One
issue has been causing me headaches for a while: why does the society
not accept that men are indeed capable of taking care of kids – and
taking care of them very well at that?
We have a very good friend back in the states, a young man in his
early twenties. He’s been babysitting Lily when she wasn’t even 2 years
old so we could have an adult date out before baby no. two had her big
day. Whenever we came visit, he spent time
with Lily, playing with her and watching her shows with her. Last year
when we were back for a visit, he even took care of both girls all day
long while we were out on a group date. When we came home we found them
laying in a pillow fort on the floor in front
of the TV, one girl being cuddled up in each of his arms, and the dog at
his feet.
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| Violet and Thomas |
Why is it that a guy can be a psychologist, therapist, or a coach
but not a primary care-giver? An increasing number of children are
growing up without ever having a proper male figure in their lives. I
strongly belief that it is important that children,
both boys and girls, have male and female role models in their lives
(not necessarily as a traditional family, since I equally support family
rights for same-sex couples).
We have had to face prejudice from different areas of our
environment about having Richard be the one who is primarily raising the
girls. There are voices who would prefer them being in day-care of
pre-school for 10 hours every day rather than spending
most of their day with their dad. Back in the States, Richard did rarely
dare to take Lily out by himself, fearing she’d have a melt-down when
leaving the mall or a playground and being arrested (which is not
unheard of!).
Why does society expect that women are the natural care-givers
while men have to be the ones to go out and earn the family living? Why
are men not allowed to take care of children, whether they are their own
or in a professional environment such as nannies,
day-care employees, and pre-school teachers? Why is it considered
unnatural or sick if men enjoy playing and spending time with babies,
toddlers, and pre-schoolers? There is diversity out there, which also
includes diversity in human nature and interests; this
should be embraced rather than shunned!
And yes, I am gladly writing a recommendation for this wonderful
young man on a quest to break the mold and work with little children.
My brother in law is a stay at home Dad and he is wonderful! My sister works full time and things work out great. :) She stayed home for the first 6 years and now the roles reversed. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful! Kudos to your brother-in-law; the kids will be glad for it at some point. Spending time with them is the most precious gift to our kids, and it's important to them that both parents are present and involved.
DeleteWow......Does it matter the gender? I mean really. Although I havent seen or heard of a male being a pre-school teacher. But to me it shouldnt matter. As long as they care about the kids and do their job like they are suppose to it shouldnt matter. No need in being sexist and discriminating against men. That's non-sense. That's about like saying a Woman cant do a job that people think only men can do. A woman can do anything a man does if she really wants to.
ReplyDeleteWell, to the people hiring, yes. He was told by the owner of a day-care he approached for an internship that she couldn't give him one because the parents might be uncomfortable with a male intern. Sorry?? As you say, this is discrimination. Yes, women can do all the jobs men can do (or are supposed to), but men are still discriminated against. No, not every man who loves to work with little children is a perv. Maybe, just maybe he's a very kind-hearted, patient man who enjoys playing with and teaching little kids, and that's a great thing!
DeleteI hope that your friend gets to follow his dream. It is sad that in this day and age men are still viewed with suspicion if they want to actively spend time with children.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Lily has had a male intern the second year in a row in kindergarten (we're in Germany), and I am glad that there are young men who are interested in this profession. My friend studied to be an elementary school teacher; she said she met about 3 or 4 guys in class during the 5 years. That's sad...
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