I really hate the situation I find myself right now, with my daughter hurting and me not being able to help her. Richard and I have the agreement not to lie to the girls (ok, maybe Santa and the Easter Bunny don't count) but to raise them to be aware of the world around them and reality.
Lily is just about to turn 5, and very much aware of the things going on around her. Tonight, while we cuddled after her good-night story, she turned to me with a very sad face, telling me she thinks that her grandmas don't love her because they don't care about her. Here I am, baffled... What am I to tell her? I tried my best to comfort her, telling her that her grandmas live a distance away and are very busy, but that they still love her.
I am not sure if she believed me; I even did not believe myself... The situation is, safe to say, difficult. We live a continent away from one set of grandparents and about one hour by car from the other, and both sets of grandparents have their priorities, which is the welfare of their other grandchildren. Even when we still lived in the U.S., the American grandparents never cared much for the girls, because they are girls, because they are mine, because they are half-foreigners, I don't know. I could never wrap my head around how someone could reject such a perfectly sweet little girl as Lily is. She never got the presents, she never got the attention, she never got the love as her cousins did. We moved to Germany and hoped to receive more support from my parents, but nothing has changed. Lily and Violet are still second fiddle, if that. It hurts me so much I want to scream. These little girls are my everything, and it is my duty to protect them. but how to protect them if it is not within my power to change anything? I always try to help them focus on all the people who love them so very much, even though we are not blood-related to them. But still, Lily starts to feel the resentment from the people she's related to, and before much longer, Violet will notice it, too.
What to do? I cannot just cut ties, even though it hurts me so much to see how my family is treated. Can you believe that a mother tells her son, who's calling for New Year "well, I cannot talk to you, we're about to head out and buy a birthday cake for our grandson"? At the same time they send him a birthday card that more than bluntly hinted that he should call his parents more often?
I've been running in circles over this issues for years, and I am honestly quite tired of it, but still no solution in sight...