Friday, August 8, 2014

Recovery

There I was, gone for 2 months, and as I come back, looking forward to re-entering the blogging world, it is just in time to learn that Janine is quitting one of the link-ups I join regularly. At this point, I'd love to thank Janine for hosting the Finish The Sentence Friday so far, for introducing me to it and providing something to write about every Friday  :-)

Luckily for me, the link-up still continues, hosted by Kristi and Stephanie, with quite an interesting cue for this week:

The most incredible thing my body has ever done is...

... recovering from whatever I've thrown at it over and over again.

Going back, starting in my early teenage years, I've never been good to my body. For years, I've suffered from severe eating disorders, gaining and losing again 20 or 30 pounds within a matter of a few months, eating meals just to yuck them up again in the bathroom minutes after getting off the table.

Once I was somewhat over all that, still panicking when thinking about fat or sugar, I compensated with sports. I went into martial arts and started to pack on muscles. I've destroyed the skin on my shin bones to prevent pain, at times, my whole body was more black and blue than normal color, but still I kept pushing, until I had this moment in the bathroom in one of the clubs I frequented and saw that bull-necked girl in a neckholder top and decided I had to change.

Yes, at this point, I was firmly lodged into the party scene, drinking heavily with the bikers and dancing the nights away in hip-hop clubs. There were weekends I was neither sober nor got any sleep, and those weekends were the rule, not the exception.

Luckily, at this point I entered my 20s, and my priorities changed. I didn't drink much any more, slept more, and my body returned to normal. I went to college and eventually met the husband. We were married and moved to the U.S., and I found a new drug: work. This was maybe the healthiest addiction I've had so far, but long work weeks paired with compressing 2 years of college into only 15 month and my first pregnancy again brought my body to the verge of just collapsing.

Then, we had Lily, and my life changed. It was a long and difficult birth, and when we finally got to hold our daughter in our arms for the first time, I knew that I had to change. I needed to be healthy, in body and mind, to be the mother our daughter would need. Someone, who is a positive role model, someone, she can watch and model her own life after, and become a healthy and happy person.

At that point, I don't know if my body would recover, from all the damage I have done, from this difficult birth and problematic recovery afterward. But surprisingly, it did. My body has not only recovered but managed to create and sustain two more children, and I feel the healthiest I've ever been.  And this truly amazes me.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

16 comments:

  1. Have an amazing weekend sweet friend! :)

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  2. Wow what an inspiration. I'm so glad that your body recovered and that having your daughter was something that made it possible for you to become healthy, both in body and mind.

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    1. Thanks so much, Kristi! I am truly amazed myself about it, and very, very thankful. Have a great weekend!

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  3. I am so happy to know of your success - that is no easy task and you get a big GO GIRL from over here. It's amazing how much these children make us want to do and be, isn't it?

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    1. It definitely is, Lisa! My biggest goal is to not see the girls head down the same path as I have, but to raise them as strong, happy individuals. Only time will tell if we're successful, but we can definitely say that we did the best we could most days :-)

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  4. Aww, huge thank you for the kind words above and seriously so glad you will keep on joining. I promise I will still be joining when I can, but just like I said can't keep doing it every week anymore. That said loved how you answered the prompt and true inspiration to us all, Stephanie! :)

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    1. As I said, Janine, I totally understand your reasoning behind your stepping down from hosting the link-up; still sad to see you go ;-) Thank you so much for your kind words! Have a great weekend!

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  5. You know, I think most of us at least make some major changes when our kids come into our world. I'm glad yours was to treat your body better. I did quite the opposite. I became so enthralled in taking care of 3 kids who don't sleep all night that I collapsed my body a couple times, and I'd like to believe I'm slowly healing from that, but I'm not sure if the damage is reversible on the mental health range. Time will tell, but thanks for giving me hope.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Michelle! While I definitely tried to be healthy and not put extra burdens on my body by depriving it of nutrients or weaken it with toxins or excessive sports, motherhood definitely has taken its toll as well. I remember times when Violet would wake up 5 or 6 times a night and wanted to nurse and still I had to get up at the crack of dawn for a 10-hour work day. I cannot describe the physical and mental exhaustion, but I recovered somewhat. Sometimes, this meant making compromises I'm not necessarily too happy with, like letting the girls watch TV on Sunday mornings until I've gotten the sleep I need, but I know that I'm a better parent that way. I hope you will recover, too, Michelle! It will definitely take time, but I'm sure it'll happen!

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  6. This is my first time joining in this hop and it's been so interesting to read the posts. I am glad you managed to change your life around and look after your body after having your baby. Not everyone manages. And great that your body has recovered.

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    1. Welcome to the hop, Yvonne, and thank you for your kind words. It was so important to me to become a good role model for the girls, because I never want them to hurt the way I did for so long!

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  7. I am happy that you changed your life around, S
    Wishing you well and happiness with your two precious beings!
    xoxo

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    1. Thank you very much, Ruchira! Definitely enjoying our now 3 little ones! They were worth all the efforts to become healthy!

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  8. That really IS amazing, and what's more- you are aware of it and can really feel grateful and joyful about what your body has done. Good for you for turning it all around!

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    1. Thanks a lot for your encouragement, Stephanie! Unfortunately, years of malnutrition can destroy a body beyond repair, and I can't tell you how truly I am to have dodged this bullet!

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