Well, there are two things that kind of stuck with me. The first one was back in highschool, I think 7th grade or so. I was definitely an outcast and one of the weird kids. I had major body image issues that I was keeping to myself. So one afternoon in recess, some girl mentioned to me: Wow, you have beautiful eyes! A few of the other kids came over to look at my eyes and agreed that they were very nice. It was definitely a major compliment to me, since it came from kids that usually spend their time ignoring or bullying me. I think, I felt a tiny bit beautiful in that moment.
A not so nice comment came just about a year or so ago from my mom (yes, the usual thing). I've cut any ties to my sister back in 2011. Long and painful story, but I feel better with the situation as it is; I should add that the initial prompt "ok, we are no sisters any more!" came from her, and I just went with it and following through instead of rowing back, apoligizing, etc., as it has been numerous times before. Ever since, mostly my mom keeps badgering me to make up with her, to seek her out and talk about it. I refused over and over again, because it would be her turn to contact me, not vice versa; and since she doesn't seem to see the need to talk to me, I'm (again) fine with it. The comment that really stuck one day, after discussing the whole matter for the nth time was: "You are so cruel and cut-throat, I wouldn't want to have you as an enemy!" Thank you, mother! I know that you claimed time and again that you would NOT chose sides in the matter, but I also know that you have picked your side from the beginning, the side you chose probably once the test back in 1985 was positive. It hurt me, it really did. But I am starting to come to terms with it. I know that she will never be on my side, no matter if I'm right or not. I also know that I can be stubborn and insist on my point if I feel right, which I definitely am in this case. If that makes me cruel and cut-throat, so be it. I know that this is not who I am. There are plenty of people in my life who can attest to that. So once more, her opinion should not cut as deep as it does.
What are the most interesting or memorable things you have heard about yourself?
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I'm sorry about the problems with your mom/sister. I'm an only child, but I have definitely heard a number of things like that from my mother. Keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comment and support! It's getting easier with time, espacially because I have the unending support from my own family.
DeleteHugs friend! Relationships with family are often hard, I know exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jen! It's hard, but I think I've found a way dealing with my family in peace (or a truce??), so that's a good thing, especially because of the girls.
DeleteSorry with the issues. The only time i had issues with my mom is when I didnt live at home for 7 yrs and was with a douchebag. but ever so often there may be something that comes up. Heck I stop doing anything since I've been back almost 2 yrs b/c of how I have to ask and crap and cant just get in a vehicle and go some where and they wont let me borrow a vehicle. So i sorta feel like i'm in prison but I get a shower daily, nice food, clean clothes, fresh air LOL. I'm blessed non the least. I do know that it's just I feel like I'm in a 29 yr old body but treated like i'm 12.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your situation, Laney. That's why I think it's so important for you to find a job, some job, just to re-gain some independence again. It annoyed me to no end when my mom tried to tell me how to live my life, whom to date, etc. when I was 18, I probably would jump at her throat if she pulled that now!
DeleteThings like this always make my heart ache. Your family - especially your mom! - are supposed to be there for you, no matter what. When people pick sides against each other, it just seems utterly ridiculous. Good for you for being the bigger person and staying the course. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThank you, Melissa. Without my husband's support and the girls I probably would have caved in a long time ago, but he's right that I cannot let them dictate my life and make me feel inferior forever.
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