenge his own prejudices in older age when many people's prejudices become stronger set. How lucky your whole family was to have him!

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    1. Thank you, Sarah! I was really relieved when he welcomed my then fiancé into the family. It always filled my heart when I saw how much he loved our children and I am so happy that he still got to meet Calvin. He hasn't been well for a while but held out to see all 4 babies in the family be born and meet them. I cannot ask for anything more.

      Have a wonderful week, Sarah!

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  10. My heart breaks for you! I am so very sorry.

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    1. Thank you so much, Jen! I believe I'm still a little in denial, feeling so out of it. It will be a difficult holiday season this year, but we will try and fill it with the wonderful memories we have.

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  11. I am so sorry to hear this. Love and light to you!

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    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your thoughts! Have a great new week!

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  12. Oh Stephanie, I'm so sorry to hear this news. It isn't easy to lose a grandparent, especially one as wonderful as yours. We do have to keep remembering the good times and be grateful for their long lives. It is fantastic that he was able to meet and enjoy so many great-grandchildren.

    Funerals are hard, for sure. Going out to purchase clothes for a funeral is bizarre. Bryan's grandpa died while we were on vacation a few years ago. We went straight to our hometown and had to buy clothes for the entire family the day before the funeral. It didn't seem like it could possibly be real.
    We buried my aunt just a couple of weeks ago. I still catch myself thinking about which day I'll be able to visit with her when we go home for Thanksgiving.
    You will grieve when you grieve. There's no statute of limitations on it.
    My thoughts will be with you this week.

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    1. Thank you so much, Christine! I read your story of your last visit with your aunt knowing that we won't have Opa with us for too much longer. Still, his death caught me off-guard, because my mom had just told me a few days earlier that he was doing better. We are indeed incredibly thankful for his long life and that he got to meet so many of his great-grandchildren.

      I will keep you in my thoughts as well as you are still grieving the loss of your aunt, Christine!

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  13. I'm sorry for your loss. Your Opa sounds like a wonderful man. May you find peace and joy in the memories.

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    1. Thank you, Kristi! Opa was indeed a wonderful person, who had so much love for his family. I am incredibly thankful for all those memories, because in the end, this is all that is left.

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  14. So sorry to hear about your grandpa. It sounds like he was a very great man. I'm glad you got a chance to spend as much time with him as you did and that he got to meet your kids, too. I hope the coming weeks and years get easier and that your grieving won't be too difficult.

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    1. Thank you, Brittnei! He was such a wonderful person, it's difficult to realize that he is gone. I feel as if all of my being is in "damage control mode", as I still have not really realized yet what has happened I believe. At the same time, I feel like I'm not really there all the time. It will sinply take time, I think.

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  15. Stephanie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your opa was obviously a wonderful man, or you wouldn't have such delightful memories of him. Funerals are never enjoyable, except for seeing many old friends and family, but he wouldn't want you to be endlessly sad. I always find my best place to grieve is alone in my car or in the shower. I can cry and cry and get it out of my system with no one around.
    Big hugs to you, Stephanie. Love on those children and know how he enjoyed seeing them.

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    1. Thank you so much, Dyanne! Unfortunately, I'm never alone in the car these days, and in the shower I'm rarely in the mood to just let the emotions wash over me. But I'll find my time and place when it's right. It was a very nice funeral; obviously, during the service, Violet climbed on my mom's lap to console her. Again she proved that she's just such a beautiful, sensitive little girl who instinctively knows what people need. So thankful for both of our girls!!

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    1. Thanks a lot, Steph. We're getting back into a routine, as hard as it may be..

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