When Will You Be Gone??

 Today's cue in Jenni's "Blog Every Day in May"-challenge: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it?

Well, I call him my "bane of existence". There's this guy in the office, who has the talent to turn my best mood sour once he enters th office. If it rains - Oh dear, this weather sucks, Germany sucks!! All this rain, all the time..  If the sun shines - Oh dear, it's always so HOT here.. Germany sucks, there's no good weather here... Discussing retirement in Germany - Oh goodness, Germany sucks! In my home country, if you reach retirement age, you get 75% of your last income, no matter how long you've worked... On being selected for a pilot project at department level - This sucks, it's so unorganized, no-one can do that, we're only doing this to make the department head look good to his boss!  On sleep - Oh dear, all you guys sleep way too much, I only need three of four hours! You all miss your lives!!  On free-time: Oh, I never have time for anything, that sucks so much! I work this day job, and then I play piano Friday and Saturday night, and Sunday for bruch..  On back issues - Ouch, that hurts so much!! NO, I'm not going to see a doctor about it!!

Ok, you get the impression. If he's not complaining about any- and everything, bad-mouthing Germany and Germans, families, etc., he's getting on all of our nerves using us as guinea pigs for his new career as a magician. Yes, there are actually people who have work to do, who want to go home to their families at a decent time, and have a good time at work.

What am I doing about it?? Wait it out, I guess. He's talking a lot about his goals, and I hope that once this project he's working on is over, he will move on to become the manager he dreams to be, and there will be no 8:30 a.m. cold shower any more!

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Oh Happiness...

Jenni at Story Of My Life asks today to share 10 things that make me very happy. Nothing better to make my day than thinking about things that make me happy.. Here it goes:

1. My family.. All three of them!!

2. The first colored leaves in fall (Source: Forestfoliage)

3. The first green leaves of spring (Source: Wikipedia)

4. The smell of a summer shower (Source: Crimsoncorvus)

5. The first snow in winter (Source: Noworkday)

6. A great book (Source: Phlmetropolis)

7. Watching a new episode of Doctor Who with the hubby (Source: Telegraph UK)

8. An afternoon with good friends and good wine (Source: Etsystatic)

9. The sparkling in the girls' eyes when the see the Yule tree for the first time.

10. Weekends!!

What makes YOU really happy??

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I'm Sorry...

Today, Jenni's Blog Every Day In May challenge asks me to issue a public apology. Well, here it is:

I'm sorry for being me. Actually, not really.. But I am sorry that YOU have a problem with me being me. Unfortunately, I will not change who I am just to gain your approval. Why? Well, because the only people who really matter (i.e. my hubby and our two wonderful girls) love me just the way I am. They love me even tough I'm OCD at times. They love me even though I color my hair darker despite the fact that they like me better with my natural color (as voiced by Lily today). They love me despite being impatient, moody, grumpy, overworked, etc. They are my rock to ground me; therefore I will have to inform you that YOUR input doesn't matter. I will never be the housewife you expected me to be. I will never apologize for loving my girls and not yearing for a boy. I will never give up the job I love. I will not apoligize for being successful, since I have worked hard enough for it. I will not apologize for the fight I have not initiated. I will not allow you to abuse my daughters and get away with it. And I will not forget about it for the sake of your precious harmony.

I am me, and if you cannot accept that, I'm sorry for you.

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Oh Washington, My Washington

Today, Jenni's Blog Every Day In May challenge asks: What do you miss?

Well, I do miss my declared "Home State", Washington. I'm German, so my actual home state is Bavaria, Germany. The first state I've lived in the U.S. is Kansas; not really a fan, I have to admit. So when Richard's separation from the military became imminent, we discussed where we would go from there. We had several contenders, the top three being (in no specific order) Boston, Chicago, and Seattle. We did our research. Boston was out after the 2007 bomb scare, which the hubby considered just asenine.

PSA: NOT a bomb!! Source: Wikipedia

Chicago went out due to the statistics, since the crime rate seems to be fairly high there. So off to Seattle we went one sunny July afternoon. The next day, we hit Denver, CO, and I was amazed. I wondered why we never even considered to move to Denver, since it was simply amazing there. Once we hit the Cascades, I knew why. I fell in love with Washington so hard that I still miss it to this day and become homesick for it. I've never seen green as green as there. I've never before seen seasons this beautiful before.We loved Seattle at first sight, and still love it, even though we decided to move away from there for a better future for our family in Germany. I will always consider myself a Washingtonian by heart, and I'm always excited to visit my Home State. Believe me, there is no way to describe my feelings when the plane descends into Seattle. Then, our family ist turly coming home...

Seattle from the Space Needle, October 2008

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Oh Goodness, Did That Just Happen?

Thanks to Jenni's Blog Every Day In May cue of the day, here's the part of Violet's birth story that I omitted to mention so far (attention, major TMI!!)

So, I was at the pushing stage, pushing away, trying to get this little girl out. After about an hour of pushing, I felt that my strength was going down quickly. I hadn't been able to keep any food down since the night before, and since I wanted to avoid being transferred to a hospital, I knew that Violet needed some extra help to get out more quickly. Even though I did not plan on it beforehand, I asked the midwife to break my water to try and speed up the process a little. I moved to my back, and at the hight of my next contraction, she opened my bag of water. Due to the pressure, a huge wave of amniotic fluid gashed out, showering the midwife. Her face was.. well.. priceless?? And it was definitely the most absurd and definitely embarrassing situation of my life, on which luckily no-one was able to really dwell, since a little girl was about to join us as an outside-baby.

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Violet And The Dog

Thanks to Jenni's Blog Every Day In May challenge, I'm sharing an event with you, that's probably only for me super-exciting.

Our 3-year old, Violet, is a little Miss Scaredy-Pants. Especially, she is afraid of large dogs, or any animal that approaches her proactively instead of waiting until she has decided to approach them. She has received some training on that, partly from our neighbors very active but tiny Beavers (Yorkie mix), partly from my friend's Golden Retriever/Rottweiler mix, who is probably the calmest dog I've ever seen.

Thanks to having had her exposure to dogs, I was able to shoot this picture of her and Lily with my uncle's labrador; and yes, I am excited about it!

Lily and Violet petting the labrador

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I'm A Fan!

 Today's cue for the Blog every Day in May challenge is to show love for our favorite blogger out there. There are so many wonderful bloggers out there, and I read your posts, even though I might not always have the time to comment. Anyways, I couldn't cut it down to one, but I would like to express my public appreciation for two amazing bloggers out there:

First, I would like to say thank you to Jessica at The Wondering Brain. Jessica does it all, and makes it look like a breeze. She's a mother, wife, employee, PhD-student, and blogger. I'm sure she has found the secret to adding at least 12 more hours to her day, or she's just so much better than I am managing it all. I have done full-time job plus college, newborn plus college, and full-time job plus family, but never family, work, and school at the same time. And on top of all of that being a very active and involved blogger. You have my fullest admiration, Jessica!

Second, I would like to express my love to Jen at The Adventures Of Our Army Life. Jen is an Army wife, supporting her husband and the unit by being an active member (and soon to be leader) of her Family Readiness Group (FRG), which is a support and information group for the spouses and dependents of the soldiers (for those who never had any affiliation with the military). Something I admire about Jen more than anything else is her positive outlook. She's struggling with repeated miscarriages, but doesn't give up. I remember back when Richard and I were trying to have a baby, and each month (all two we were unsuccessful) I was just a total wreck. Jen is such a strong person, who I adore beyond anything. I know that she and her husband will be successful at the end, because she's a fighter. I'm such a fan of her, because she shows me every day what a wimp I am and that I, too, can get beyond my issues, because if she can smile through her struggles, I can as well, since my issues are so much smaller than hers.

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He Said, She Said

Today's cue for the blogging challenge over at Story of My Life is my favorite quote. This is actually a hard one for me; there are many quotes out there that speak to me, so how to choose a favorite? Since I have to choose, I will say it's this:

"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves"

His Holiness, The 14th Dalai Lama

There are so many things the Dalai Lama says that speak right to my heart. There is a book, The Art of Happiness, written by an American psychologist based on several lectures by and personal interviews with the Dalai Lama. I read this book about once a year, to ground me, to re-focus on what is important.

So why did I chose exactly this quote? I am not at peace with myself, I know that, and it's probably my greatest struggle right now. I feel constantly judged by people on the outside; to be honest, I don't just feel jusged, I am being judged. And it hurts me, because in their eyes I always come out lacking. But I also know that no matter what I do, I will never be deserving in their eyes; in order to be accepted, I would have to completely deny myself, which I am neither able nor willing to do. Nevertheless, I am still struggling to rise in their estimation, to obtain their respect, and make them like me; I waste energy, time, thoughts, worries, and tears on them, none of which they deserve. It was decided early on after they met me that I would be the stone in their shoes and ever since they let me feel my position. It hurts, but I know that I have to focus on what is important. I have to let go of my attempts to please people I will never be able to please and put that energy towards my family and friends, and on working on my own issues. I know that one day, I will be at peace with the outer world, because once I am at peace with myself, they won't matter any more, and I will be at peace with the outer world as well.

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Blog Every Day In May Challenge

I have come across this blog challenge on a couple of other blogs I read on a regular basis. It was created by Jenni at Story of My Life:

Here are the rules and daily cues, copied and pasted from Jenni's post:

Here are the rules:

1. There really aren't any rules. If you miss a day, you can make it up or skip it. The blog police will not come knocking.

2. I will be including a linkup option at the bottom of my post each day, so you are welcome to leave your links here for others to peruse, as well. 

3. You can still post other things every day, too. I plan to do normal outfit posts, life posts, around-Austin posts, and sponsor posts just like usual.

4. I'd seriously love you if you also include the "blog every day in May" button (below) either on your sidebar or at the end of your posts, but again, the blog police will not come knocking. My main goal here is to get us all back to the basics of blogging, not to gain a million new readers (though I wouldn't mind that). 

5. Here are the topics. You can be as creative and awesome or as boring and bland as you like with these. Take 'em and run with it. Use creative post titles. Interpret each "prompt" however you like. There's no wrong way to do it. Have fun.

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)

Day 2, Thursday: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable

Day 4, Saturday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it

Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member

Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 

Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it
Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers

Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory


Since I'm kind of in a pretty bad place mentally these days, I hope that this challenge ties me over until I have pulled myself out of the hole again. Can't take me forever, right? (yes, and afternoon with my friends and some meditation on "happiness" already helped a little).

Come join me in this fun challenge!