Monday, January 13, 2014

Now You've Got To Work This Off

I've been thinking about that little episode I'd encountered last week for a while now.  I was just walking down the stairs in a store when a mother with her about 10-year old daughter is coming up. The girl was lagging behind, trying to convince her mother to take the elevator, saying she was tired. Her mother encountered that the girl now had to work off the piece of cake she'd had earlier.

Yes, I know that it is important to eat healthy and be active, but the mother's approach still somewhat flabbergasted me. Having dealt with eating and body dysmorphic disorders for many years, one of my major goal as a mom, especially to girls, is to raise them healthy and happy. We teach them healthy eating habits, but sweets are always allowed. And while I couldn't agree more with the mom that they should take the stairs whenever possible, I don't agree at all with her reasoning. Pre-teens are often so sensitive when it comes to weight and body image, and being told that she had to "work off that piece of cake" does not sound very supportive to me, especially since the girl did not look as if she had any weight issues.

Why is it not possible to enjoy a treat without thinking on "levelling it out"? Why do people feel the necessity to connect food with guilt and as a consequence excercise instead of enjoying both without that link?  Am I overly sensitive or is this an increasingly serious issue?

12 comments:

  1. It's one thing for a parent to not want their child to be lazy. It's something entirely different to want a young girl to "work off" their snack. Give me a break!

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    1. My words! It's one thing to say: hey, let's run up the stairs, it's FUN! A completely other thing is saying: You've got to take the stairs because you had a treat. One is motivating, the other guilt tripping.

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  2. No you are certainly not overly sensitive. Seriously, I would not ever even think of saying that to one of my kids or depriving them of a piece of cake and then making them feel guilty. I think if I would have heard this, I too would have been appalled and seriously what is wrong with some people. Can't even and just does make you wonder.

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    1. Exactly. There should not ever be a direct link between treats (or food in general) and workout. Both a healthy diet and excercise are important, but focussing on always "evening out" sounds pretty unhealthy!

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  3. While I have no idea what was going on with this mom and daughter, I would like to put a different perspective on this. I think it depends on her tone and what was going on before this. I can completely see myself saying this to one of my kids.
    A 10 year old girl can be in a mood to whine. About anything. I take my kids up and down steps instead of elevators plenty of times, just because we have legs that work and can. If my daughter is in a whining mood, she would whine about taking the stairs. I just might say something off the cuff like that in a joking kind of way. My daughter has zero worries about her body and would just roll her eyes when I said it.
    I'm not saying this is what happened, but it's always a possibility.

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    1. I see your point, Christine. And yes, the girl might have been whiny, but there was no joking in the mother's voice, more annoyance and urgency to get to the sale. But again, it was just a short episode I've witnessed, and I know nothing about the family. It just irked me..

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  4. Wow I'm not sure how I feel about what that Mom said. It can be taken many ways. Just interesting for sure.

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    1. With my history, something like that just gets me off somehow.

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  5. Wow!!! I don't think I would tell my daughter that... I know that, as a child, that would have REALLY negatively affected me!

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    1. I know how it would have affected me. And I know how similar things have in fact affected me, so I'm very sensitive in those matters.. I sure wouldn't ever tell our daughters that!!!

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  6. I agree with you here, Stephanie. The lady could and probably should have said something more along the lines of "taking the steps will make us fitter than taking the elevator". I remember my own mum saying things like that, but maybe not when I was as young as ten. Basically, those comments were more about her than they were about me. She was thinking of the calories she'd just eaten and was worried she'd put on weight. Kids aren't always able to rationalise things like that though, unfortunately. I remember feeling that those comments really ruined the nice experience we'd just had together, going out for a piece of cake or an ice-cream together. I remember thinking "why bother having it at all if you're going to feel guilty about it 2 minutes later??". Ah, these things are so tricky.

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    1. I totally agree. It took me until I was well into my 20s, after I've had Lily, that I could appreciate my body and was actually able to enjoy food. And it starts with small things like that, which leads to the first critical glances into the mirror, the first calculating of calories, etc. And I want our girls to grow up enjoying food and excercise, but each by itself. Lily is very excited right now to go buy some really good running shoes and go running with me come spring :-)

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