5 A.M. Revelations

Our queen-sized bed we bought as newlyweds is getting crowded these days, with not only Violet occupying her due space after her 4-5 a.m. feeding, but also Lily claiming her place around 5 a.m. Lying there, half awake, with our two little girls in between Richard and me, my mind started wandering.

I started thinking about how our lives have changed over the last 4 years since we've bought this bed. I remember the day we went out to buy our first bedroom set, after having just signed the lease for our first apartment and bought our first car. We had been married for about 4 months and wanted a queen-sized bed so we could sleep closer to each other. About 18 months later, Lily joined our family. We trained her to sleep in her own bed from the beginning; I simply couldn't sleep with her in the bed, too scared to roll over her or suffocate her in the pillows; but we established the rule that she could be in our bed after sunrise. I remember those early days as a family of three, when we would sleep in until 10 a.m. with Lily sleeping in between us after her early morning feeding, and we thought life couldn't be more perfect. A move half-way across the country and another 2 years later, we were a family of four. A few months back, Lily had started to crawl in bed with us in the early morning to cuddle and sleep another hour or so. Now, we share the very same bed with our two girls, and can't wait to buy a bed that will actually accommodate our growing family so that Richard and I have more than 3 inches on the far sides of the bed to balance on while the girls occupy the middle.

Thinking about the "history" of our bed while watching the girls sleep peacefully like little angels, I realized, that this bed held everything that is important to me in this world. Everything outside this bed at that moment didn't matter. As long as our family is together, nothing can get to us. In the last 6 or so months we had to make some difficult decisions and faced a lot of criticism and aversion because of them. But all this has only made us stronger. We are sure that our decisions are the right ones for our family, and no-one could have made those decisions for us. Over that time we have learned who our real family and friends are, and who only accepts us on conditions. Some of these revelations have been painful, but only confirmed us that we chose the right path. We are looking forward to the future and all the changes we have ahead of us.