Saturday, May 18, 2013

Being Ugly

Today's prompt at the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge: Tell a story from your childhood.

Well, do you remember when you have felt ugly for the first time? I hope you never have, but seriously, most of you who will read this are girls, and I suppose the large majority of us has felt ugly at one or the other time during our lives. I do remember this moment quite vividly... I was 5 years old, as old as Lily today. We've had a picture day in kindergarten, I had been so excited. I had been allowed to dress up in a skirt and blouse, and we were going to the gallery in the newly-built wing of the kindergarten to have our picture taken. The photographer fixed my hair, and I posed. I felt pretty, and it was exciting.

A few weeks later, we got the pictures back to take home so our parents could select which ones they would purchase. I saw how my mom's jaw dropped and she frowned when she looked at my pictures. And then the bomb went off: she said, she didn't like the pictures and wouldn't get any of mine. They picked several of my pretty sister's pictures, but none of mine. I asked my mom why, and she said that she didn't like them, she didn't like how the photographer combed my hair in a side part and didn't like how I looked in it. I remember how I begged her to buy at least one of my pictures. She did, at last, pick one of my pictures. And I felt ugly for the first time in my life.

Today, this picture is still hanging in my parent's staircase. It is one of the few pictures of me as a child that I actually like, because I look like a girl, not like a boy, who occasionally wears girl's clothes. But the picture also always makes me remember how I felt back then, a quarter of a century ago, and I know that I will never hurt my girls like that!

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6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I felt sad while reading this but I'm sure your mom didn't mean to hurt you like that.

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    1. I'm sad to say that I don't know if she meant to be mean or just thoughtless about her words. It's just always be the fact that my sister is the pretty one, who's practical and musical, and skilled, while I was the one who... well, the one who read a lot??

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  2. Isnt it funny how parents always have those ugly pics of you still up on the wall or sitting around some where. No matter how much you fuss to them about taking it down. Parents are always like "Werent you so cute." or the famous "that's when you were sweet." Um no that's when I was ugly and needed help in the fashion area. LOL :p

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    1. It was the other way round, Laney. My mom said that I looked stupid with the hair parted like that in the picture and didn't want to get any. The pictures she did like, I looked like a boy in a skirt. She used to cut my hair very short until I was about 7 and started to fight her in that. You will never find a picture of myself between the ages of 2 and 8 in my house!

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  3. I bet that picture is awesome! :)

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    1. It is actually one of the better photos of that time in my life. The photographer really did a good job making me look like a girl. Besides that, I really looked like a boy, who someimes wore a skirt or dress. I would never, ever do something like that to our girls!

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