Saturday, February 16, 2013

But What If I WANT To Be Home??

The other day I came across this post on Blogher. While I do not think that separation from the mom will cause permanent damage in the little ones as long as they are with another primary caregiver (such as the dad, grandma, etc.). Seriously, which mother who really loves her child and wants the best for her/him would leave their newborn with just someone their child does have no bond with? I openly say that I have gone out without the little ones for the first time when they were 6 weeks old. It was not planned, but each time, the hubby kicked me out to watch a movie with a good friend of mine while he bonded with the baby. Let me tell you, I am completely sure that they didn't take any damage from that separation.

Recently, however, Richard keeps pushing me to go out and take some "me"-time on the weekends, just to relax and get a break. I know, he means well. And there are days, where the girls, especially violet, seem to suffocate me. But even on days like that, I still don't just want to go out.

I think, that this post has really made it clear to me: even though Richard means well and only wants my best, I don't WANT to go out. I don't WANT the "me"-time he offers. I work during the week and usually use my lunch break to go shopping or run errands. The girls have a pretty steady bed-time at 8 pm, which I suppose leaves me with plenty of "me"-time, even though sometimes it still doesn't give me the time to get everything done. But on those weekends, even the ones where Violet won't even let me go to the bathroom by myself and follows me around every waking step, I do not want to go out. That is the "me"-time with the girls; this is where I get to cuddle them, read to them, and watch them play. And even if they annoy me to the bones on those days, or I just haven't gotten enough sleep and am very cranky, I don't want to be without them.

I agree that completely overwhelmed moms, who are only on edge and close to falling off the wrong side, are not help to their children and SHOULD take a time-out if they want to. I cannot call myself a true attachment parent; I practice some things, but not all. However, this is my choice, and for me it is the right one. I WANT to be home with them!

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