Friday, October 4, 2013
Our Hardest Choice
And before we know it, Friay again. I am again linking up with Janine and Kate for Finish The Sentence Friday. Today's prompt:
The hardest choice I ever made was...
... leaving the Army. We had just brought our Lily home from the hospital, Richard was still home on leave (because his unit was on a concert tour), when he asked me if I would agree if he left the Army.
He told me how unhappy he was with the Army, that he felt there was no place for him and he was just pushed from one void position to the next without a real purpose. And that he did not want to leave Lily and me to be deployed. That he could not imagine leaving his little daughter and come back to a kid a year older, who probably didn't recognize him any more, or had no memories with her dad for a year.
I cried. I was scared what would happen; we had planned visiting my family in Germany during the winter leave that year, but if we were out there, who knows when this would happen? Would we get jobs, how would we manage the transition, and where would we go. But most of all, I cried for my husband's unhappiness.
I knew that I would probably give up a lot of time with our daughter, as I would most likely be the one who would get the primary job as my education was a lot better than his. I would not be the part-time working mom I wanted to, but I also would not be the sometimes-single mom waiting for her deployed husband to call and confirm that he was alive.
It was by far the hardest decision I've ever made. There were times when I regretted it, there were times when I would have given everything to be able to work only part-time. But then again we're luckier than most. We are able to raise our kids by ourselves, according to our values. We can live comfortable off my income, and once Richard starts working, who knows, maybe I'll be able to cut some hours. But for now, this is the best decision we could have made for our family.